What’s your experience?
Years ago I started a thread like this with almost the same title, but I think I can contribute something I did not think of the first time.
When, given the choice of checking out the fabulous-looking young lady who just walked in the store and checking out the small child having a meltdown while his parents try to figure out whether to leave the store or just ignore it, you choose the meltdown.
(recycled) When, checking out young lovelies you start fantasizing about how good-looking their moms must be.
–SSgtBaloo
You know you are a parent when you…
know the locations of all the public bathrooms within a 10 mile radius
know all the Disney songs by heart
know the difference between Megaman and Power Rangers
buy ketchup in bulk
buy toilet paper by the case
know which restaurant has the “good” macaroni and cheese
know when summer break is over and look forward to it
are constantly stepping on Lego pieces
check over your shoulder to make sure no one is looking before you drink out of the OJ container
turn whenever any kid shouts “Mom” (or Dad)
immediately headcount your offspring when the PA announces a lost child
Only ankle deep? I think we’ve been up to knee deep several times.
You know you’re a parent when you can sit calmly while a small child empties the contents of their belly onto you.
In that same vein - I’ve won the mommy trifecta a few times now - when you manage to get popped on, peed on and puked on all in one day!
Oh and when suddenly you realize people are asking you for your advice about how to raise your kids because you look like you have a clue instead of how you really feel (that you are winging this and hope to hell no one catches on) then you know you’re a parent!
To paraphrase Bill Cosby: When kids are fighting fathers don’t want justice, they want quiet.
Have purchased (& use) a puke bucket for each child.
Evaluate potential furniture by how well it would hide/get out food, dirt, vomit, & penicillin.
Find yourself correcting friends with, “No, no honey!”
Think that white carpet is an insane idea
Have at least one vegetable & one fruit on the supper table at every meal.
Are familiar with the complete product line for American Girl, Fisher-Price, and Barbie.
Know how to stop mouth bleeding with sugar
Always have maraschino cherries and popsicles on hand.
Use a different voice for each book character when reading aloud
Know that a “blowout” does not necessarily refer to tires
Are familiar with several ways to neutralize spit-up, both visually and in smell form.
Have realized that humans can, in fact, function for years on four hours of sleep per night or less.
Have shouted, “Turn that crap down!” or “Don’t make me come (up/down) there!”
Have started any sentence with, “Young lady/Young man, you’d better…”
Have ever advised anyone to straighten up & fly right.
Can install and de-install any model of car-seat in less than 2 minutes.
Can accurately guess the ages of most small children, including babies, by visual cues alone.
Know how many pieces a hot dog or grape must be cut into for different ages or children, and in what way this must be done
Know that silence to parents’ ears = fear in parental hearts
Have an amazing collection of playdoh vases, decorated plates, and art done mostly in Crayola-style media.
Mrs. Furthur
THIS is the definitive answer.
I swear, I thought my daughter had an unnatural interest in plumbing when she was small.
And not only know the locations of the bathrooms, but exactly which ones are sparkling clean and which ones are totally unacceptable.
And also which places will let you use their bathrooms, even if you’re not technically a customer.
That’s nothing. Aaron knows which ends of the plunger and toilet brush go in the potty AND he can turn the bathroom faucet on and off.
Robin
Well, he’s found his calling. He’s going to be a plumber. Just make sure he has his diaper pulled down to show his “plumber’s crack.” 
You say “oopsie” (or “ut-oh” or your equivalent) when a complete stranger drops something within your vacinity before you can stop yourself.
You know more about something you previously couldn’t have cared less about than you ever imagined - for me, it was construction equipment and now video games.
You find words like “yucky” slipping into your language regardless of where you are (a marketing meeting is a great place to slip in a word like that, let me tell you.)
How do you do this? And don’t the kids keep biting their lip so they can get a free dose of sugar (I prolly would if I was a kid again)?
You’re a real parent when, in the absence of any suitable container, you can catch spit-up and projectile vomit with your cupped hands.
You devote your thoughts during long car trips to the individual personality foibles of Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, La-La, and Po.
I knew I was a parent when it didn’t phase me in the slightest to change a massive poopy diaper right there on the front seat of the BMW, then throw that same diaper in the trunk till we found a trash can.
What the hell is it with sigs? Sometimes its there, sometimes its not. 
After watching *way too much * of this show, I am begining to think Falwell was onto something…
Delta-32 Skee-do!
Sit calmly? I have been excited and happy that the vomit is landing on me and not the couch! Subtly adjusting my body so the next load lands on a dry spot on my shirt…
adds this to the Why To Never Have Kids file
Check.
Check, check and double check.
Wow. Now all I need is a SO and children…