. . . you’re the only one at work who can do Gregg shorthand or indeed has even heard of it.
Any more?
(with apologies to MAD magazine)
. . . you see the advertisements for the latest summer special-effects laden blockbuster movie, and you yawn and decide to go see a foreign film instead. (which happened to me just a couple of days ago)
…you walk through the mall saying to yourself “Who WEARS this stuff!!!”
oh, and you build a solar oven because it seems like a thrifty “neato” thing to do, lol. 
…you don’t object to modern music, per se, but most of it just isn’t music.
You’re really old if the term “caterwauling” comes to mind when you hear it.
I guess, then, at 19, I’m an old fart.
WTF is Gregg Shorthand? That sounds vaguely obscene.
When “retro” fads unearth some stupidities of youth, and they don’t look much better the second time around.
I barely remember some of the 50’s elements that are so popluar today (Mom clothes) the fashions look even worse than I remembered. Ditto the skimpy pseudo Mary Quant little dresses from the sixties. They were unforgiving to wear back then unless one had perfect legs, but joined with greasy hair and Frankenstein shoes? :::shudders:::
Okay, I’m a sixties animal…girls who disdain feminism; people who don’t know who MalcomX was or stood for; what Freedom Marches were; and the ahistorical, Newsweek absurdities about the VietNam war and Watergate.
It’s a mixed blessing to live long enough to compare impeachment proceedings over lying about a blowjob (in Washington! the shock!) compared to impeachment for using the full force of the federal government to cover up systematic abuses against private citizens and the very structure of government for short-term political ends.
Sorry for the rant, but c’mon, already!
Veb
friedo, Gregg shorthand is an ancient ritual, long practiced by our ancestors. It involves village elders giving instruction to the adolescent males of the tribe in the time-honored craft of “self-pleasuring,” with the goal of imparting the skill of doing it with just the palm of the hand. No fingers are involved in the true artist’s act, and thus “shorthand” was a way of describing the ability of the true artist. Tribe member Gregg is on record as the first of our ancestors who was able to perfom thusly, and so Gregg shorthand was born.
10 years ago, you would have taken off to Norfolk to see Lynyrd Skynyrd with Satan and Dopers no matter what, (hell, you would even have quit your job, if need be) even if you had to hitchike and didn’t have tickets, but now, noooooooooooooooooooo
kids,responsibilities, bills, hitchiking could get you killed, etc…
:: still sobbing uncontrollably ::
…you avoid this thread for fear of confirmation.
Then you check anyway and feel old and stupid.
…you go through the checkout line at the grocery wearing a concert t-shirt from your favorite band, and the 10-year-old cashier (well, maybe twelve) chirps, “Oh, you like Rush? I know who they are, because my parents listen to them.”
You wonder who’s going to babysit the babysitter.
. . . You’re brought up short by the thought of Freddie Prinze, JR., being a sex symbol.
… Your wife says she’s feeling playful, and you suggest a game of Pinnochle.
…you make “Dad noises.” You know what I’m talking about I’d bet. I sit on the floor and then give out an unconscious groan of effort when I get back up. Or after coming home from work when I sit down and make that “Aaaahhhh…” sound like I’ve just run a footrace.
… you now identify with one of your favorite band’s more obscure songs, “I Think I’m Going Bald.”
(Greetings, God of Balance.)
…you’re older than every player in the NFL and some of the coaches as well.
…You’re no longer embarrassed to go to the store at 11:00 at night and buy just a box of rubbers and a half gallon of ice cream.
AWB, 
And I’m honored by your greeting. {deep bow} The quest for balance lasts a lifetime.
And I’m not going bald, thank goodness, but I’m definitely graying a little. Isn’t it odd that when they wrote that song, they were only about 20 years old? It must have been an extremely hearty night of partying to find one waking up in that “feeling really old” state of mind.
You are watching MTV and really enjoying it and think you are not that UNcool when you realize its a VH1 oldies special.
Hear the songs you grew up with on Muzak.
CandyMan
A night on the town ends at 12:30 because going to the bars just isn’t as much fun as it used to be and you have to pick up the kids at 9 a.m. and need your sleep! (This one really makes me feel old cause I used to be able to party all night long)