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The BBQ Pit
1

So I bought a new computer. It’s nice. It has a modem and stuff, so I can read the SDMB at home, or stay up until two in the morning exchanging IMs with my favourite loose woman. I’m happy.

Except … I have lots of software to install. And I can register it online. Indeed, I can’t avoid registering it online.

I type my name. I type my address. I type my father’s middle name and my mother’s maiden name. I type my postcode. The web page doesn’t accept a UK postcode. I stick pins in a wax image of the web developer responsible for this. The web page accepts a five-digit zip code of 00000. Fine by me.

I type my name. I type my address. I have to input the date of purchase. The date of purchase is January 2003. The drop-down box for years only goes up to 2002. I enter December 2002, and award no prizes to anyone for forward planning.

I type my name. I type my address. I have to input the serial number. The serial number for this product is on the CD jewel case. The serial number for this product is on the box. The serial number for this product is somewhere in the user manual. The serial number for this product is tattooed on the back of a cat in Chipping Sodbury.

I remember to uncheck all the checkboxes that say “Yes! I have purchased your product! Please send me junk mail about it from now until fricking Doomsday!” You’re not catching me like that, oh no.

I decide, eventually, it’s time to use one of the products I spent so much time registering. What’s this? It not only needs registration when you install it, it needs an unlocking procedure before you can use it. (Is this by any chance a Microsoft product we’re talking about here? Need you ask?)

I type my name. I type my address. The online unlocking thing can’t be contacted. Try again. I type my name … I’ve forgotten my name. My name is on the CD jewel case. No it isn’t, that’s my father’s maiden name. I type my name. I type my address. This time, the software unlocks itself. I try to remember why I opened it in the first place.

I type my name. I type my address. I may need to restart my machine. I may need a very large drink. Yes, that sounds a much better idea.

2

That’s the price you pay for the security features of the product line.

3

Hahahaha.

That’s why god invented SysAdmins and/or piracy, dude.

pan

4

I’m not sure God invented sysadmins. In fact, I’m not sure which loathly pit of Hell first spawned sysadmins, then disowned them for lowering its standards.

But I suppose they are dealing with this sort of nonsense all the time … no wonder they go peculiar.

They may need to restart their machines.

5

Ooh, I’m taking big-time umbrage at that. You’re lucky this isn’t Sysadmin Appreciation Day or I’d unleash my Blue-Screen-of-Death demon spawn underlings.

micilin (a sysadmin, but not the type who calls people ‘lusers’.)

6

Bring back dongles!

7

Well, I’ve spent a lot of time lately trying to move SQL Server databases from one place to another … and failing, because networks have been set up wrong, or backup software incorrectly configured … so my views may, at the moment, be just a tiny tad jaundiced …

8

You just call them wankers, don’t you?

9

Oh, and as for the OP, that sucks, my sympathies. Have you gotten any software which disables the ‘don’t spam me’ check box? There’s a special place in hell waiting for the developers of that stuff.

And

made me go :slight_smile:

And on preview:

  1. Looks like Mangetout’s going to the bad place too. Dongles! @$:*&!

  2. You’re moving SQL databases (or not as the case may be)? Doesn’t that make you a dba: a type of sysadmin ? Let he who is without sin, etc?

micilin, whose network is not set up wrong, and who gets very annoyed when backups don’t work, especially poxy MSSQL ones.

10

“Punters” is the preferred nomenclature.

11

Ha. What it makes me is the only person in a) my company, b) the client’s company or c) the hosting company who knows slightly more that Sod All about SQL Server administration.

Why the client wishes their mission-critical databases to be hosted by people who, in the event of a database error, are qualified only to stare at the screen blankly and scratch themselves, I neither know nor, at this stage, care. It’s been a tough few weeks.