The thread title is pretty clear, I think. Only a madman would bother with the long boring justification. But since more than a few of us are madmen (or madwomen), I’ve put the rules in a spoiler box. You can answer with bothering with that crap, though.
[spoiler]During my latest interdimensional raiding trip, I managed to obtain Sam Beckett’s quantum leap accelerator. Though the QLA works basically the same as seen during the NBC chronicles–that is, the leaper travels through time and speace by exchanging places with a person at the destination, who remains in the accelerator and unconsicous during leap–Sam made a couple of improvements after he finally managed to leap home.* Primarily, he eliminated the swiss-cheese-memory effect; the leaper will now remember everything about his real life. Moreover, the leaper will be able to access to the memories and abilities of whatever person he (or she) is substituting for. The mysterious aura that changes the leaper’s appearance remains. Jump into Gertrude Stein’s body+, and not even Alice B. Toklas will be able to tell the difference.
I couldn’t think of any evil applications for the QLA**, so I haven’t any use for it my ownself. Therefore I am offering free leaps to any Dopers who wants one. As I don’t trust you guys not to screw up the timeline, I’ve set the QLA to send you only to fictional realities. You can’t go back in time to stop our Kennedy from being assassinated, but you can jump into Oliver Stone’s JFK, or that issue of Superboy when the Teen of Steel met the president.
Each leap will last no more than 168 hours. If you get killed while you’re gone, the leap will end and your corpse will be brought back.++
*I am perfectly aware of what the series finale claimed. That was a vicious lie put about by that hot evil leaper chick whose name I just forgot.
+Like anybody would want to.
**Well, none that I couldn’t accomplish quicker and easier with my Burroughs-Libby contiua device, anyway.
++Admittedly I could easily turn on the resurrection option, but I am a bastard. Besides, that would be like playing tennis with the net down
I don’t think you thought that second one all the way through.
Gay is alive. Gay can, at best, just barely stand Lazarus, and from time to time actively hates him. Unless Zeb, Deety, or Hilda is there, Gay’s gonna figure out a way to murder Lazarus and make it look like an accident. As you will seem exactly like Lazarus, you are going to find yourself mysteriously unbuckled during manuevers over Barsoom and dumped out the starboard door.
Also, Athena, unlike Minerva, is not to be trusted.
Also there’s no room to have sex in Gay. No, not even in the refreshers; those are actually in Oz, and there’s no sex in Oz.
Shall I change your reservation for a routine Dora flight, or do you want to risk it?
I’d go with Charlie Harper from Two and a Half Men. I think I could handle a week of anonymous sex in a Malibu beach house. I’d like to go back to the beginning of the series though so my image wouldn’t look quite so haggard and I could use looks as well as money to land all the crazy sex I could dream up.
Of course they will. You’re not exchanging minds with the person you leap into; your body is put in the place of his or her body. There’s a magic field that makes your body seem like his body.
