Well, except for a happy, naked, horny person.
Wanderer, you don’t live in New Jersey do you? Or did you? You sound an awful lot like this guy Pashley on the boards who started 40,000 threads about how lonely he is.
If you’re going to whine and not take people’s suggestions (like volunteering), you’re not going to get a ton of sympathy after a while. As much as it hurts to say, you are the one who will have to change.
Be important to yourself for awhile, don’t feel sorry for yourself. Find some things that excite you and keep yourself busy. Nothing makes women run further than a needy, desperate man.
Dr. Jackson, your excellent addendum well taken.
I would insert a smilie here if I had any idea how.
Our happiness and fulfillment can not depend on other people. The key to happines is freedom and the key to freedom is courage.
After all the posts, all the suggestions in all the threads that you have started about your lonely life, it’s still the same story with you.
What you want is for someone to come in and devote every second of their life to you. You say you have no interests in doing anything really, so why would you expect someone to come into your life and not have any other life. Only you can make you happy and you apparently aren’t willing to do that. No relationship is totally built on every second together. What woman wants to sit and look at a man for 24 hours a day? You evidently don’t or can’t go out, so who ever enters your life will have to be content to sit home all the time and wait on you. Sorry buddy, I wouldn’t put my worst enemy in that position.
And yet you keep complaining.
Wanderer, do I know you? Everytime I see one of your posts, I think how much you remind me of someone who used to go by The Wanderer back in my old (ha ha, 5 years ago) BBS days.
Do you now or have you ever:
answer a tech support line for Windows 95?
live in Salem, OR?
post to the Party Line Northwest board?
been ordained a minister by the Universal Life Church?
practice Wicca?
you know wanderer, i have to agree with the last couple postings, if you have to stop feeling depressed and sad. DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. complaining about it will do you no good whatsoever. take the advice these good people have given you, u like carpentry you say, there might be a group in your community or something, share your works of art with them! or visit your kids or have them visit you, but don’t keep dwelling on being lonely, it will do you no good and nothing will miraculously change if you just sit there and bitch.
depressed? visit the burn ward at your local hospital…also the psychiatric visitors room. You’ll be happy very rapidly.
The older you get, the more in your ways you get. I am 37 and have never been married. I simply wasn’t getting any through most of my 20’s. In my 30’s this has been less of a problem. But having a relationship can take soooooo much of your time. I am an introvert. Not anti-social or shy, I just like time to myself to re-charge. I also like to go out on my own and meet new people, which I do well in social functions.
A close pal of mine has a good marriage. But they have different interests. They have boys/girls nights out seperate from each other often. At parties they mingle seperately, touching base at intervals. I do that with dates at social functions, or prefer to. I know who I am going home with in those situations. I dont totally ignore them either. I will discreetly touch her elbow or pinch her ass to let her know I am there. I have seen couples attached by the hip and they want to make me throw up. Now if it is a new girl, I will get caught up in the excitement of passion. But if she is already my property (or really I am hers) we can have more fun mingling solo.
Sleeping with a girl for me is romantic, but I do not sleep as well as by myself. I suppose over the years that behavior can change.
Wanderer:
Your OP sounds like someone who is clinically depressed.
This will not go away on it’s own. You NEED to see a Dr., any doctor for now, and be evaluated. This condition can practically FORCE you into thinking the way you are now. Give it a try. Really, I know.
Anti-depressants may be the answer. Prozac pulled me through a tough time. But a doctor could answer that for you.
Found the solution. I went to a marriage introduction agency in Bogota, Colombia and met a single, 32 year old woman. We have been married 6 1/2 years now and have a 5 year old son.
Wanderer that is so cool! I was reading your first post and felt so sad for you but what a great ending! Congrats on your happy family!
One might just as well ask how can people not be bothered to use a dictionary? You don’t mean ‘phase’. You mean ‘faze’.
To answer the OP, how you see things is fine for you, and how other people see things is fine for them. It’s okay to have a different outlook. ‘Fulfilling’ is a variable term, just like ‘normal’ and ‘healthy’. I’ve been single all my life and I always will be. It’s fine. Not a problem for me, not a problem for anyone else. Some people in relationships are happy and some are not. Some single people are happy and some are not. Big world, lots of people, lots of options.
Wanderer – thanks for the update, and I’m happy things turned out so well for you – but I’m going to call this nine-year-old thread a zombie and lock it.
twickster, MPSIMS mod (who wasn’t even a member here when this thread last saw the light of day …)