You men

Good God, nothing ever suits you men.

I am one of the few women that actually has the desire NOT to have kids. In addition to that statement I DON’T desire to have a relationship.

That said, why the fark do you men consider every sentence we women have with you to construe as “I wanna have babies and you marry me.”? I place the period and the question mark there for a reason…

I don’t understand this, unless my “fuck buddy” has no desire to pursue the basics of a friendship. His soul purpose to me now seems to be for the fuck and not to include the friendship we have culitvated over 5 years.

I never, ever asked him for more than this, but he seems hell bent on creating issues that I never bring up. I prefer to have a non-committed relatonship with this man.

Could it be he really thinks otherwise or could it be that he’s so freaking scared to death that he’s willing to risk a friendship over this?

I don’t get it one bit…

hope I made sense, I am tired and need to go to bed but you men sure as hell confuse me. You think us woman are confusing, but sheesh, :rolling eyes:

BTW, it’s been a year and half since we first did the “nasty.” so nothing much has changed for me, but what’s up with him…

Knowing my luck he’s reading this…

hmm, thats strange. ive never got that feeling from anyone i met. maybe i need to meet some new people;
or maybe there’s something wrong with me that i didnt realize
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Chief’s Domain - http://www.seas.ucla.edu/~ravi

Hey Techchick!
how you doing?
sounds to me like the guy is scared that he might have to face up to a relationship someday. I know you dont want to, but maybe he is starting to feel more for you than he did before and dosent want to confront these thoughts. It may not be the case of you not wanting a relationship, but more of him being scared of a relationship. how long has he been acting like this?

until then, take care of your self, and each other
*And Cut!its a wrap Jerry, good show!!!
sorry, did I get carried away?


J

“Cast a cold Eye, On Life, On Death, Horseman, ride by”
W.B. Yeats

Well, you might have made sense in the OP, but I still want to know more. Your buddy construed something you said as meaning that you desire to have babies…? Why would this mean that he was scared and was willing to risk the relationship?

I also don’t really know what you mean by not wanting to have a relationship. You have had sex with this guy for a year and a half, and have been friends with him for five years. Sounds like a relationship to me. But maybe there is something else you mean by “relationship”…

Let me paraphrase, and you can correct me if I’m misconstrued you: this gent is seemingly reluctant to have a friendship with you because he suspects that you secretly want to have babies with him. Is that right?


Any similarity in the above text to an English word or phrase is purely coincidental.

Wait a minute: how did I get grouped into this generalization?

Examples would help: how did some of these conversations go?

My last boss told me point blank that she wants to have a baby. At a company social function just before I was laid off, she grabbed a one-year-old girl, brought her over to me, and kept cooing about how cute she was. Is your friend getting this kind of pressure elsewhere, and projecting onto you?

Maybe you should talk with him about this. Or write, if he won’t talk about it.

So, John Rush, was it normal at that company to have sex with your boss?

In other words: what do you mean, exactly? Did you have a relationship with your boss?

Techchick: if both of you know that the relationship is mainly physical, and he keeps bringing up stuff about commitment and babies and marriage and what not, there is also another possibility: he might actually want those things. Remember: you didn’t bring them up, HE did.

Coldfire


"You know how complex women are"

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

Hmmm, is there a smily to indicate lacsivious drooling?

No, it never reached that point. I got laid off, she got transfered out of town.

And I think it’s bad policy to date where you work.

My point was, if TC68’s friend was subjected to similar pressure, that may help explain his behavior toward her. But without knowing, that’s just speculation.

Kill him.

Kill him now, before this goes any further.

You’ll thank me later.

techie –

People change. Their feelings, wants, goals don’t stay the same forever. Your post kind of alludes to the fact that this has been going on for quite some time. Maybe he’s starting to feel like your relationship needs to progress to some other level. If * you * don’t feel that way, you’d better talk to him about it.

Maybe he will say, “OK, I’ll just be happy with what we have, then.” Maybe he will say, “Sorry, but I’m afraid I can’t keep doing that. I need more.” But I can almost guarantee you the whole friendship will go in the dumper fer sher if the issue isn’t addressed.

There was a time in my life when having FWF (friends who fuck) relationships with women was just fine and dandy with me. Not sure it would be now.


“You should tell the truth, expose the lies and live in the moment.” - Bill Hicks

techchick, that’s kinda weird thing to say when your bio itself reads:

“good food, good music and a good dose of romance (in that order)…”

Romance kinda implies a relationship, right?

Hey techchick:
I’m not a man, but I thought this was really interesting. I think sometimes we women assume that all or most men have as their ultimate fantasy a sex partner/friend with no strings attached. I guess we’re sort of fed this image a lot. I remember being honestly shocked to meet men who weren’t interested in that type of thing. Maybe your friend was and now realizes that he’d really like more? Maybe he’s a little confused, too, that he’s not living up (or down?) to the image of the anti-commitment male.
I’d definitely talk to him about this, but I’d bet that you all will either have to stop being friends, or at the least, go back to being non-sexual friends.

Good luck!

techchick68–
from the sound of it, i think i’ve been exactly where you are now; its funny how people can project all sorts of attitudes onto one another. maybe he’ll actually hear and believe what you’re saying, but if he’s not too bright and/or dealing with some weird mommy/virgin/whore issues, i wouldn’t hold my breath.
do you have another “fb” waiting in the wings?-- 'cause that might be the cure.


the hog squeal of the universe is coming from my modem!

you men???

Show some respect as you wield your sword and fight blindly in the neverending “battle of the sexes” please.

Not all men are quick to put up their shields to the word “marriage” whether you mention the word or not.

Maybe you chose the wrong man to have a “friends that fuck” relationship.

That should be included in my stupid postings list, lets see how many stupid postings I can create!

:scratching head:

Maybe I should go over to the BBQ Pit and flame myself for a while < giggle >

I guess my concern over this whole issue is, he seems to conflict himself a lot, as I probably do to.

The funny thing is, if we headed further into the relationship (outside of our friendship) we’d probably end up kiling each other (we are both VERY opinionated.)

'Spose I should get on the horn and talk to him.

Wish I could help, but I’m not much of a fan of the fuck-buddy relationship. For me, having sex sorta moves the whole shebang out of “buddy” and into “romance.” So my insights on why this would initially be OK and now is not are probably less than trenchant.

  • Rick

Suppose actually that you found your perfect mate. You love him enough to be friends 5 years and have sex, and hate him enough to want to get rid of him permanently. Sounds like marriage minus a ring. Give it a chance, at least then you can sever the ties if it doesnt work and end the friendship too, much less messy that way. Getting another FB and keeping him by as a friend who will of course learn of his replacment is evil, bad, cruel. Bad Kharma haunts those that hurt others. :smiley:


"When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him. "
Jonathan Swift

Tech, then why are you allowing him to have sex with you???

Let me hit myself on the head with a hammer while I ponder this.

Quit generalizing a population of three billion people, you crazy skirt.


Marge: Your father is… resting.
Bart: “Resting” hung over? “Resting” got fired? Help me out here.