You might be a Nazi if...

You drive a frickin panzer baby!

…you berate geese for improper goose stepping.

…you eat Chinese food and a half hour later you’re hungry for power.

…comic books confuse you because you keep thinking the minions wearing skulls on their uniforms are the good guys.

…when you hear that Ben Grimm aka the Thing of the Fantastic Four is Jewish, your reaction is “Of course! Just look at him!”

…you eat Chinese people, and you want more a half hour later.

… you have absolutely no sense of humor whatsoever.

:stuck_out_tongue:
… you click your boot heels when you hail a taxi.
… you have a bumper sticker that says “My other Panzer is a Königstiger”.
… you have a jar full of quarters next to a jar full of dental fillings.
… you think Eva Braun was hawt.

You’re not a fan of Catholic priests, but gee, that Charles Coughlin makes some good points!

…you think Glenn Beck makes sense.
…you think Michelle Bachman makes sense.
…you think Sarah. . . .ah, fuck it. Just see **Curtis LeMay’s **polling list.

… you enjoyed your vacation in Argentina so much you decided to move there permanently.
… the Mossad ended your Argentinian vacation early by kidnapping you off the street.
… you haf vays of making people talk!

… You look in the mirror and can’t see your own hair and eye color.

…whenever you watch a wildlife documentary on the child rearing habits of raptors, you become nostalgic for the Kehlsteinhaus.

…whenever the best player on your favourite sports team is traded you deliver a three minute tirade about disloyal generals that ends with you sobbing into your hands.

You like to paint tranquil landscape pictures and play with Mickey Mouse figurines to help relax after a hard day of genocide.

Germans can invent the modern automobile but they can’t come up with a good stomach gas remedy? What the hell is that all about? Have some scientists killed for this cockup.

That they say Germans have no sense of humor is joke #1!!!

Those aren’t swstikas in my house decor, I just really love Native American art.

Why do I keep losing money on sports betting? Your average German should be able to beat any black runner or basketball player. Gas the coaching staff again.

It’s the “again” that really makes this one work. :smiley:

… that ends up as a YouTube meme …

… the company you work for is having a bad year. You suggest to some co-workers that now would be a good time to kill the board of directors and sieze power.

…you demand to march over and seize the factory next door. “No one will dare stop us!”

… your papers are in order.
… you dressed in black long before the Goth kids did.
… you don’t look half bad in lederhosen.
… you think Pat Buchanan is a pussy.
… you have never worn a yarmulke.
… you have already planned the kidnapping and torture of Mel Brooks.
… as with any good Aryan, you’re tall like Goebbels, thin like Goering, and blonde like Hitler.

you beat me to it

He’s a Nazi and a Ninja.

…the Boys from Brazil are not the gay couple next door.
…the sight of twins makes you salivate.