You might be a redneck if . . .

The BBQ Pit
1

. . . you MUST warm up your truck for half an hour in the driveway every morning. I mean, maybe I’m missing something. I know I’m ignorant about cars and engines and stuff, but is there something inherently faulty about a diesel truck engine that one must leave the truck running for THIRTY minutes or so before getting in and driving away? Every morning at 5:30 a.m., the guy across the street gets into his truck, starts it up, then goes back into the house (maybe to take a dump or start a leisurely breakfast), then comes back out at 6:00 a.m. to gun it good before driving off. And he’s not unique! There has been at least one clown like this on every block where we have lived.

Is there something I don’t know? Do diesel trucks explode if you drive them without a half-hour warmup? Jeeez!

2

Why do you keep moving into these redneck neighborhoods? I think you’re asking for it, there, pug person.
(I like pugs, too.)

3

I don’t know. But I’d like to know why they find it necessary to sit in their diesel trucks and blat the horn on an otherwise quiet Sunday afternoon.

4

I’d also like to know why that bastard has to stop his diesel truck right under my window every thursday morning at 5am and sit there for a FULL HOUR while my room fills with diesel excrement.