What is the single most disgusting thing you put in your mouth?
Or, if you’re feeling really adventurous, what are the top few most disgusting things you’ve ever put in your mouth?
I expect a lot of answers will be “Penis” or “Vagina,” and you’re welcome to include that if you really think it’s disgusting, but I was thinking more along the lines of “Once, when I was sleep, the baby dropped his open, dirty diaper in my mouth,” or something humorous. I was reading another thread (Which one? Donno), and this idea popped into my head.
A large cup of chew spit is probably the worst, but the thing that has scarred me the most was waking up with a large hair ball in my mouth like something that could be pulled from a women’s comb
About ten years ago, Mr. S toddled off to work one morning, leaving me snoozing in bed for another hour. Before he left, he released our two-month-old springer spaniel, Miss Phyllis, from the crate where she slept to snuggle on the bed with me.
So there I lay, half asleep, on my back. I stretched my arms wide as I opened my mouth (eyes closed) for a huge yawn. Curious Phyllis decided to see what was going on in there and stuck her entire snout in my mouth.
Bleargh!! Ptui ptui!
I decided it was time to get up. And brush my teeth rather thoroughly.
Phyllis is 10 now and still likes to play kissing bandit, but she’s never repeated that little trick. She may occasionally slip us the tongue, but never the whole snoot.
I didn’t put it into my mouth personally, but I paid handsomely for the experience, so that should count…
A gold crown that has never fit properly. It just feels oversized and annoying - filing down the top helped a lot. (Darned if I know why Dremel tools have a warning against using them for dental work…)
I’m almost looking forward to the day when the tooth stump it’s cemented to cracks off. The dentist was not hearing any of it - his work was perfect and immaculate and I just had to get used to it. Well, 11 years later, I’m not used to it.
Back in the 90’s my girlfriend at the time and I like to smoke weed. Lots of weed.
So one year she was interviewing for corporate jobs and one night she wanted to smoke but she was worried that her new employer would require a drug test. So I had the bright idea that she should pee into a bottle now, and if the test came around she could use the preserved clean pee. Time passed and she got the job and there was no piss testing.
A few months later I got the flu, or a very nasty cold anyway. Rummaging in the bathroom cabinets I found what seemed to be a full bottle of NyQuil. So I took a big swig. Maybe not the most disgusting thing I ever put in my mouth, but months old piss has a taste that I will never quite forget.
Well, I’m having trouble deciding between two things.
Once in my college dorm’s TV room, I set my can of Coke on the floor beside me, and later when I picked it up to take a drink, I got a mouthful of Coke and ants. That was pretty bad.
But sea urchin might have been worse. I really can’t decide.
Not me personally but when a girlfriend and I were first dating, she went to use my bathroom. I had a big bottle of liquid soap in there - the kind that is meant to be a refill bottle for the little hand-pump dispensers. But as a scruffy bachelor I didn’t care and was using it for my counter soap.
Anyway it was dark and I guess she didn’t bother turning on the light but just went for it thinking it was mouthwash.
Yeah.
The hilarious part was that she didn’t tell me until almost a year later because she was so embarrassed! I thought that was adorable and of course teased her relentlessly about it from that point on (OK, not relentlessly, but a few times).
I went to survival camp once. The only food we could catch was a large turtle and an armadillo. I thought the turtle boiled in stagnant pond water was about as bad as it could get until I tasted roasted armadillo on the half shell. That was one vomit inducing ball of pure prehistoric leprosy joy I will tell you. You just can’t smoke those things long enough to make their hairy bellies tasty.
In a college biology lab, they had a limited budget, I gather, because we rarely got to use the neat automatic pipetting handheld devices. For anything that wasn’t lethal or close to it, we had to mouth-pipette. It’s like siphoning something except using just a short glass tube with a thin tip, and you definitely did not want the fluid jetting out the other end. Suck gently, then put your finger over the tip to hold the fluid in, and transfer it to the new container.
As you might guess, this occasionally led to undesirable things being sucked into your mouth. In my case, it was formaldehyde and pureed mouse bits. (I don’t remember the specific bit, but some sort of organ, possibly brain.) Yuck.
That was way worse than the orange oil and glycerin facial cleanser that I, minus my glasses, mistook for our toothpaste. See, both were in toothpaste-style tubes, and both were orange in color. The cleanser was surprisingly bland soap-wise, and tasted of orange peel and … I dunno, closer to a blah lip balm than soap.
And yes, I love just about every type of sushi I’ve ever tried. But not uni.