You Really Can't Go Home Again

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I have recently relocated to my hometown (San Antonio, TX) after 20+ years of being away, due to military obligations and life matters, and what not. I relocated due to the poor health of my mother, as now she needs help with day-to-day stuff. I drive her to the doctors, shopping and what not. I do what I can. I don’t live with her. I have my own apartment, but I do what can to help her when she calls (and she calls at least 3 times a day, mostly to gripe about her neighbors). They all know I’m back in town (because I grew up here, re-introductions, and there was much celebration, as they know who I am), and I let them know I’m doing what I can but I can’t stop my mother from griping. (I went to high school with her postal carrier, so she knows I take care of her now. We’ve talked, and she will alert me if anything goes too far south with her condition).

I didn’t want to do this in the first place, but Mother said she needed help (she had her third stroke in December), so I pulled the trigger and “came home” to help out, because my other family members aren’t or can’t or won’t be able to assist her because they’re too busy (don’t get me started on that conversation). While I’m actually okay with this, the fact that I am now once again in my hometown where I grew up is amazing. Things have changed so much. I am not afraid of progress, but wow… this place has changed so much. It’s not only the physical city (population growth, advanced retail, tourism and what not), but also the people. And the attitude. This is not the place I grew up. People are impatient, things are faster, and well, everything. Tattoos, rudeness, and “PAY ATTENTION TO ME” type of attitude. RIGHT NOW! DAMMIT! We even have a Sea World Park!

Granted, I’m not a rube. I have relocated from Washington, DC, so it’s not like I’ve been living in the sticks. I lived through 9/11 and the DC sniper episodes, as well as being a military veteran, so I’m not exactly a fluffy bunny fresh out of the woods living in the big city for the first time.

Not only in my “hometown”, but did I miss the memo as to when folks got this uppity? Or is it just Texans? The Texas I grew up in wasn’t like this when I grew up. Or was it? I would like to think I’m actually a pretty polite person, with social graces and proper manners, but these folks… well, they ain’t that at all.

2

There are some areas that experience rapid change as a consequence of rapid growth/immigration. But more often, it’s that we had an overly rosy view of the place back when we lived there. For example, people have been saying that kids are getting ruder every generation… for *centuries. *But they’re not. More often, it’s that *we *have changed. Or it could be a combination of both.

3

I’ve encountered this myself.

13 years ago my wife and I moved away from my hometown due a new job. We were both made redundant on the same day and fate decreed that the best job that came along was at the other end of the country.

Now this is the UK so the other end of the country is a 6 hour car ride away but is far enough ensure we don’t have any family around us nor too much contact with our old area.

Sure enough, when we make our infrequent trips back to our birthplaces we find ourselves lamenting how much things have changed for the worse. More shops are closing, the weather seems greyer, bleaker. the people we grew up with seem lacking in ambition, narrow minded. Still doing the same things and going to the same places that they did all those years before. Stuck in a time-warp with all around them slowly decaying and not the power nor motivation to change their situation.

And how arrogant does that make me sound? I have to catch myself because that’s my family and I love them dearly and it is wrong of me to belittle their choices. Fact is, I have just found a place and a lifestyle that suits me better. I am lucky that my wife feels the same. We would hate to “go back” because at heart it was never really our home in the first place and we were very fortunate to have been given a push at the right time. Had that not happened we would probably have remained there, pulling in the money and being miserable.

I’m not sure any of that illuminates your experiences but I offer it as anecdote. The place was probably always somewhat like that and the moment that I gained a bit of perspective through distance I was able to see how ill-suited I was to that area and lifestyle. So I don’t think I changed, I don’t think my home town changed, I merely discarded the blinkers I had worn for 30 years.

4

I’m in a similar situation, but I live with my mother (Parkinson’s/Dementia)

She went into Respite for the first time ever last year and I was able to get out and about - instead of only being able to go as far as the nearest shop/yard where I keep my horse (which is a 5 min drive away).

I went out whest to where my maternal family live/are from, and where we spent our summer holidays during the 70s and 80s. The place hasn’t changed much other than some asses thinking “Great place to build two housing estates” - both of them are at 2~5% occupancy…

The hotel near the beach has been extended and doesn’t look like it used to, the chalets surrounding it are no longer wooden shacks. You can’t go down the path we used to use to go passed the hotel to get to the beach any more.

The area where you used to be able to walk right up to the edge of the cliff has been turned into a tourist thing with a [very nice] café, a gift shop and an interactive thing telling you about the area and the lighthouses and whatnot. Costs €6 to get in there. Made me sad to think I’d have to pay to get to the spot where I used to lie and take photos of the sea crashing against the rocks.

The other thing that upset me was my cousin treating me like dirt. Apparently she’d oblivious to the notion that I have to mind my mother 24/7 and can’t get in the car and drive somewhere on a whim. Mother never wants to go anywhere as she’s too tired, or in too much [faux] pain with something unrelated to her medical condition, or just plain doesn’t want to go anywhere.

There are a lot of holiday homes dotted around that never used to be there as well as the houses belonging to cousins who’ve married and had kids in the decade since I last went out there.

5

Corcaigh**** are you talking bout co. Clare?

6

If you were, OMG you’d be SO CUTE!

:smiley:

7

Probably a combination of your rosy view of how you perceived Texas to be and how it actually was + the rapid growth of Texas in the past couple of decades.

Apparently us northerners aren’t as big on the whole manners thing…:stuck_out_tongue:

8

Reminds of this:

Because I know that time is always time
And place is always and only place
And what is actual is actual only for one time
And only for one place

TS Eliot, Ash Wednesday