Someone, a romantic interest of sorts, has just characterized me thusly:
No matter how I try and parse this, I just can’t see this as a negative attribute.
I think Homer Simpson summed it up best: “Just because I don’t care, doesn’t mean I don’t understand.”
Of course I kid. It’s not that I don’t care about things, I just don’t get all emotional about most of them.
Maybe it’s a male thing. It’s definitely something I inherited from my father who is a rock in a crisis. I’d always thought this an admirable quality. Clearly, she thinks otherwise.
What have you been accused of that you simply don’t consider as a negative?
Essentially the same thing as you. Lots of people I know call me unemotional, apathetic, etc…Like you, I consider it a positive. Why get bogged down in heavy emotions? That’s not to say I don’t have any, it just takes more of whatever influence might make someone else to get emotional to do it for me. Which isn’t to say most of the time I’m some kind of zombie, far from it. I am actually quite easy to make happy, cause it’s less of an emotion and more of a state of mind. It’s really just things like love, anger, sadness, and other more powerful emotions that are hard for me to react to.
Oh, and also, you say sexual deviant like it’s a bad thing.
I don’t think anyone would call me stonefaced or unemotive, but I have gotten “unfazed” and even “complacent” a lot, because, well, I just don’t get worked up by things. I don’t hold grudges, I don’t anger quickly, I forgive easily… And yes, they say it like it’s a bad thing. Me? I can’t imagine wanting it any other way.
I offer a contrast to what’s been said here. I am quick-tempered and show emotion easily. Always have been, always will be. I don’t see anything wrong with that, either.
I am not quick-tempered but I do let my emotions show. I think those are two different things.
There is also a difference between being overly emotional and simply sharing your emotions with other people.
The ability to remain calm during a crisis is a great attribute, IMO.
But not showing any type of emotion in a relationship is not. I tried to date a guy like this once and it was like trying to warm up to a tree stump. It was like getting nothing in return because he was so closed off. I never could really tell how he felt about me or if he was even happy or unhappy. Ultimately it was totally unsatisfying for me— mentally, emotionally, and even physically. Maybe that is the concern of your “sort-of romantic interest,” QuickSilver.
People have told me I have too many interests, like that’s a bad thing. I never really understood that or why anyone would bother to be bothered by it.
I suspect others will chime in with this one, but I’ve often been ‘accused’ of being weird, random, silly. Guilty as charged, I guess-- I like it better that way. I once lived with some people for a few weeks whose idea of a conversation was strictly regimented and linear and if you ever mentioned something on a different topic than the one they were discussing, they’d be utterly dumbfounded and give you a look like “you so crazy!”.
I happen to like weird. I’d rather talk to someone silly than to someone who was “normal” and boring. I’m seen as the oddball in my office, but that just makes me all the more popular at workplace gatherings.
I’ve been accused of not having empathy towards others because I don’t get sad at a local news story of a girl being mauled by some animal at the zoo. This has led to being called intolerant and narrow-minded.
I don’t know if my indifference to the unfortunate plight of someone I don’t know, nor will I ever likely meet, means I’m narrow-minded, but I can agree with the lack of empathy part. I just don’t see it as a hindrance.
I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing, but it may just indicate that you and she aren’t compatible. Some people are only comfortable if they can be sure of exactly how their partner thinks and feels. I’m kind of like that. I wouldn’t be comfortable with someone I couldn’t read.
I always feel like very un-readable, non-emotive people are silently judging me or somehow think they are better than me. I have no idea why this is, probably because I always feel like people are judging me. But that’s my problem rather than theirs.
I get, “You’re so quiet” way too often. Yes, I am a person who doesn’t flap their gums just to hear the sound of their own voice. I speak up when I have something to say (I am by no means shy); I keep my trap shut when I don’t. This is not a negative trait.
I have also discovered fairly recently that I don’t think like most people. So what? Who would want to? Most people are sloppy, lazy thinkers who are frightened of anything other than what they are used to.
I get “you’re WEIRD” a lot. (although usually in good humor. In a “but that’s why we still let you hang out with us” way)
also, “my god, you’re thin,” and “you’ve lost a LOT of weight!” which come in many tones (“eat a sandwich!” tone, “honey, get help” tone, and “wow, I’m jealous” tone among others.) Depending on my mood my reaction is either, “I’m sorry!!” “I’m not thin. I know I’m a fatass. shut up and quit teasing me.” “I know. shut up.” or “wow, really? thanks!”
or online, I get a good bit of, “you’re fourteen? I thought you were a lot older!”
Same here. I don’t understand why constantly chattering makes one a better person.
I also get people complaining about how I can’t hide my feelings about others, i.e. if I dislike a person, he’ll* know it. I’m not mean; I just kinda ignore the person or talk to him as little as possible. I only talk to him when answering a direct question. And I get all sorts of crap for this. I just think it’s better than pretending to be his friend and then being mean behind his back.
*He in the single person sense, not the male type of person sense.
I’d rather talk to someone silly than to someone who was “normal” and boring. I’m seen as the oddball in my office, but that just makes me all the more popular at workplace gatherings.