maker of useful hemp products
free grandmotherly babysitting services
Oh, what? Did I tell you about my hemp plants?
I am more one of the Rebuilders. I am a skilled electrician, probably capable of getting a coal power plant operational, carpenter, little bit of a driveway mechanic, but it would have to be on cars with carburetors, rebuild small mechanical things, maker of clever little toys, boat builder, sailor, fixer of gadgets, builder and programmer of computers, experienced father, cat herder, HVAC mechanic* and great at organizing work parties of volunteers. Heck, I can even sew pretty well.
I am also ex-military but without any gun skills. I could relearn the Bow. I will be happy to test the beer in off hours.
Give me a large shop and some help, and I will be a part of getting civilization back running.
Jim
*Chill Water, Steam and Hot Water, no skill with Freon systems.
I’ll nominate What Exit as Chief Engineer. Maybe he could rig up some lighting and such for a military research project I have in mind for Zoe…
Ah, excellent Laddie, I will begin practicing my bad Scottish Accent.
I am yours, O Mighty One. To take a bullet (arrow, rock, fist, whatever) for you would be my honor.
dons wraparound sunglasses and practices the Intimidating Glare™
In a similarly themed thread, I earned a place on the escape pod before the metor hits on the grounds of my amazing blow jobs. And was immediatly promoted to officer class. So I assume I’ll be tribal queen in a week (as soon as I sneak up behind Pundit Lisa and hit her with a rock.)
(Just kidding, Lisa. We can rule together.)
I’m an excellent cook, and I’m pretty sure I could skin a squirrel as pictured explicitly on page 515 of the 1975 revision of The Joy of Cooking, and sadly absent from later revisions. Also, I know how to please a man (in ways that don’t require me to repopulate the earth).
I’m afraid, as Imperial Bodyguard, I’d have to prevent you from harming PunditLisa, on the grounds that damage to her might prevent her from, um, contributing to my boss’s well-being. You understand, I’m sure.
Ah, well, that’s ok then. Carry on! resumes position in the corner
-I’m good with children and willing to mind all of them by day, thus freeing both parents for other tasks. That means all the women of reproductive age (I suppose that includes me) can just go ahead and be usefull.
-I can make something edible from just about anything.
-I’m good at crafting things, and a fast learner, so you’ll have an additional hand at whichever crafts we manage to save.
-I can identify many edible plants and berries.
-I’ve decent aim, and excelent hand-eye coordination. I’m fairly certain I could learn to shoot straight with some practice.
-I’m good at finding things, for some reason.
-I know any number of stories, fairy tales, legends and myths. I also have the imagination to make them up on the spot. If we’re going all tribal, we need a myhtology, right.
-I know where we can find an immense suply of laboratory alcohol. Also, liquid nitrogen (no idea for what, but I know where it is). Also fifteen suits of plate armour. We might need to conquer neighbouring tribes. Or something.
So, can I stay?
Ladies! there’s surely room for both of you. If we absolutely have to choose, then it must be done fairly - some kind of audition or championship.
I thought that harem managers usually lost their packages …
Me, I’m an economist you do need an economist don’t you …?
What no music? Who’s gonna entertain you in all that post-apocalyptic surviving? I can, because I can make willow flutes, and probably get some squiky sounds from them too. So you can all research stuff, blow some jobs, skin some animals and so on with the squiky sounds of flutes in the background. Wheeee!
The band seems short of the diplomatic types, while I have a good mechanical instinct for building / problem solving and broad general knowledge, I’d be more useful as a diplomat. Not just because of my people skills, or even my expert ability to communicate without a common language, but because I lack any and all morals when they don’t suit me. Explotation? I’m your man!
I can take care of the brats, I mean, kids, from age “just got pushed out” to “too large for me to carry one-handed”.
The ones I took care of have ended up with an unusually high percentage of enginerds and doctors, but I don’t think it’s contagious and in several cases it can be linked to genetic causes.
I have some good ideas about water filtration and sanitation. I figure that with enough chalk, fires, sand and gravel I can rediscover concrete at least to Roman standards. I have read Janissaries and logged many, many hours at Medieval: Total War and can certainly advise on primitive military strategy and tactics. I have enough smarts to stockpile pencils and paper and write down log and trig tables before the calculator stops working. I have a certain curiosity about ballistae, catapults and trebuchets. So one way and another I figure we can see to it that our tribe punches well above its weight.
I can ferment wine or brew beer and have quite the collection of glassware. I can teach mathematics to a better-than-fair standard and tell stories by the fire. You can rotate one or two of those childbearing women in my direction as I have a proven record of successfully breeding sons of above average stature.
(And I nominate Septima for the important post of Head Berry Picker.)
Well, I grew up in the forest (…a house within the forest), and at the time could walk near animals without them running away. Assuming I still had that skill, I’d probably be pretty good as a hunter.
Mostly, I’m just good at rigging up things to get a result that I want out of it. I couldn’t make a radio, but if I wanted to make a mill, a fence, a trap, or whatever, I could probably figure out a way to do it with whatever was available.
So I wouldn’t be the most useful, nor the best, but I like to think that I’d be more towards the top in terms of being useful. And certainly more towards the top in terms of not being an overall drag.
As an EMT, I’ll be over in the Medical Tent with Stuffy and JustAnotherGeek. I’d like to learn more about this “rootin’ around” technique. 
You have some good ones here. I have hopes of **Brain Glutton ** getting us the formula for concrete from books but we still need someone to experiment with the mixtures using the available materials.
I forgot to mention, I have built working scale model trebuchets. I am sure I could scale up with some experimentation. If it comes to it, I could design a wooden fort and then start work on a stone castle.
Jim
I think you’re too forgetful for this mission.
Me, I can spot a mistake in a page of text in seconds. That’s useful, right?
Hmmm, let’s see.
Extensive carpentry skills, with a lot of crossover of electric, plumbing, general skills.
Worked horses, dogs. Have to include a little rustic doctoring abilities with that, beyond just the training.
Excellent fisher.
Good breeding stock, 5 genetically perfect children with uncomplicated labors and births.
Nice ass.