You want to join my band of post-apocalyptic survivors, prove your worth!

Hmm… I have some skill at medieval weapons (swords, polearms, etc…) and fencing.
However… I’m a pacifist… so… maybe I can train others?
Bullets have to run out sometime.

Another hunter/fisherman/brewer. I know how to gut & clean as well as how to cook what I gut & clean, and I have the equipment to do it all.

I’m OK with electrical stuff, better with mechanical/carpentry stuff.

I know basic BSA skills (a lot comes back when your kid is in it) and I know some edible local plants.

I have full and current out-door camping/survival gear, bags, tents, clothes, boots, tarps, related misc equipment, including hand-cranked generator, hand-cranked lantern, and hand-cranked flashlights, hand-crank radios, rechargeable 2-ways, flints, knives, etc

I have the tools to do the electrical/mechanical carpentry work, and I have some how-to manuals for things I’m rusty at. Full workbench of nails, screws nuts & bolts that I’ve stripped off appliances/stuff I’ve thrown out over the years. I have 3 toolboxes that I could fill if I had to move 'em.

I’m a good enough shot to keep my stuff too. :smiley:

Argent Towers, at your service!

[puts spoke- on the list]

Ah…such faith. My first act as Maximum Proconsul is to appoint Oakminster as Supreme Viceroy. He can be Jackson to my Lee, Colingwood to my Nelson (only, you know, without either of us getting kilt in the process). Don’t worry…Cincinnatus will be my inspiration. Or was that Incitatus?

Anyway, we shall secure a defensible area against the mutants, winning over the survivors with our cunning, mercy and fashion sense. And Uzis. Sunrazor, jjimm and Bear_Nenno can design the propaganda campaign and cool post-apocalyptic outfits. JustAnotherGeek is hereby appointed Lance Triumphant, field commander of our Forces of Goodness and Rightness. First order of business…brew more beer. Conquering a radioactive wasteland is thirsty business!

I’m very mechanicaly inclined. I’m good with most trades, carpentry, cabinetry, plumbing, electrical, roofing, automechanics etc.

I drill wells and get water from them for a living.

I have very good outdoor skills and can survive for a while on my own.

Ive been told I’m a heartless bastered a couple times I’m sure that can prove usefull.

I can play guitar (assuming there are any intact). Without any access to recorded music, I would think that live music will again come to the forefront.

SO SAY WE ALL!

First, I’m female and of childbearing age. As long as I can give the kids to someone else to actually raise, I’m ok with having them.
Then, hell, I’m a librarian. I can find information (sure, it’d be in books, but it would still be there) and I can classify and catalog the hell out of anything that comes along.

Otherwise, me? Fairly useless. But, hey, I’m a delight to be around!

Will you be needing any healthcare business analysts? No? Well, then, how about someone who can type upwards of 60 words a minute? No? How about if I volunteer to answer the phones: “Post-apocalyptic band, this is Sal speaking, how may I help you?” No? Um, telemarketing? No? Let’s see, I know a little Esperanto…

Drat.

My blow jobs are legendary.

And if one of my burly bandmates will fetch some firewood and some matches, I can build a rip roaring fire.

I am an awesome fishergal as well as a good cook. I can whip up a meal out of just about anything. I’m also a gal of reproductive age.

I did once try to grow a vegetable garden without success though. That was scary for all involved.

I can also train parrots. Can you imagine an army of attack parrots???

You can be on my team. :wink:

PunditLisa must be in our roving band.

I suspect we’ll have no problems reaching a consensus on this matter.

So say we all!

hm…legendary, huh?

Sorry, my mind is wandering…

Re: Women of reproductive age:

Looks like we won’t have any difficulty keeping the solar-heated houses warm even when it’s cloudy… :smiley: (They can capture and store heat from any source, really.)

  • I know how to make (and have practiced making) concrete. Great stuff for keeping those stone-age marauders out of your personal space, damming streams or mighty rivers, and other useful activities.

  • I can throw axes, knives, spikes, and other bladed/pointy objects with a high degree of accuracy. I teach this skill for six weeks every summer, and upon request all year round (it’s FUN!).

  • Fish love me, and will throw themselves upon my hook with suicidal glee. Other fishermen give me dark looks when I catch my limit and leave while they’re still waiting for a bite.

  • I have learned, but not mastered, the principles of blacksmithing. At the very least, I can pump the bellows correctly.

  • I have raised chickens, rabbits, and goats. I know how to butcher all of them. I can also castrate and butcher a hog, but I have only the most basic of ideas on keeping one alive (ie, I can hurl slop and rake muck, but that’s about it).

  • I am a decent shot with a rifle, but absolutely amazing when it comes to split-second snap shots with a pistol (and not bad at clay pigeons with a shotgun). Therefore, I think I’d be better suited as a guard than as a hunter for our theoretical community. I have tested this skill against a human target with a paintball pistol, and against bobbing targets with a 9mm.

  • I am large and have been told by more than a few people that I look like a rapist. Thus, I think I’d make a good bodyguard-slash-intimidating-enforcer-type. I like wearing shades, so this isn’t a bad thing for me.

  • I can start fires by rubbing two dry Boy Scouts together. If that doesn’t work, I can also recognize flint and I assume that there will be plenty of scrap steel (or iron, or iron pyrite, or…) lying around after the Apocalypse. I routinely light my BBQ in this fashion.

  • I have stitched my own wounds. 'nuff said.

  • I can pick locks. It would probably be faster to just smash the windows on the abandoned store that houses our much-needed supplies, but assuming it hasn’t been looted already and is otherwise secure, this may come in handy.

  • I can whittle cooking and eating utensils out of scrap wood. My favorite example of this is still hanging on my wall - a spatula I created to replace the one I’d forgotten when going camping. The eggs-over-easy were perfect.

  • I can follow directions… completely.

Unfortunately, I do not know how to brew beer, I am not a female (nor do I have the Legendary Blowjob talent), and I do not have access to my own personal stockpile of firearms (though hand-crafted bladed weapons might be in the offing), so it may be a moot point. I might be better off as dinner.

No problem. We have plenty of brewers, PunditLisa has already been accepted by acclamation, I have enough firearms to equip the Peruvian Army, and blades are fun. How would you like a job as Imperial Bodyguard? Sort of a post-apocalyptic Varangian?

Based on my recent experience with power outages in the freezing cold I came to the conclusion that I would be amongst the first volunteers to be eaten at the Donner party of 81. So, I guess my contribution to the band of post-a’s would be my chubby pink body. Bon apitete.

I can also do calculus.