Ah, she decided to go the old “I’m the lynchpin in the operation, you’ll be sorry” route. Excellent. That’s one of my favorites. BTW, your HR person sounds top notch.
IMHO, lunch should be mandated, and everyone should chip in to treat you and Mike. I know I would.
After reading the Joan termination, I very much fear that Mama Tiger’s prediction will not come to pass.
I foresee a lot of surreptitious phone calls to former co-workers, trying to find out how badly the place is falling apart.
I think you did everything by the book, you gave her lots of chances, and now she will be someone else’s headache.
WOW! ::lights cyber ciggie and leans back on pillows::
Someone here once said his father told him, “Remember, you didn’t fire them. They fired themselves. You just filled out the paperwork.”
I’d love some feedback from the other employees.
That should have said: Totally bad form Joan
Joan needs some meds.
Holy. Shit.
Thank you for all the time you’ve spent detailing the situation; it’s provided countless of us with hours of entertainment (and anticipation!)
You and Mike deserve medals for not cracking up, pointing and laughing, or resorting to “shut the fuck up, you psychotic bitch!”
Despite how easy the decision really was, this was no doubt a difficult thing to do, and were it me I would have been up most of last night fretting about how it was going to go. Good for you for stepping up to the plate and doing a top-notch, professional job.
I’m shocked, shocked I tell you, that she didn’t accuse you of giving Mike blowjobs as well. 
Were I one of your employees, I would have forced everyone else to give you a standing ovation. 
Bolding Mine.
Cherry Pepsi is not normal. You need help.
I consider these to be the classic steps of a being fired meltdown. I had already thought that these were the things you were bound to hear this morning. Of course, you already knew that too. I’ve heard and seen 'em all.
The tearfully going around to former co-workers bit was a wonderful drama queen finishing touch. I’m sure she played it up well.
SNIFF I miss Joan already. SNIFF
Evidently, she didn’t listen to the reasons for her termination.
Mike said something very similar. He told me “you’d be amazed at how many people know they’re in line for termination. In most cases, you aren’t telling them anything they didn’t see coming.”
We’ve ordered Italian (it just seemed fitting, somehow…).
ETF, I have not seen everyone this happy at the same time since they all got their Christmas bonuses. It’s totally worth it to see morale take such a huge boost.
She has to run home for her AK first…
I forgot to add a couple of things.
First, Mike is a class act. I need me a Mike around here. Good for him!
Second, fess up Maureen! Were you not thinking the whole time what a great story this was gonna be to tell? Were you mentally composing your post the whole time? How did you keep from cracking up during her ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF STEALING! hissy fit? Good for you for keeping your cool and being professional. I know that had to be hard especially knowing there were untold teeming millions of us just waiting for this.
I gather she didn’t come home to an expected inbox full of sympathetic emails from her former coworkers.
Adam
Bravo! And you kept your cool – that had to be hard.
I admire your ability to relate how it went down. I can never remember what people say in tense situations, even if it’s just minutes later. If this had been me, I’d have said “We fired her and she got mad and tossed her pass at me”, cuz that’s all I’d remember.
Like Ivylass said, Joan will probably be contacting co-workers to check on the aftermath. Any thoughts on how that will be handled? Will you and/or Mike be meeting with them to explain what happened, or to arrange for someone to handle Joan’s job?
It’s gonna be so nice, the first time you can say to a caller, “I’m sorry, Joan’s no longer with the company, but we have a non-psychotic hosebeast who can help you with that.”
Just because I’m nosey, besides the radio incident and this one, what were the other items? Did she have any reaction to each item as you read it off?
Enjoy your well-deserved lunch!
Y’know, Swampy, I absolutely did think “I can’t wait to see the reaction this is going to get…” more than once during that interminable 35 minutes. But while I have a good poker face, it ain’t THAT good. I had to force myself to stop thinking about it because it was making me grin.
My money was on Joan’s favorite - Mexican.
Honestly, I doubt she saw this coming. Dissing programmers and implying an RN were small potatoes with her behavior. Honestly, when they don’t can you for calling the spouses of fellow employees to tell them about non-existant affairs, you are in “job for life” territory. This one was a blip on the impropriety radar.
Besides, she seems to be a person who is firmly entitled. Entitled to her job, entitled to someone else’s boombox, entitled to have only food she likes at lunch…
As psycho as she was, I do think it would be a good idea to have a department meeting and air it out. It’s the best way to quash the rumor mill and prevent the story she will be most assuredly selling to her former orkers to gain a foothold.
I hope you remembered to do something Donald Trump-like to your hair this morning.
Since this lady has so generously provided her email address, perhaps it might be in order for Maureen to speak to IT about having emails from that address to anyone other than the Legal and HR depts bounced or dropped or redirected to the HR dept? :devilish grin:
Maureen, I raise a glass (of red Burgundy) to you for a classy and professional act.
Well done, Maureen.