We’re expecting a baby in, oooh, around a month’s time. Our second, and looking forward to it (well, I am now… I’d been worried for the first seven months or so that I wouldn’d be able to love it, adore it as much as our first… a horrible thing to admit I know, but maybe it’s for another thread on mild paternal pre-natal depression, huh?)
Aaaaaanyway. Her bump is fairly compact. Neat. All up front. She’s put no extra weight on really, not like the first time. It’s tidy.
Went to see the consultant a couple of days ago, who expressed concern (and I don’t like it when medical folks express concern - it tends to cause worry) that the baby (just going on the size of the bump) seemed unusually small. He booked an ultrasound scan for next week so we could know for sure.
So, given I’ve a week of worrying, and not knowing really what I’m worrying about, does anyone know more about this than me? Anyone any experience of this? What does a small baby mean?
Any help would be appreciated. I’d stick this in GQ, but I think it may be more of a …IMS than anything.
Could be your due date is off and you’re not as far along as originally thought
Could be that the little one’s just smaller than average
Your doc obviously isn’t THAT worried or else your ultrasound would have been today, and yes, they can do an ultrasound the same day if they’re worried enough. He probably just saw that your wife’s tummy is measuring a few centimeters smaller than it should and he’s covering his ass.
If she hasn’t gained as much weight as she did with kid #1, that’s probably why she’s smaller.
Furst of all, we are expecting our second in several months’ time and I had initially had some of the same worries re:how the next one will compare to the first. That’s just human nature.
Onto your question, though. How small is small, did they say? If it’s a matter that her size is measuring small for her date, there could be a number of reasons for that. That is exactly what they told me in my first pregnancy, so I, too, was sent for an u/s. It showed that our baby, while in the lower percentiles size-wise (and that’s just to be expected—neither side of the family is exactly made up of giants), was just fine. When she came out, she surprised everyone by being 7lbs3oz—perfectly on target. Something about her position made her appear much smaller. In some cases, due dates are off and that accounts for the size issue. Yes, there are babies who are born ‘small’, and I have to confess that I’m not an expert on all that could mean. If your wife has been healthy and eating and taking her prenatals and not overdoing the exercise, all the better.
There’s so much that is still guesswork in prenatal care, despite all the wonderous advances which have been made. Relax until your scan, enjoy seeing your little-one-to-be on screen again, and know that all likely is fine.
SnoopyFan - definitely on track - 36 weeks now, (and I can almost set my watch by the Mrs.) I can’t imagine all the doctors we’ve seen are so out.
Could be it’s just smaller than average, although I am concerned because the doctor expressed concern, rather than just pass it off as “oh, fancy that…”
And thanks to the wonders of the UK’s NHS, the “finest health service in the world” ™, next week is the earliest we could get a scan, and that was by cancelling somebody else.
Lorene - Thanks. The comparison thing was an issue at first, but no longer. I know it’s only natural, and I know I’ll be as hopelessly devoted to this one as I am to my little girl!
Exactly how small I don’t know - we’ll find out at the scan. But it is 4/5ths engaged, so is far lower down than usual - and that could explain it.
It was just a worry - I’m sure you know how it is, being an expectant parent. You just want everything to be perfect. Reading up on “low birthweight babies” gives you a range of scenarios from being in an incubator for a few days, to, well, somethings I’d rather not contemplate until we know for sure.
Thanks for your replies. I’m worrying too much, I know. Of course it will be wonderful…
I am not a doctor but I do have a personal anecdote, if it will help you.
My second baby was a placenta previa baby, so we were in hospital from 30 weeks, and in the final couple of weeks, scanned a LOT in an effort to map out where exactly the placenta was and where the blood vessels were running.
The last three times I was scanned, the baby progressively “shrank” from an estimated weight of 2700g to 2400g to a final 2100g which really worried them. One doctor jokingly said she had better stop scanning me or the baby was going to disappear. They did say that it was probably his position and of course not reality, but they had extra staff ready for his birth in case there were problems. It was of course very worrying for me and my husband.
But on the day of his birth at 37 weeks, he came out at 2950g! (6lbs and a lot, not sure what!) So he was bigger than even the most positive scan. And for a slightly early baby, a perfectly respectable size.
This is probably what is happening with your babe - I hope it is. My sympathy is with you and your wife as you now have something extra to worry about over the next week or so. It’s almost sure to be OK though.
They sent me in for the opposite case…gee you are gaining weight really fast, might be a sign of something, better do a level II ultrasound.
It was nothing. I gave birth at 37 weeks to a perfectly normal (although rather larger than expected) baby. I think they’d like to be ready if they discover that the baby is going to need neonatal ICU or something - this kind of clues them in.
Hopefully yours is nothing, too…but if it is something, better to be prepared with the correct staff on hand when the birth occurs.
It may not be anything terribly serious. I was 4 1/2 pounds at birth. My umbilical cord was found to have had one artery instead of the usual two. They kept me in the hospital for a few extra days till I gained some weight and sent me on my way. 31 years later, I’m of normal height and normal health.
It probably is nothing, as was said if they were really worried they’d have the u/s scheduled today, and they are only checking to be sure.
Being smaller isn’t really a problem, I was quite small in the tummy for most of my pregnancy… I didn’t start to hit normal range until 7 1/2 months. And even then because of my height I ‘hid’ it well. At 9 months I could have passed for around 3 or so or not even pregnant depending what I wore!
Your baby’s going to be the right size. Not the “average” size or the “supposed to be making a bump X big” size, but the right size for your baby. Doctors worry about some strange things sometimes, like treating a due date like it’s set in stone or believing the size estimates that the ultrasound gives them (with our baby the last ultrasound, given 2 days before birth, was off by 20% on the birth weight). It’s their job to worry about these things. Your job is to not worry and keep your wife sane.
Don’t worry.
Scans aren’t exactly accurate, and the one thing babies are designed to do is grow.
It means nothing in the grand scale of things, and small babies usually grow up into perfectly normal sized people.
If the baby is that low down, they might be a little concerned about an early appearance, and want to check that baby is big enough to handle that (just because they might be worried, doesn’t mean you should be).
Basically, obstetricians are very nervous, over-cautious people, and they like everything checked and double checked.
And even in the NHS, getting hold of an U/S machine for 15 minutes would be possible, if they really felt concerned.
Don’t panic, relax and remember that good things come in small packages.
First off, you will love the second one just as much as the first one. I know the emotion of seeing your first one probably knocked you for a loop, and you doubt that they could ever be duplicated. They will, trust me.
Second, Ivygirl was born on her due date and was 5 pounds, 5 oz. She’s now a rambunctious, 12-going-19 prepubescent who will talk your ear off if you let her.
I’ve had three babies and every pregnancy was different. Actually, thats a lie, the first two were very similar, the 3rd was different. The first couple I was pregnant from head to foot, put on weight everywhere, humungous bumps, I was just a big pregnant being! Both resulted in healthy baby girls weighing 8lb and 8lb 3 respectively.
3rd time I was teeny, compact, small, lovely! Barely put on weight at all. I was convinced it would be a boy as it was so different but no, another little girl weighing in at 6lb 9. I dont know why that time was any different…two years down the line the middle and youngest daughters are like twins born 2 years apart. I can hardly tell the difference between them in their baby pictures.
Oh, and I’d rather give birth to a smaller baby than a larger one any day of the week, all things being equal and healthy!!
Best of luck for the months to come, dont worry about the love thing. You ask yourself how you could ever love anything the way you love the first, but you do, without even trying
First, let me assure you that you’ll love your second child just as much as the first. However, don’t expect them to have similar personalities. Those damn kids each have their own individiual characters and aren’t hesitant about expressing them!
Second, a personal anecdote. My first daughter was full-term and quite healthy (she had a little jaundice, but other than that just fine). 4 lbs, 6 ozs. Turns out Mrs. West had an oddly shaped womb and Baby West was cramped, preventing her from growing further. Almost 13 years later she is of normal size and healthy. She was a C-section, and the doctors repaired Mrs. West’s uterus during the surgery. Baby two was 8 lbs, 6 ozs.
“Baby appears rather small”. Hmmmm… what a nice precise comment.
Did the doctor say this after the standard “measuring tape” measurement (they take a tape and measure from top of pubic bone to navel, IIRC). I’d imagine that’s rather hard to do precisely - the same person might get different readings 5 minutes apart.
The baby could just be settled differently than in previous visits - head down, turned a different direction, or whatever. Or, s/he could just be on the petite side.
That said, there are good reasons to double-check if baby appears to be smaller than expected. IUGR is one concern (intrauterine growth retardation… i.e., baby is significantly smaller than average) can be caused by a number of things including that missing umbilical artery (a friend had a 3 pound 15 ounce 34-weeker because of that, as opposed to my mooselike 5 pound 8 ounce 34-weeker). Maternal blood pressure issues can cause IUGR (another friend had a 4 pound 5 ounce 35 weeker… again, compare with my moose-sized preemie who outweighed that despite coming earlier).
There might be lower-than-average amniotic fluid, which could be absolutely nothing but might indicate something going on (I’m not sure just what). So if baby is swimming in less water, the tummy will be smaller.
I’d bet there were no other signs of distress, though - baby’s heartbeat was nice and strong etc. or they’d have managed an emergency ultrasound appointment. So take that as a great sign, and try not to worry (right?).
Don’t worry too much. My sister gained about 20 pounds during her pregnancy and 10 of that was my nephew. Thanks to her baggy work shirts you couldn’t even tell she was pregnant until about 3 weeks before she gave birth.
My other sister gained about 50 pounds and only 6 of that was my niece (sp?).
There’s no need to worry yourself until she has the ultrasound.
Thanks very much for all your words of advice and shared experiences - it’s relly encouraged me during the interminable period beween “Ah - we’d better look into that” and the actual looking.
As it turned out, we were able to have a scan this morning - measured head, body, femur and all seems as it should be (how they make an exact science out of this I have no idea, but they were happy). Smaller than average (but only marginally) and certainly absolutely nothing to be concerned about. And the placenta looks fine, too. The “less amniotic fluid” theory of **MamaZappa’s ** seems most plausible to explain the compact bump.
Given the scenarios that had gone through my mind, it came as a great relief to us both. Isn’t it an expectant father’s duty to worry?!
Just after we were given the news (well, from the ultrasound nurse - the consultant will confirm the findings on Monday), we were sat in a fairly busy waiting room, thinking how fortunate we were. There was a couple of similar age to us who went in to the scan room just after us.
We were getting up to leave when, from down the corridor - presumably the room we’d just left and the new couple had entered - there came a horrible, horrible wail.
I have no idea what news she’d been given, or what the scan had brought up for her. But that cry was haunting - heartbreaking.
We could still hear her broken sobs and muffled screams of “No… No…” down the corridor as we gathered our coats and left, heads down.
It was awful. I’ve never heard anything as harrowing. From a purely selfish point of view, it immediately eliminated any lingering worry of not cherishing the second child - hell, I’ll love it ten times as much knowing how awful the news could have been, and how lucky I’ll be to have a healthy child.
:::::shudder:::::: My heart goes out to that anonynous woman.
Relax and don’t worry about how you will love the bump as much as the first one.
My two weasels are now at the stage of manipulation of asking me, " Mama, who do you love more, me or Teagan?"
Exhausting the, " I love you both very much, but in different ways." angles ( citing the reasons and their strengths) as this does not satisfy their need to claim victory over the other of being Mama’s Favorite, taunting the loser to a fetal position. I have resorted to a neutral third party to throw my love at.
