That made me laugh, I loved your post Markxxx.
My kids have absolutely roughed me up. I yell “I am your mother, I am not furniture!” It does no good.
When they were babies they’d barf on me. That was bad enough. I’ve been peed and pooped on, too.
It’s a damn good thing they’re so cute.
Well, he’s probably been going to the gym for fifteen months or so now, and in that time he’s at least doubled his weight and built up lots of new muscle.
I’m sorry you got hurt. Next time you might want to watch out for the “head-under-the-chin” thing, too. Those can be deadly.
No, but I did have a friend get punched in the eye exactly as you described, but by a pet monkey.
When my son was about two years old, he loved to play the “fling body parts around randomly” game; I was standing up and holding him when he flung his head into my forehead. It actually put me on my knees and it was just by luck that his mother was nearby or I might have reacted badly. I walked around with a bruise and a knot on my forehead for at least a week.
I’ve been pooped on by both of my nephews, had glasses yanked off too many times to count, been head-butted a couple of times, and had a cornea scratched by finger in the eye from a babysitting charge - though nothing as bad as what beanpod described. :eek:
Broke his own.
You sure it wasn’t this guy http://www.minorlooneytunes.com/pictures/finster003.jpg ?
It’s genetic: We’re wired to think babies are cute because the parents who lacked that wiring didn’t have any surviving offspring. I’d guess this happened very quickly in the path to the earliest primates, given how cute lemurs and monkeys look to us. I don’t know how important it is in other orders of mammal.
I should clarify, actually–he scraped a small piece of her cornea up, so there was a flap. He didn’t scratch all the way through. So the doctor had to do something with the flap of cornea. I don’t remember what–I think I probably scrunched my eyes shut and shouted LALALA until my mom stopped talking about it.
Bang, bang, your baby beat me up
When my cousin’s daughter N. was less than a year old, she was sitting behind me at some event. She reached out and took fistfuls of my then-long hair, and managed to extract a good bit of it before someone got me loose.
Her mom said, “Sorry–next time we’ll put her behind a bald guy.”
Markxxx, you got off easy.
Very first time I was allowed to pick up my then baby brother Tommy, he peed all over me.
Thus setting the tone for every moment of our relationship since then.
“Sweetie? Those are Daddy’s testes and we don’t stand on those, m-kay?”
Ah yes. Children are so deadly because they do not hold back at all - they have no concept they can hurt anyone, and flail around at full force, without a care in the world. I see others have suffered the dreaded bending-over-to-pick-up-child-who-jumps-at-that-moment-and-brains-you experience as well.
Our five year old still manages to gouge us with her pointy parts (and since she lost her baby fat, even her butt is really bony, which makes for uncomfortable lap sitting!). We have trained her well enough now that when an adult nearby starts yelling, “Elbow! ELBOW!” She quickly draws in her arms. I swear her elbows have a built in targeting system for balls and tits.
panache45, that was a perfectly crafted story right there. Made me laugh three times.
I work with animals, I’ve been bitten, scratched, head butted, peed on, pooped on, barfed on, drooled on and this thread scares me. Next time I see a baby, I’m running the other way.
One of my sons was about 18 months when he broke my nose. He was on my lap, and he threw his head back (he was kind of a head-banger) just as I leaned forward.
TWO black eyes!
Never underestimate a baby.
I had 2 bruisers… err boys.
Yup.
Yup.
My worst baby injury though was when my oldest was probably 18 months old, his Granny was holding him, I was “blowing bubbles” on his tummy. He was laughing and waving his arms around, I went in to do it again, BAM! a hard right hook right on the kisser. The little bugger split my lip wide open. I don’t know who teared up faster, him or me.
My worst injury though was from my dog. I was again playing, I bent down to grab him just as he jumped up to grab me. The top of his head hit me under my chin. Dropped me to my knees, I almost bit through my lip and knocked my self out. Had to go get stitches and an x-ray for that.
Moral of the stories, don’t trust or play with anything small and cute, they can kill you.
When my son was a baby, we were taking a nap together one day when he woke up and SMASH! headbutted me in the face and gave me a massive shiner.
The next day at work people kept drawing me aside to give me the number of a women’s shelter. Unfortunately the shelter wouldn’t protect you from your own babies!
I was baby-sitting my neice (I think she was 3 at the time) and she picked up a stone kitty-gargoyle thingy that I have. It’s very heavy and she was only just barely able to pick it up. I was worried she was going to drop it on her toes or something, so I asked her to bring it to me. I was laying on my back on the floor at the time. She obediently toddled over and dropped the thing right on my stomach. Whoosh went all the air from my lungs. It seemed like forever before I could breathe again. Nice big bruise. For weeks it hurt to bend or turn at the waist.
I was holding one of my granddaughters when she was about 6 months old. I was making faces at her and she would try to reach for my glasses. I turned my head for just a split second and she reached up and hooked her finger through the hoop earring I had on. She then gave a mighty yank. The hole in my ear lobe was torn about an eighth of an inch before the earring broke. The part that surprised me was there was no blood, just exposed pink flesh. My only problem now 11 or so years later is that stud earrings tend to sink into my ear lobe after a few days so I rarely wear them anymore.
