I just received an email today from someone I had an interest in a few semesters ago. In the message I sent to her I mentioned that I was still interested in dating. Her reply was very polite (her politeness is part of what drew me to her to begin with,) but in response to the question she said, “I’m still dating someone, but I hope you find a girl who deserves how sweet you are.” Or something like that.
I’d been waiting a few days for a response, expecting to get just what she said, and I did. I count this as one of my best rejections because of how she phrased the entire message–no longer than five sentences, in perfect English, earnest, and sweet. It’s actually something I admire.
What was your perfect rejection? The question itself is a bit strange, so your response can include: rejections that you didn’t feel bad about, rejections that struck you as different, or even rejections that made you admire them.
(Hell, this is an odd thread. Most of mine die soon after I post them, but after re-reading her email I thought, “why not?”)
My best rejection occured in college. I asked a girl if she’d like to go out sometime, and her response was “no.” I kept waiting for her to elaborate about being busy, or having to study, or having to commit herself to a mental health facility, or something, but she never did. Just “no,” with no horseshit to try and take the sting out. Just a plain honest “no,” which I approved of.
There was a guy who used to drop in fairly often to the cafe I worked in, and if we were slow (nearly always) he and I would chat. One day I asked him if he’d like to go out some time, and without missing a beat he smiled, put his hand to his heart and said, “Thank you!” This guy was drop-dead gorgeous and I … am not. But he really sold it, like it was incredibly flattering that someone like me would be interested in someone like him. Did I mention he was an actor?
I developed a crush on one of my good male friends, and upon finally telling him how I felt, he smiled, kissed me gently, and said something along the lines of “I love you too much to lose you by dating.” It was a pretty lame brushof, but I didn’t hold a grudge. We’re still friends.
I thought you meant “best rejection” as in the one that makes for the best story.
That would be the Hamster Brain Guy, so named because he gave me a hamster brain in a jar once, which I treasured.
He was really good-looking. And weird. Really weird.
I could draw this story out to make it more dramatic and interesting, but I think I’ll go with brevity-
At this party I went to my best friend made a hat out of toast. (It was a toast party). She asked if I would wear it because nobody looks better in a hat fashioned out of toast than I do. So i wore the toast hat with pride and recieved many compliments even though the hat got crumbly and sticky because of the jelly.
Then I found that the Hamster Brain Guy was sleeping with the friend who had made me the toast hat and I happened to discover this while wearing the toast hat and feeling pretty damn foolish. And violent, though I didn’t act on it.
Ugh. That really isn’t the best rejection.
The best rejection? I guess i’m still waiting for it.
Me: “Jennifer, can I ask you something?”
her, cautiously: “go ahead.”
Me: “I don’t quite know how to phrase it.”
her: “you don’t have to ask, if you don’t really want to.”
Me: “thanks.”
** Rejection? huh? what’s that…? **
honestly though, same thing happened to me, Thank God, Gambit. Different circumstances, but same reply, almost to the letter.
it feels good
the blatant ego-stroking almost cancels out the rejection!
My friends call this the “Curse of Dan,” because it happens with about 75% of the women I meet and actually hit it off with.
“I’m sorry, but my ex-boyfriend and I decided to make up.”
Doesn’t matter if they’ve been apart for two years. Doesn’t matter if he abused her. Whenever a woman meets me, and it seems as if things are finally going to click, her ex-boyfriend magically reappears, and they magically reconcile.
I’m still single, and with each passing day feel increasingly genderless. When you’ve been beat up and bruised so much, each additional punch doesn’t seem to have the impact of the last. Call me jaded.
My best rejection…really wasn’t one. Well, it was in the moment, but after… well, here’s what happened.
I was attracted to this guy for a long time. We became friends, and started hanging out together a lot. Although I was cautious, my whole motive behind becoming friends with him was to hopefully go out with him. He became aware of my feelings, and one day we talked about it. He told me he wanted me as a friend, but that he still had feelings for someone else, and that I shouldn’t expect anything to happen with him. I was hurt, but not too much so, because HE was the one crying for fear of losing me!
Two weeks later, we’re even closer (I’m still trying to get him to go out with me, but a bit less avidly - the whatever-happens-happens situation). We’re at his place having the inevitable tickle-fight, and we pause for a second. I’m 10cm from his face, and all I want to do is kiss him. He shakes his head “no”. Nothing more. So once again, I’m feeling totally rejected, thinking maybe I should go home, but I just wanted to stay there with him anyways. We ended up lying on the bed, kind of cuddled up. I had my back to him, and I was seriously feeling stupid and embarrased for having tried to kiss him when I knew he wasn’t interested.
Then he takes a deep breath, and says:
“What happens if I love you?”
After making it clear to me that he did, in fact, say what I thought I heard, and that it was Love love, not Friendship love he was talking about, we kissed. We’ve been together for almost a year now, and I love him more every day. But even without that, those would have been the best rejections I’ve had
You and me, elmwood. Apparently God decided to do a study on the malleability of humanity, and I’m it. I’ve been pounded flat enough to fit through a mail slot. If this goes on much longer, I’ll be a threat to national security, what with my ability to pass between molecules.
The people in whom I’m interested don’t even have the decency to develop a unique trend like yours. The tendency is to say “I don’t want to risk our friendship by dating” and then stop talking to me. Figures, huh?
Anyway, as far as the perfect rejection goes, it runs something like this: “You’re stupid, you’re ugly, your smile is on the wrong side of your face, you’re not funny, you’re fat, and did I mention that you’re ugly? Grow a personality.”
“I’m still single, and with each passing day feel increasingly genderless. When you’ve been beat up and bruised so much, each additional punch doesn’t seem to have the impact of the last. Call me jaded.”
elm–I don’t know how long it’s been for you, but it’s been nearly five years for me now. I’ve been looking for a way to describe that state, and found them in what you just wrote. I also have a thought or two about your curse…is it possible that after being with you, they recognize the qualities they wished their ex had, and then get back with him to see if he could have them? It’s a long shot, but fairly logical…
mnemosyne–sweet story there.
And I want a Toast Hat. I could use it for physics this semester.
