Your biological clocks are ticking faster than you think, lady dopers!

In My Humble Opinion
1

Per the article referenced below some fertility associations and medical groups are going to be placing public advertising spots telling women not to delay having children because of age related fertility problems. The gist of the article is that many thirty something women are delaying having children because, due to numerous news stories about actresses having babies in their forties etc. and how procedures being developed every day to have longer fertility windows, many think late thirties and early forties babies are par for the course and they are not. Apparently only 2% of the total pregnancies in the US are to 40 year old and older women and regardless of advances in fertility science there is only so much medical science can do.

My question for female dopers is whether advertising spots like these would be considered necessary and important information or an annoying intrusion into a private decision.

“Should You Have Your Baby Now? A group of doctors thinks advances in fertility treatment have given women too much hope. Its new ad campaign is bound to stir up public controversy—and private anguish.”

etc. etc.

2

Would a kindly mod help a poster down on his luck and change “You” to “Your” on the thread title. Thanks!

3

Moderator’s note:

You got it, astro.
Ah, piffle, and I was just cruisin’…
Sigh.

TVeblen,
for IMHO
(still responding like a seasoned warhorse, details aside)

4

Don’t forget about the much higher rates of Down’s Syndrome with later pregnancies. My best friend had a baby recently, and she was quite worried about her increased risks at the age of 32.

Actually, while I was looking for the stats to back my Down’s Syndrome claim up, I found this.

Pregnancy Over 35

Among the increased risks are: increased blood pressure, gestational diabetes, problems in labour, preeclampsia, and chromosomal abnormalities (which lead to the aforementioned Down’s Syndrome, among other things).

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t think that one should be terrified of having a child at a later age, but one should be aware of the increased risks, including the chance of age relaged infertility.

For the record, my mom had me when she was 38. However, I wasn’t her first child, she suffered several miscarriages between having my brother and I, she had a difficult pregnancy and a difficult three day labour.

The bottom line, IMHO, is that delaying motherhood can be risky, and one should be informed before they make that decision.

5

Don’t look at me! I’m 31 and I’m DONE!!!

6

So long as it’s presented as information to help us make a decision it’s fine. If it’s presented as an injunction to breed right now or face hideous consequences then no, that’s not fine.

I trust that the ads will follow the first approach. I fear that some of the subsequent news editorial may take the second approach.

7

heh, i’ve already determined a window…not before i’m 28, not after i’m 38.
there you go, very sensible…now i need a willing man, and some willing ovaries in 10 years time and i’m sorted.

8

I’m 33, 34 in 3 more months. Great, all I need is more pressure than I’m already facing from my own mother and society at large to have kids!

I’m aware of the difficulties, however, I’m also aware that I DO NOT want to be a parent right now.

Stooooopid commercials. :crosses arms and looks cranky:

9

Am I the only childless 40-something female doper who has NEVER felt the “pressure” to have kids?

I was prepared to have kids in my 20’s, but I wanted to be in a stable relationship & have the ability to stay home with them until they were ready for school. That confluence never happened, so I did not have children. Not really a big deal.

I read somewhere that 15 was the optimum time to bear a child. Good idea? Generally not. I think that the reason one wants to have a child are more relevant than the biological risks one might have in conceiving. Risks of having a child at 48 = possible physical complications. Risk of having a child at 18 = probable (emotional/developmental/familial) complications.

Informed consent is good. Informed women make make better choices.

10

I’m all for information…BUT…I’d really have to see the ad before I said anything. I have seen some other supposed ‘information spots’ on similar topics. The skew was definitely towards encouraging mothers to give up working and set children as their real priority, which I think is a complete crock. Women don’t need that kind of brainwashing and we sure don’t need the extra angst as we go into middle age. I’m 35; I’d like to have kids with my current husband and if it happens, it happens, but I’m not enriching a fertility clinic to get them. (Paying for a vasectomy reversal was enough, thank you.)

I’d be much more for spending the money to give teens adequate sex education, including information like this on fertility as well as its contraception, and pushing doctors to advise their female patients earlier, regardless of how ‘intrusive’ it seems to them.

BTW, did anyone else think that the claim one doctor made in that article that he worried it was too ‘intrusive’ to ask his patients about their plans for children before they were mid-thirtyish was just a bit odd? I mean, heck, you don’t get much more intrusive than a friggin’ gynecological exam – if you’re comfortable poking around inside someone’s privates, what’s the problem with a couple of questions on top of it, huh? :slight_smile:

11

I had my female physician in Nashville ask me at my gyno exam around my 29th birthday, “Are you planning to have children?”. I said probably. Her comment? “You might want to get busy.”
:eek:

Gee thanks, doc.

12

I’m 20, got married at 18 and even then my entire family was pushing me to have kids!! Every time I meet someone or talk to friends they constantly pressure me ‘when are you going to have kids’ my reply ‘maybe in a few years maybe never what business is it of yours?’

You are very lucky to be in your 40’s and not to have felt the pressure to have kids. I get the pressure all the time and it’s terribly annoying. Like just because I’m married I’m SUPPOSED to have kids, there’s enough people in this world already.

13

Not that it’s an issue with me, but I wasn’t fully aware of all the possible consequences of a late pregnancy. After hearing all the news items about women on their 40s and 50s getting pregnant, I got the impression it wasn’t such an impossible feat, certainly doable.

Having read the statistics in the story, it occurred to me that perhaps health professionals are trying to counter the impression that reproductive science can to anything. I don’t see it as judgemental or manipulative - merely informative. If a woman thinks she can count on getting pregnant at 48 and lives her life accordingly - would she do things differently knowing that the late life baby isn’t as likely as she thought?

Seems to me one can’t make an informed choice without information.

14

<<The bottom line, IMHO, is that delaying motherhood can be risky, and one should be informed before they make that decision.>>

I already went through a personal decision crisis something like this. I want a child in my life at some point, but my body may or may not cooperate in the conception and carrying to term. The chances are good it won’t, unless I get some kind of miraculous medical care.

If not, it’s not going to break my heart to adopt a child. I want a child, not a pregnancy of my very own. I’ve come up with some decent rationalizations for it, too. Even a child that’s biologically mine will only be genetically half mine; and it’s not as if I’d be missing out on anything that half the human race doesn’t get anyhow no matter what (referring to the experience of pregnancy).

So…timing your motherhood when you the PERSON are ready, not your body? I’m all for it.

Corr, who’s enjoyed being an auntie in the meantime

15

One of my coworkers was nearly in tears over this article yesterday. She said, ‘so why are they telling me this NOW? I’m 35, and my life isn’t ready for a child (no father handy)!’ She is exactly the reason this info is going out - she never looked into the research, never asked her OB/GYN, never did much but assume that if she found the guy she wanted at 38, she could still hang out a few years after getting married and have a baby, no big deal. She was under the illusion that she had plenty and plenty of time.

I, compulsive researcher that I am, checked my odds ahead of time. I knew by the time I was in my mid-20’s that my chances for having a baby without intervention would go down over time, and pretty sharply (though my recall of the rate of decline was rather off!). And yes, having that info did influence our planning - counting back from the LAST child we think we will want to have, giving a reasonable gap plus time to conceive (since I also already knew that conception could take months or a year or more), I said - we’ve got to get CRACKING on getting our lives ready for kids. We didn’t hit my preferred deadline for readiness, but we were close. Without that info, we might have waited longer, and the results may well have been different.

How many women actually look up the numbers early? Being informed is important, but a lot of women already thought they KNEW the impact of age on fertility. Why look it up if you already know? The ads sound like they are aimed at informing accurately, not pressuring a particular choice. You still are better off deciding what is right for you based on your actual situation, but this way at least you won’t be using false assumptions for planning purposes.

I suspect some women will choose to have kids sooner as a result, and put off careers until later (or interrupt them in the middle). But the majority are just going to know that their choices have consequences that they’ll just have to deal with - the fertility consequence won’t be a shock, anymore. That seems fair to me.

(And yeah, why is it so hard for these OB/GYNs to say, “fertility declines as you age (and with smoking, etc.), here’s a handout on the stats for you - you need to be aware of that issue if you are planning to have kids, so you can make your decisions based on all the facts.” It isn’t like you have to say “get started, you idiot” in order to pass on the message!)

16

I don’t have a biological clock, I have the Biological Big Ben. I want babies. I want them now.

But I will finish my education first. I need to finish it first, which is why I’m on Depo… OTOH, I’m 27, so I’m not that worried.

17

Remember, though - just because you plan early, and conceive in your 20s doesn’t mean you can go blithely about it without concern for any risk factors. My great aunt had her second child at age 28 - presumably within the “optimal childbearing” period. He has severe Down’s Syndrome and has been institutionalized his entire life.

So yeah - if you’re going to do it, earlier is better than later. But there are risks either way.

18

My thoughts exactly jad. My cousin had her two kids before age 30. The older girl has Down’s syndrome, the younger has spina bifida(the reason they tell women of all ages to consume folic acid).

19

I hope my goddamn biological clock is running fast, very fast.
I am tired of hearing about folic acid, and how to get your toddler into Yale!
I am tired of Republicans who cannot keep their own families together telling me i need to be another stay-at-home-mommy.
Why is it such big news that stress affects fertility?
Why is it such a crime not to want to have kids?
I am tired of hearing from some neanderthal mouthpiece from the Christian Right slobbering about the importance of an embryo.
And I like it when I see good parents, I can respect a stay at home mom, I just do not want to be one, and I almost never get to hear the other side.

20

It’s funny what people don’t know…We touched on that stuff in Health class! I’m 24, and at the moment (if 4 years can be considered “a moment”) I don’t see myself being anyone’s mom for lots of reasons- though the thought of marrying a young widower with a kid has crossed my mind…However, were I to decide to have kids, I’d want to have the first before I turn 30. Toddlers make me weary * now*, I can’t imagine becoming more energetic to keep up with them as I get older.

Feel free to throw things at me, but I don’t feel a great deal of sympathy for women who wait to long, then can’t get pregnant- if they put career first they should have been sure that was the most important thing to them, since one’s body doesn’t understand changing your mind late in the game. If this sort of commerical makes a few women re-examine their priorities while there’s time for them to do something about it, then good. Sure, some people will find it offensive, but I find the pro-choice ones offensive and that doesn’t bother commerical makers either; both commericals will probably reach an audience postively.