You could be passive-aggressive, name your daughters Neve and Storm, and give your mom a stroke. Or you could not.
Are there any actual upcoming children for this to be an argument over? I’d hate for this to be a tempest in a hypothetical teacup.
It can be hard enough to make a decision between the two parents. There’s no need to involve other people. You can safely ignore any outside input.
But if your parent did feel obligated to consider that input, it’s not strange for them to think its normal to have a say in naming your kids. You can still justifiably politely decline, but don’t feel insulted if that’s their own understanding of tradition.
And of course, it’s not unusual for them to remind you of other naming traditions in the family, such as juniors and choosing middle names of grandparents.
My great-gran was a Dorcas. I kinda dig it too. I bet it’s one of those names that’s going to come back any day now.
When I was a child, I discovered that my Mum, before being prevented by Dad, wanted to call me Ruby or Pearl. How awful, I thought, blessing him for saving me from such a fate (he wanted Meredith. Didn’t get that either). These days I know any number of little Ruby’s, along with Agathas and Alices and Graces and other names which would have endured a sound mocking back in my day.
(Oh, and Granny Fry desperately needs a dope slap. Just in case that hasn’t been said enough in this thread 
)
One of the awesome things about being an author is that I can choose whatever names I want for my characters. Frequently I choose names that family would quite likely disapprove of.
My grandfather was originally named for his father’s best friend. Right before the christening, the best friend was arrested for public intoxication. The baby was named something else. I’m pretty sure that was the end of the friendship.
How about if you agree to call him "Lefty?
My grandmother did tell my parents they were not allowed to name me after her- they suggested it to her, thinking she’d be flattered, but she’d always hated her name, and basically told them they were not inflicting ‘Hilda’ on an innocent baby and blaming it on her 
I’m certainly not complaining.
I have been told I’m not allowed to call a son Solomon, as it was the name of my sort-of-Aunt’s son who died; also a fair enough reason to me. It was before I was born, and she never ever talks about him, so I wouldn’t have known otherwise…
All parents are like this, and so are all children. It’s an eternal struggle. There’s no reason for anyone to get outraged over it.
Actually, in Bengali culture, there’s a very good solution to this problem. A single person can have an unlimited number of nicknames, and none of them have to have anything to do with the formal name. So if gramma doesn’t like “Norman,” she can just start calling the kid “Bobby.” It works out fine. Kids learn very quickly that they have different names depending on who’s talking to them.
My mom talked me out of naming my first daughter “Jemima” and my second daughter “Harmony.” I guess she was right, though.
However, she also talked my dad out of naming me “Shenandoah,” and I’m still a little resentful.
Remember the old Spanish saying “Arroz con cualquier otro nombre sigue siendo arroz”
I’m happy to say that none of the prospective grandparents thought they got a voice in our decision. We followed the tradition of naming a kid with a letter the same as that of a dead and loved relative for the first name, which was in my family, and we chose a middle name by tradition of my wife’s family. We gave our kids very normal names, which has worked well.
This reminds me of the old Dick van Dyke show about naming. Each family member had an opinion of what to name their kid, and they wound up giving Richie the middle name of Rosebud, which was an anagram of the first letters of all the suggestions.
I’m a grandmother, and I believe that it’s nobody’s business what parents name their children. I was thrilled when one of my grandkids was named after me, but I would never have made any suggestions or even asked their plans.
My husband is still furious at his daughter for naming one of her sons after his (my husband’s) father, from whom he was estranged for years. I don’t get it.
Re: Dorcas — I was just thinking yesterday (while listening to The Band) that Virgil is a completely awesome name that unfortunately conjures up dueling banjos and Deliverance. Such a pity! But remember old-fashioned names have come back in style. I know so many little Henrys, Georges, and Josiahs… even one Elliot (though we know from The Sure Thing that’s a rotten thing to name a kid). 
Afaik, my grandparents didn’t have any input on our actual, legal names. But my grandfather did declare by fiat that he wasn’t going to have any grandson of his called a “pansy Irish name” like Patrick in his presence. So within the family we called him by his middle name…Danny.
OP, is this your first kid? Either way, congratulations! And I already love whatever name you and your wife will eventually settle on.
See? It wasn’t so hard. That’s the ONLY way to do it. Just say “I love the name. It’s a great name.” Or if you really hate it, say (in a non-judgemental way) “What a name! How did you choose it?”
If you diss the name someone has picked out for their unborn child, you are a jackass jerk douche-face shut-up-your-face sucky person. I don’t care if you’re the grandma-to-be, aunt-to-be, or just a friend. Say you like it and STFU.
(so begins a personal rant…)
My mom has a middle name that begins with A. My sister and I also have middle names that begin with A. When we were growing up, my mom told us she hoped that would become a tradition of sorts – females get a middle name starting with A.
So when baby Smaje was incubating, I decided I wanted her to have a middle name that began with A. My maternal and paternal grandmothers both had similar-sounding names that began with A, and so I created a unique middle name that drew from both of those names. I was psyched. It was a beautiful name, and one that not only followed a tradition previously establed by my mom, it also honored my 2 grandmothers.
What did my mom say? “I know you’re set on Adelia for baby smaje’s middle name, but why don’t you go with Sara instead? You Aunt Sara is really rich, and might leave you more money in her will if you name baby after her.”
I just about wanted to punch her in the face. It’s funny, typing it out like this, it doesn’t seem like such a bad thing to say. But it hurt my feelings SO much. Mom knew I was trying to honor her, both grandmas, traditions, my desires and my husband’s desires. Coming up with a name is a HUGE issue for many parents, and for someone to so callously suggest that said parents have chosen INCORRECTLY can really hurt.
So think about it carefully next time you insult a parent’s choice for their baby’s name. Just smile and say you like it, and you can name your own damn kid whatever the hell you want.
And OP, I know this is just based off my own experiences, but my mom was pushy and disregarded boundaries much like your own mother (or so it sounds like it from your post). I found that after the baby was born, I could no longer tolerate my mom’s pushiness and lack of boundaries and therefore have effectively cut her out of my life. I wish it hadn’t happened like that, but it was something about being a mom myself for the first time that made me realize she was actually a really shitty mom.
This. You don’t tell someone you don’t like their name, or the name they’ve picked for their child.
I don’t like the name Mr. Neville’s brother picked for his son. It is the name of a loser I knew in high school. I said this to Mr. Neville. I will never tell any other member of Mr. Neville’s family.
Ummmm, yes it does. I had to pick my jaw up off my desk after reading this. Why don’t you just openly sell your naming rights off to the highest bidder, if you want to name your baby in such a way as to get money? I bet some corporation would be interested, and they have more money than your Aunt Sara does.
OK, good. I was afraid of being chastised here for overreacting!
Mr. smaje and I never considered going with Sara (for money or no), so “Adelia” it was. And Aunt Sara still loves us all. (Although her heart would be broken if she ever heard what my mom had said to me!)
This is fabulous advice. Your mom is trying to control your behavior. You don’t want her to. Solution: Don’t let her, but don’t get your panties in a wad, either. It won’t affect her, and you are stuck with wadded-up panties.
BTW. I wish I could follow this advice more. I am a panty-wadder, too.
I can’t name a kid I’ve seen named Stephen (or variations thereof) in any of my kids classes or any of the little Sunday Schoolers I’ve taught. Its not common now. Not that its “inappropriately old fashioned” just that its gotten to the point where its the name of a 40 year old guy, not a newborn.
On the other hand, the boys in my last kindergarten Sunday school class could have been the lunch crowd at the old folks home. Harry, Gilbert, Cyrus…
I love this & I am stealing it.