Excellent, Beadalin!
Can you stand another?
[quote]
A cold coming we had of it,
Just the worst time of the year
For a journey, and such a long journey:
The ways deep and the weather sharp
Crap–posted by mistake–here’s the rest:
– Fred, Scrooge’s nephew, in A Christmas Carol
From Stan Freberg’s brilliant satire of Christmas advertising, Green Chri$tma$:
“He puzzled and puzzed till his puzzler was sore, then he thought of something he hadn’t before. Maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more.”
From “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas”
I don’t have a favorite serious Christmas quotation… it might be something from A Child’s Christmas in Wales if I hadn’t overdosed on that in my younger days.
However, if the pre-South-Park Spirit of Christmas counts, there are a wide variety of quotes available…
Ah,rowrrbazzle , a fellow Freeberg fan. One of my earliest favorites was “High School Oo-Oo.” And at the little radio station where I worked in the 60s, the management had removed “Green Christmas” from the library because some DJ might play it and offend the advertisers. Sigh.
Time to clear the palate with
Thanks to all who have chimed in. [Spock voice] Fascinating! [/Spock voice]
Today is Christmas. If you think I’m going to say what you think I’m going to say, you’re crazy.
Merry Christmas
Entry for December 25th in ** The Gay Book of Days **
What, no quotes from A Christmas Story???
“You’ll shoot yer eye out, kid!”
“It’s a major award!”
“I double dog dare you!”
Can’t wait until Christmas day when they play that movie all day long, it’s hilarious.
“Noel Noel”? Of course he’s thrilled. Someone bought him some capital letters.
Happy New Year!
Aw, be nice, Finagle. And thanks, Humble Servant!
NPR did a segment this morning about two women who pioneered recording spoken-word albums, and they started with Dylan Thomas recording his poetry. For the B-side, he read “A Child’s Christmas in Wales,” and NPR played a portion of it. Reminded me how much I used to love that piece, especially its final lines:
I here ya. Assembly gifts for kids is worse that buying a $500 dresser from Ikea and spending 4 hours putting it together with an Allen wrench.
From Mr. Moody: “If Christmas were a drug, it would be an expensive, depressing drug that made you feel angry and lonely and guilty and suicidal. It would put you in debt and make you feel like a failure for not being able to buy more. The side effects would include anxiety, weight gain and hearing the same terrible music over and over in your head.
If Christmas were a drug, no one would use it. That’s how bad Christmas is.”
From Clark Griswold: “Where do you think you’re going? Nobody’s leaving. Nobody’s walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no! We’re all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here! We’re gonna press on, and we’re gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye! And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he’s gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!”
And another: “Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I’d like Frank Shirley, my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people and I want him brought right here, with a big ribbon on his head, and I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?”
“Ahh, Christmas. What other time of year do you sit in front of a dead tree in your living room and eat candy out of a sock?”
-Maxine, the irascable old biddy from Hallmark cards
This is nowhere near the BEST Christmas quote, but it’s one that always makes me chuckle like crazy
From the first southpark episode ever:
the show quickly went downhill from there.
I’ve always wondered what would have happened if Virgina had written to the Straight Dope?
“Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?”
TRIVIA ALERT! In the difinitive Christmas Carol/Scrooge starring Alister Sim, the ghost of Christmas present says this. Scrooge never does! However earlier in the movie when questioning two gentlemen who have come to Scrooge for a donation, he asks if the prisons have closed and if the workhouses are still in operation. Sorry I don’t have the exact quote.
How about:
“I like Santa Claus.”
The kid in line ahead of Ralphie in “A Christmas Story”
“That not a movie. That’s my life!”
Drollman’s dad upon his first viewing of “A Christmas Story.”
Drollman! Over 200 posts with a spelling mistake!