Your favorite Chirstmas quote

I have collected a few for use during the month of December in the business column I write for a small town daily newspaper.

But no doubt the Teeming Millions have tons of Christmas quotes as well. Funny, sentimental, whatever. Fire away!

Peace on Earth. Wish you were here.

My brother’s favorite quote is:

Santa Claus is Coming to Town?

You tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus? Thank God he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

And FWIW, George C. Scott did it best.

“Aren’t we forgetting about the true meaning of Christmas? The birth of Santa?”

  • Bart Simpson

Little Women opens with the line "Christmas won’t be Christmas without any presents!"

There was a contest, probably the one in the Washington Post, that asked readers to take a famous literary quote, and replace one of the words with an anagram. One of the winning selections was **“Christmas won’t be Christmas without any serpents!” **which has become the holiday greeting of choice in our house.

“Somebody’s gonna hafta go back an git a shit-load o’ dimes!”


What in the wide, wide world of sports is goin’ around here?

Fantastic! I knew I could count on your profoundly twisted minds. delphica , that’s a classic! and gatopescado , it’s always nice to find a Blazing Saddles fan. Keep 'em coming!

Adults can take a simple holiday for children and screw it up. What began as a presentation of simple gifts to delight and surprise children around the Christmas tree has culminated in a woman opening up six shrimp forks from her dog, who drew her name. – Erma Bombeck

Merry Christmas, Nearly Everybody! – Ogden Nash

Contrary to my outward appearance, I will try to keep a neat inn.

  • Pigpen, playing the Innkeeper

Reindeer toes!

An excellent choice.

I grew up playing and singing Handel’s Messiah. Here’s the Isaiah I like best (backed in my head by immense choir and full orchestra with a huge-voice brass section):

I understand that might not be the type of quotation the OP had in mind–it’s kinda more a text than a quotation, but it’s what I like.

I like it too. I also love at the end of Charlie Brown Christmas when Charlie says:

ISN’T THERE ANYONE WHO KNOWS WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT?

and Linus tells the whole Christmas story from the Bible, there’s a moment of silence, and then he says:

“That’s what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown”

I cry every time I hear it.

Charlie Brown Christmas. A classic. That’s a great line.

Merry Christmas, the shitter was full.

“You wouldn’t hit a shepherd, would you?” – Linus

From Miss Manners:

Reader: We’re expecting a baby around Christmastime, and we were wondering if we should include the birth announcement in our Christmas cards this year?

Miss Manners: Although this violates my general rule to never double up on cards, anybody who doesn’t want to hear about a new baby at Christmastime must be an awful poop.

"Some assembly required my ASS "

From Little Tree, by e.e. cummings.