There’s a fuel oil company near me called Just Oil (and more)
Saw a television commercial last night for a weight loss product with the guarantee that you would lose up to 13 pounds in the first week.
The only thing this actually guarantees is that you will not lose more than 13 pounds in the first week.
Houston area:
a) Joe’s Crab Shack, a local seafood restaurant chain, has signs permanently painted on its buildings saying, “Free crabs tomorrow”.
b) A vacant lot out by Bush Airport used to have a large sign announcing “Property NOT for sale”, with the realtor’s phone number in four-foot high letters so that one could, presumably, call and find out what the asking price wasn’t.
All of our buses still have the sign “No Smoking. No Food or Drink. Radios Silent.”
Nobody would think of smoking on a bus, no bus driver would condemn a travel mug, and who carries a radio anymore??
A lot of bars have those “Free beer tomorrow” signs. Cute but I like Joes “Promise her everything but give her crabs” signs best. 
Here’s a wonderful collection of photos of strange and funny signs:
When I click on it it takes up about a 3rd of my screen.
Well…if that’s all they’ll give you then I guess that’s all you can eat. 
Back in the 70’s there was a restaurant in the Wisconsin Dells area that would advertise on rural billboards. It was “3 Brothers Restaurant” but the BB’s showed 4 men. I always wanted to eat there just to ask who the fourth schmuck was, but we never did.
“Save up to 15% or more” isn’t quite completely meaningless. It means that 15% is one possible value for the amount of savings. There’s no guarantee that that’s the amount of savings you’ll get, but it’s possible.
All of the Aldi store brand products bear a label somewhere on the package that says “No Certified Synthetic Colors”. So, there might be some synthetic colors in there, but they’re not sure enough about it to certify it?
AHunter3, I don’t get your Jewelry Store one. Is it the incongruity of shoe repairs in the same shop as jewelry, or the fact that all the signs except “Open” are lit? Because neither of those seems particularly remarkable to me. Or is there something else I’m missing?
Took me a moment to notice the store’s name is “Johanna’s Jewerly”.
Not quite in the same vein because it was about a third off, but a friend and I were in an appliance store and a refrigerator was marked down due to a ‘dent.’ Friend was looking at a ding on the front door and commenting he could live with that for the price. I was by its back side and said, “You’re not looking at the dent.” It had been dropped from a height onto that upper corner which was pretty well smashed in. When we opened the freezer door, the inner plastic shell was cracked in several places and I’d bet the freon tubes were cracked as well, letting all the coolant leak out.
Makes me wonder if the shop added the minor front ding deliberately.