your favorite historical event that didn't really happen

When I first got the idea for this thread, “favorite” wasn’t going to be part of it. But I realize there are so many I want to limit responses to just one per poster.

I just watched the Indominablle Teddy Roosevelt on Amazon. Won the Emmy. Very cool with a lot of great footage but a complete hagiography. When it got to The Battle of San Juan Hill something didn’t seem right, so I refreshed my memory.

Teddy and the Rough Riders did not take San Juan Hill. They took Kettle Hill, on foot, they had no horses by then. And then, Teddy saw action going on at San Juan Hill, yelled “Charge” and took off sprinting. Ran about 100 yards and realized only 5 men were following him. Went back and regrouped and by the time they got there, San Juan Hill was already taken.

Now I am not denigrating Teddy’s bravery, he did risk his life. But when I was looking up the battle, on several websites - History.com, Britianica, they all have the basic “historical” narrative.

So what is your favorite?

Moon landing.

(runs away fast)

The moon landing!

Reported for forum change.

p.s. Beat to the punch by Ulfreida.

Um, about Teddy Roosevelt and that cute baby bear that became the basis of beloved Teddy Bears everywhere… in real life, I believe there was more to the story than that Teddy spared the little fella’s life. As I recall hearing it, Teddy announced that he himself would not shoot the bear. His guide said something to the effect that he’d take care of it, and (probably) the guide did so, possibly without the Prez’s full knowledge. But the cub was never seen again, I think.

Moving from GD to IMHO.

[/moderating]

And if I recall correctly, it wasn’t even a cub, but just a weakened, already-injured bear that the guides had essentially gift-wrapped for Roosevelt to finish off since the hunt had been a bust. He passed on shooting it because it wasn’t worth shooting.

(Also, he hated being called “Teddy”)

Oh, Teddy spared a bear. Meanwhile shooting down any animal he could get in his sights. Big man. ME KILL BIG ANIMALS. I’m no prude and no vegetarian. But big game hunting, I just don’t get it. I mean if you are out there stalking the beast on foot, looking for tracks etc, and then you find it and kill it and eat it, OK I can see how that could be fun. Not for me, but I get it.

But these big game hunters with high powered rifles… Well off topic.

TR pretty much established the American conservation movement to ensure that his children and grandchildren would always have something to shoot.

Ha. Interesting take. Well he did establish the national parks. Hey I’m not anti-Teddy in all aspects. The trust busting thing, he did some good there I guess. Not exactly progressive by modern standards.

Getting back to historical events that didn’t happen, I sure would have liked to have been a fly on the wall when the people from NASA planned how they could fake a landing on the moon.

Or the meeting between Lyndon Johnson, Richard Nixon, the Joint Chiefs of Staff, the CIA, the Mafia, Jimmy Hoffa, Lee Harvey Oswald, Jack Ruby and the Dallas Police Department to discuss how they were going pull THAT one off.

Custer didn’t lose his entire command at the Battle of Little Bighorn. Custer’s command was the entire 7th Cavalry. As the regiment’s Lieutenant Colonel he would normally have been second in command. The regimental Colonel was on detached duty leaving Custer in command of the entire regiment for the campaign.

Custer split the the 12 companies of the regiment into three battalions. One battalion, with 5 companies, he personally led. That battalion was surrounded and had all troopers killed. The other seven companies were split between the other two battalions and security for the support elements of the regiment. Those units suffered only light casualties in the fighting. They very much were part of Custer’s overall command, the US Seventh Cavalry Regiment. Those troopers placed under Reno and Benteen that got pinned in place and weren’t able to come to Custer’s aid were also Custer’s troopers. They mostly survived.

You forgot the men’s room attendant at the White House.

And what was Custer’s last thought? - “Look at all those fucking Indians”. Ba dum pa.

Here’s a timely one for Independence Day.

The Battle of Bunker Hill never happened.

Most of the fighting took place on near-by Breed’s Hill.

Catherine the Great and the horse.

Chuck Barris’ career as a CIA assassin. (I do not for one moment believe his story is true, but man, I wish it were. The world would but a [del]better[/del] more entertaining place if such things happened.)

What was the last thing to go through Custer’s mind?

An arrow.

The Bowling Green Massacre

George Washington and the cherry tree: never happened.

River Of Blood Battle Site

Exactly what I was thinking.