Dear fellow Dopers,
I think jokes are waaaaay to long these days. Remember the good old days when there were only knock knock jokes? Took 30 seconds tops to complete a knock knock joke. I think its because when we were 7 years old, our attention spans were considerably lower than they are now. Well, my friends, this thread cuts right down to the chase when it comes to jokes. Infact only punchlines will be posted here. So, have fun.
Sk8rixtxThe duck looks down at the Irishman and says to the bartender, “Doesn’t EVERYBODY have one?”
“I couldn’t even get on the damn BED!”
You think I asked him for a twelve inch pianist?
“Got any grapes?”
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know, but my ass is killing me!”
“Mister Klopmann!”
“…You guys are all alike.”
“That’s not funny!”
“But who’s that standing next to Horowitz?”
“Oh, you know - ‘there’s no plate like chrome for the hollandaise!’”
“…ah, but you fuck ONE donkey…”
“sheep lie!”
“See that big rock down there?”
“YEAH! YEAH! WE SEE IT!”
“Well, I fucking didn’t.”
“No, I’m a frayed knot.”
“Five. One to hold it and four to turn the ladder.”
“You’re a real asshole when you’re drunk, Superman.”
…and the Basque shepard says, “I wish it was dark”.
“I think I just beat the shit out a ghost!”
An Abelian Grape!
eggs can’t come
But I will get close enough for all practical purposes!
It’s a knick-nack, Patty Whack, give the frog a loan. His old man’s a rolling stone!
“I don’t know, but he’s a dead ringer for the guy who was in here yesterday”
“None, the lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution”
“Fish”
“Poof, Descartes no longer exists.”
If the foo shits, wear it.
and tomorrow I’ll be sober!
But how do we get the chicken in the nylons?
Transporting young gulls across staid lions for immoral porpoises.
Yep, and dere boat for sale.
I think it looked a lot better before we took it out of the box.