when i went to HP LaserJet printer training ages ago, the instructor had a rather memorable quote that’s stuck with me over the years…
“You can’t prevent stupidity, but you can profit from it”
another one i find helpful in my day-to-day job duties…
“A lack of planning on your part DOES NOT constitute an emergency on MY part”
what are some of your favorites?
That’s one of my favorites. Every time my boss gives me a job that absolutely must be done by tomorrow, and I know that the goddamn job was sitting in a pile on his desk for the last week, this saying flashes through my mind.
hmmm
Journalist’s Adage: Never assume anything except a 41/4% mortgage.
or
Lowrey’s Law: If it jams… force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway
Nothing is impossible … for those that don’t have to do it.
You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?
If you can’t solve the problem using brute force, you’re not using enough.
The bread always lands buttered side down, unless you’re trying to prove it does.
There is no patch for human stupidity.
From Murphy’s Laws of land combat:
When in doubt, empty your magazine.
Extrapolation from Dicta Boelcke:
Never run out of altitude, airspeed, and ideas at the same time.
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
–Douglas Adams
My favourite cautionary to my sons when they were young:
The squirrel that you kill in jest, dies in earnest. ~Henry David Thoreau
For the workplace:
My boss gave me permission to tell one person a day to F -off; I’m not wasting it on you!
If I pretend I’m interested in what you’re saying, will you shut up about it?
Cut it large and beat it into place.
Forewarned is forearmed and four-armed is twenty-fingered.
I’d give my left arm to be ambidextrous.
Life’s tough, but it’s tougher when you’re stupid.
You don’t have to work here to help, but it’s mad.
(A real saying. From ‘Big Train’ UK comedy show)
Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without it.
It is too bad stupidity doesn’t hurt the correct people.
There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch.
Choices are easy, living up to them is tough.