Another in the continuing series of Exploring Human Sexuality threads at the SDMB.
For those of you who’ve had them, what was your first homosexual relationship like, particularly the very early stages? How did you approach the situation when you discovered you were attracted to this person? Was it a surprise to find out they had feelings for you as well? Was the experience the first relationship for the other person as well, or were they more experienced, as it were?
Well, I’m not a lesbian, but I’ve had a few homosexual experiences in my life. The first was with a friend of mine named Christine who happened to be a lesbian. We were just hanging out and she told me she thought I was gorgeous. Well, being flattered, I gave her a few from-the-heart compliments as well. One thing lead to another, and within an hour, we were in the throes of a very hot make-out session. I can’t say that we were ever a couple, but we never forgot that evening spent together, and I don’t think it hurt our friendship in any way. In fact, there were shared secret smiles for quite a long time after the event. As I said before, I’m not a lesbian. However, I don’t think I’m limited to men when it comes to who I’m attracted to either.
No, not yet.
Well, back when I was a lesbian…
I had been ‘out’ for ages, but had never managed to do the deed, so to speak, until a memorable evening at the Mediaeval Society Ball. I was in a madrigal choir who had been given free entry to the ball (dinner and all-you-could-drink mead and cider) in exchange for doing the entertainment.
The evening was full of carousing and song in the best MedSoc tradition, and later in the evening, a friend and fellow chorister (who was straight at that time) ended up (very drunk) sitting in my lap. She said “I’m cold!” and I (also a little intoxicated) said “I’ll have to rub you to warm you up!” So I rubbed her legs for a little while… I must admit I am a little naive when it comes to these things… and she grabbed my hands and put them on her rather lovely breasts and said “I’m cold here, too”… one thing led to another, and the remainder of the evening was spent in a cheap motel room in town, with a guy from the Mediaeval Soc who had also taken Colleen’s fancy.
From there, it turned into dating for a few months, but I wasn’t really interested in anything long term, and she wasn’t really sure if she was queer at the time or not.
cough well, I once spent an evening with a friend of mine when I was in my mid-teens, and we’d been “feeling something” towards each other for a while. We both got drunk on white cider, and ending up locking ourselves in a friends bathroom at a party…
I honestly don’t think that this qualifies as a “homosexual relationship”, but I guess it might entertain some guys out there.
shrug
My first “real” girlfriend was a beautiful thing named Tamara. We sat next to one another on the bus on a field trip for school and got to talking. There were sparks. We ate lunch together a few times, and one fall day we walked to a secluded park nearby during the lunch hour. I remember every detail about that day. On the way, we bought candy and pop. I had cream soda. It was overcast and the sky was silver. We sat in the little “playhouse” to eat, with our coats spread out underneath us. It finally started to rain and we got on the swings. The rain, the flying back and forth, everything felt right. As we were leaving, Tamara was walking ahead of me, doing up her coat. I called her name and she stopped and turned. I ran up to her, made the pretense of doing up one of her buttons, then kissed her full on the lips. We walked back to school holding hands. The whole thing was like magic.
Oops, forgot to address the rest of your post: Deep down, I knew she had feelings for me, but it was still kind of a pleasant surprise. And yes, I was her first girlfriend. After me, she got really “dyked out” - she stopped shaving her legs, cut her hair short, got really belligerent, etc.
I will never forget what it felt like to nibble on her neck. I think I’m going to love her forever.
Senior year of high school. I hadn’t yet hooked up with my first boyfriend, and there was this girl in my AP stats class. We’d actually known each other as kids; she used to live across the street from me. But she moved when I was about four or five, and I never saw her again after that.
Turns out, she’d only moved across town. Granted, at that time “across town” was as vast as “across the galaxy.” When I went to high school, I was bused across town to their high school for the gifted program there. She was there.
We didn’t realize we knew each other at first, but once we figured it out, we became friends again. It wasn’t romantic at first–we weren’t even close friends, really–but I went over to her house sometimes. Then things started getting more friendly, as it were.
I remember when she kissed me. It was inexpert–neither of us had ever done it before–and totally unexpected. I didn’t complain. I liked her. I wanted to be with her.
Sounds like something out of a book, right? Ha.
Things got a little weird after that. I don’t know that she was ever totally okay with kissing me. We didn’t do much more than that–felt each other chastely up a few times, is all–but I don’t think she was ever really comfortable with it. Even though she initiated it…
We drifted. Hardly ever saw each other outside of school. Still occaisionally got together, as it were. Then I started to get involved with my boyfriend…at that point, we hadn’t really been involved much at all. Seeing as she seemed ashamed to even be with me, I don’t understand why ending the sad sham of a relationship that we had was an issue. Call me old-fashioned, but I like those I go out with to be unashamed of kissing me. And she seemed to be okay with it (realize, the time between kissing for the first time and being almost totally drifted apart was like a month). She even agreed with me; said she was happy I found someone.
Then, at the beginning of my freshman year of college, she outed me to my parents. Claimed she found God. Maybe, though I doubt it. What about finding God would include making my life hell? (I denied everything, of course, because I’m chicken and knew my dad would disown me or something). I think I wrote a thread on it, actually…yeah, I did.
In short, I think she had issues, that she was mad about me moving to my now-ex, because she did start acting a LOT different after we parted ways. I really don’t think she found Jesus, or God, or anything holy.
Don’t know if I could ever trust a female again. Not because females are bad, but cause they’d remind me of her…
::le sigh::
Relationship…do you mean move in with and be a couple, or first time with just sex?
If it is sex, then the first time was odd, to say the least.
I was at a train station and found out my train was going to be late…hours late as a matter of fact. I was 16 and bored. Went out in front of the train station and an “older” guy (maybe 21) had a pickup truck and asked me if I wanted to go for a ride.
I said I had a few hours to kill as the train was delayed. I was sorta stupid and thought he was just being nice. I was thinking coffee at a diner or something… to be honest, I don’t think I was thinking.
So I got in the pickup and he started driving. Nice countyside. Suddenly we were in the middle of nowhere. Three guesses what he wanted. Surprise…I was excited by the offer and didn’t mind. Afterwards, he drove me back to the train station and I only had to wait about ten minutes for the train.
As far as move in. The first was a disaster. I didn’t know at the time he was an alcoholic and he almost brought me to his level…we never really had fights, but we argued a lot and would go out drinking for hours and hours…not healthy. Finally, one night I woke up to find him sitting with a knife in his hand staring at me and when I woke up he said he wanted to kill me. I jumped up, and with strength I didn’t know I had, threw his ass out of that apartment, threw his clothes out the window and
he was out of my life. It was his reality check and he has been to AA ever since, but we never spoke for years afterwards.
Luckily, after that, I had a few serious realtionships that all ended on friendly terms, and my current lover of 23 years is even friends with a few of those guys. One of my old lovers is even coming to visit us in Las Vegas from Germany and will be spending three weeks with us this coming June.