Your friend asks your opinion...

In My Humble Opinion
1

Entertain this scenario.

Assume a good friend of yours produces a creative work he wishes to market. It might be a book, a work of art-or maybe a series of instructional/informational videos.

Assume he sends you copies, asking if you would do whatever you could to help these tapes be successfully received by their target audience.

Although you have modest standing in the target community, you have close relationships with some pretty influential folk who respect your ability and opinion, and could really help this thing be a success or not. Moreover, one thing you can do, and have gladly done for this friend in the past, is write up and distribute promotional blurbs, reviews, etc.

Assume you view the tapes and, you say to yourself, “Gee, that really isn’t too good.” I mean, it doesn’t completely suck, but you’d have a hard time really recommending that someone spend money on it. And you wish you had been involved in the project at an earlier stage, because just a couple of improvements could have made a vast difference.

So, folks - whaddya do?

Guess what? This ain’t a completely hypothetical situation and I don’t know what to do. I’d appreciate any input.

2

Can you and your friend go back and make any improvements at this stage? If not, I wouldn’t put your name on the line. He/she may be a friend, but it’s not worth your reputation. I would tell your friend flat out your opinion of the video. Just my humble opinion though.

3

Bring a third person into it. Get that person’s opinion and give the data to your friend. That way you can tell him that, because he’s your friend, it wouldnt really be fair to use your opinion. Does that even make sense?

4

Just tell him, “Dude, your work sucks”, and then a year later (when he’s still wallowing in despair), you change the work enough so that it IS good, then sell it for your own benefit :smiley:

(I am being facetious, of course)

5

Definitely a budding diplomat!! That’s a wonderful idea, if the one about how to improve the work isn’t applicable. In the end, this is YOUR reputation we’re talking about, something very precious and deserves your protection. If this person is REALLY your friend, they’ll appreciate the constructive criticism, but gird your mind for the possibility that they’ll be hurt and disappointed, and allow them that, as long as it doesn’t get bitter.

Good luck!

6

Doesn’t your friend know about your expertise?
Why didn’t he ask you earlier?

It’s difficult to tell a friend he’s made a mistake.
Depending on the strength of the friendship and the potential amount of money involved, you could:

  • say that you’re busy at the moment
  • explain the problem honestly
  • offer to help redo things, setting up a business relationship.

Hope this helps.

7

I would be totally honest, as tactfully as possible. Lying to him or avoiding the question isn’t very helpful. He asked for your opinion, give it.

8

Be honest. Explain your position in non-judgemental, objective terms. “While this part works really well, and I like the way you did this, this other part doesn’t work as well because…”

I am a firm believer that if you ask my opinion you should be prepared to hear what I have to say - good, bad, or indifferent. If you don’t want to hear the answer, don’t ask the question (and that fits in many, many parts of life).

9

What we’re talking about is a completed instructional video tape series. My friend has already printed up I don’t know how many copies. Now he wants to distribute it.

The subject matter is not something I have a tremendous rep in, tho I’m tight with some pretty influential folk. Everything I do in this arena is pretty much behind the scenes. Reviewing and editing people’s proposed articles, etc. The fact that “Dinsdale endorses X” won’t carry much weight by itself. Not too many people in the field know who I am, so my actions here won’t really have too much of an effect one way or the other as far as my personal reputation is concerned.

However, I do have one very close friend who is a very influential instructor in this area. My buddy is proud of his tapes, and wants my friend/instructor’s opinion. And it wouldn’t hurt if my friend would make some kind of endorsement or something. I have another really good friend who runs a pretty influential website in this area. The site has tape and product reviews. He would gladly put up a review of this tape if I asked. He would probably write it up himself as well.

I don’t want to go to these 2 guys saying this is a kickass product. And if I just say, “Will you help my buddy out,” I have no question that they would without thinking twice, but I don’t want to waste their time. And, as I’ve said, unlike me, they have reputations to be mindful of. So, it might be an option for relatively anonymous Dinsdale to write a review, and have it posted under my name on my friend’s site. And I could get some kind of general endorsement from my other friend, speaking to my buddy as a person, rather than directly to the tapes. I also don’t think it is a problem that my friends the instructor and the webmaster would think less of me - thery would know, even if I didn’t say it, that I’m trying to help out a god guy who’s trying to do the right thing.

Now, the guy who made these tapes is a really sweet and generous guy. He is working very hard to succeed in his chosen field. And these tapes represent a TON of effort. It really pains me that this was (IMO) a bit of a mis-step - or perhaps more appropriately, somewhat of a squandered opportunity. And, it kind of hurt me that his tapes did not show him off as well as they could.

Its tough, because one thing that has allowed me to develop good relations widely through this area is not necessarily my ability, but perhaps moreso the fact that I don’t bullshit anyone in this field, I don’t play politics, and I freely offer my honest opinion. Another factor, the general quality of tapes and writings in this field is generally pretty ddamn low, so perhaps my friend’s product isn’t all that bad compared to it’s competition, tho it certainly falls short compared to what it might have and could easily have been.

Finally, this guy is my buddy. I don’t want to hurt him. Damn, being honest with myself I guess I’m trying to weasel out of this some way. Funny how easy it is to talk about doing “the right thing” in the abstract, but when push comes to shove…

10

Dinsdale, you may be able to save face with the friend and retain a good standing with your business colleagues. Could you talk with your two friends about performing a cursory review of the material? If that review is favorable in their eyes, they might do a more formal review and publish results. It removes you as the “Bad Guy” if the product is not that good. You still retain your standing by asking them for the quick review instead of recommending the product. You may wind up being the bearer of bad news, but not the wielder of the knife.