And why don’t adults have last wish foundations? Pretty simple for guys – hookers and blow will take care of 90% of the wishes.
I don’t think they have to kill the kid. They just repossess the wish.
That’s totally inappropriate… and I’m totally stealing it.
My own thought, a extended family member recently whelped and there was much ooh-ing and ah-ing. My thoughts “No job, no spouse, no skills, living with your parents. Yep, this will end well.” :smack: 
No, no, can’t be done.
You go into these things eyes wide open.
We give you a wish.
Then you die.
We kept our part of the bargain, you will keep yours.
Years ago, I worked ICU (RN) and I got an admission: suicide; OD. She had taken 90 Ampicillin mixed with Tylenol and god knows what. I get her settled and her sister is there, who tells me that this is the 5th attempt by the patient to off herself.
Immediately, I thought: She really is a loser; she can’t even do this effectively.
I didn’t share that thought. I don’t share most of my thoughts…
I could totally see this in a movie trailer.
*In a world…
where wishes are given to those in need…
one man…
will discover…a terrible secret…
*
Recently a man in my SO’s neighborhood shot his brother-in-law, seriously wounding him. When he was arrested, he mentioned he’d been planning the shooting for three months. My first thought was, “Three months of planning, and still you screwed it up. We know who the slacker brother-in-law in THIS equation is.”
Don’t have kids unless you plan to eat them. Give the sick ones to your local food bank.
This sentiment got me several Thumbs Down in “comments” on a Yahoo! News story.
I have had to work with several butt-kissers over the years and several have been sexually harrassed. While I do believe sexual harrassers deserve to be sent into prison pantless, several of the women I just wanted to drag into a corridor, slap real hard, and say, “Hell, yes he’s going to wonder if you want to blow him, if you’ll do everything else for the condescending ass.”
Like, say, shake his hand?
My inappropriate response is that I laughed out loud at this. Heh.
I have a few friends that are fat due to eating disorders in their youth and a lifetime of diets. As adults, they can get down to fat-not-obese but can’t shake the weight. I empathize with their difficulty eating healthy and not losing weight.
I have other fat friends that just eat tons of crap all day and sit on their butts complaining about aches and pains. As a person with naturally high metabolism that also eats healthy food and works out, my inappropriate response is, “Just stop shoving industrial byproducts down your piehole all the livelong day and get on a freaking bicycle and maybe you’d lose some weight, lazy-ass.”
I don’t post that on facebook.
Sorry, I forgot about this one:
A positive side effect of the war in Afganistan is that we’re going to have a kick-ass paralympics team.
Here kid, have a milk shake!
loaded with Polonium…
While watching and waiting with someone who was in her last days of life: “She never did know how to make an exit.”
Anytime anyone I know says they’re expecting a child, my first thought is “well, congratulations on figuring out how to fuck.” I keep that to myself, along with the thought that “the miracle of birth is about to happen for the 84,578,342,798th time.”
OK, you want inappropriate? How about my wanting to ask, first day of class at the college where I teach: “Are there ANY females in this class who are NOT single mothers?”
Yes. Inappropriate and snarky. After many years teaching at this particular institution, I fear I have become desensitized to the “but I’m a single mother” excuse for every. damn. thing.
I applaud you for going to college. Really. I know it has to be difficult. Just shut up with the constant references to your parental status.
Visiting my folks over Christmas.
A teen age friend of my niece committed suicide in a rather messy and public way. We were talking about how difficult that was for the parents to have some kind of dignified burial, and all the work that went into the funeral arrangements.
I managed not to say it out loud, but all I could think was “I wonder if they remembered to update her Facebook status”.
Regards,
Shodan
Whore.
When people say things like, “God, I’m such an asshole!”, I immediately think, “Thanks for the heads up, I’ll keep that in mind!”
People who say, “I don’t read.” I want to point out that reading can make you smarter. Perhaps even smart enough to realize this is something you shouldn’t be boasting about.