I find this funny because I had a professor use this as an excuse. She had 2 kids (7 and 9). She also had a TA and she STILL could not get our papers back to us in a timely fashion. These were not lengthy papers–she taught Cataloging in Library Science.
Every time she would post (this was an online class) about how taking X to Scouts and Y to flute lessons made her behind, I’d look at my own 3 kids and 2 jobs and 6 hours of grad school classes and think about her, “You really are an entitled little spoiled baby bitch, aren’t you…” She as also a lousy teacher.
Among other things. To some people a public handshake has the value of a legal contract, why someone would be so casual about the gesture is more than a little odd to me.
I would be tempted to respond, “Well, hopefully your grades won’t fail like your birth control did.” I once had a student workers try the “but I’m a single mother” excuse on me. I told her how incredibly thankfull she should feel to live in a society where unwed mother were not routinely killed to protect the honor of the family or cast out and doomed to prostitution as their only viable occupation. I haven’t had a student worker try that excuse since.
I heard Maya Angelou on the radio once saying this exact thing. She said when people say things like “OMG I’m always running late” or if they catch themself in a contradiction and sarcastically say “haha I’m such a liar” don’t say defend them or tell them it’s no big deal…thank them and keep it in mind so you know for next time and are prepared for it instead of letting yourself be hurt by it.
Of course, if someone loses something important and says “Sorry, I’m such a scatterbrain sometimes” I can’t imagine saying “Thank you for letting me know, I’ll keep that in mind” and then never trusting them again. It just seems like Maya is saying that if you do decide to trust them with something important and they do lose it again, it’s your own damn fault since they came right out and told you that they have a habit of doing that.
If you google for Maya Angelou quotes, here’s what I think she was referencing, “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them."
FTR, I don’t listen to Maya Angelou, her voice grates at my skin, I just happened to catch one bit and remembered that quote.
I’m active duty Air Force, have been to Afghanistan, have a son who is in the Army returning from Afghanistan with a purple heart…and this made me laugh out loud.
Tonight, while I was at a wedding, I was in line for a drink at the bar. My asshole father-in-law and his equally asshole sister cut in front of me. Asshole sister said, “It’s OK if we cut in front of Robin. We need a drink more than she does!” I turned on my heels and went back to my seat, mumbling “I guess you do, you stupid sow” out loud. (Thank Og for loud music!) I don’t like either one very much.
I’d love to use that quote but from some of my students, I get the distinct impression that no birth control was involved. They are quite proud of their (sometimes several) babies that just sorta happened as a result of random hookups. No regrets. No shame.
Many students attend the college on special scholarships/grants designed to get them off welfare and into the workforce. It’s been difficult for me, I admit, and I work at it constantly, to not judge them or their circumstances.
There seems to be two contradictory things going on here - young women seem to want to get pregnant and have babies, then they seem to want some kind of medal for being a “singlemom” (they say it so often it gets blended into one word) - you can’t have it both ways. If this is something you signed up for, then you have to just suck it up and deal with it. The world doesn’t owe you anything for not being able to make better decisions.
Single Mom’s, mostly, didn’t ‘sign up’ for it. They ended up single Mom’s through divorce, or death. Do you seriously believe divorce is only the result of bad decisions on the woman’s part. As in she should have known he’d turn into a gambler/alcoholic/abuser? What wrong decision, exactly, did widows make ? Choosing a man slated to die in an accident? So wives of firemen and policemen and soldiers, who die in the line of duty, their wives should just suck it up, and never complain, because they signed up for it?
Widows are distinctly identified apart from single moms. A lot of single moms made stupid choices, in getting pregnant, and/or marrying bums. The problem is from asking for special consideration for their particular problem. Life is tough for single moms. It’s also tough for married moms. It’s also tough for single and married dads, and single and married people who have no children. We all have our crosses to bear. The very fact that there are so many single mothers makes it a common problem, and less deserving of special consideration.
Actually a lot of the single mothers I deal with have never been married. And yes, they did “sign up” it. They choose to have a child. Abortion is legal and reasonably accessable where I live.
The very best part about shopping on December 26th is knowing that the assholes ringing bells for charity have gone back into hiding for the next 10 months.
Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius
(real men of genius)
Today we salute you, Mr. City Bus Wheelchair Rider.
(Mr. City Bus Wheelchair Rider)
Anybody can plunk their lazy ass into a wheelchair, but it takes real talent to totally
pull off that double amputee look.
(ticket please) Unable to drive a car like a normal human being, you selfishly insist on
the whole world stopping to pick you up as you go to the convenience store for your next 40 ouncer.
(Hic!)
Make an entire busload of fellow passengers late as you’re loaded aboard? No worries, bra!
(No!)
And even though you got no legs, you’re steppin’ out and livin’ large.
(Can you break a $50, Mr. Bus Driver?)
So crack open an ice-cold Bud Light, Mr. City Bus Wheelchair Rider. Because even though the driver has to kick old people off the bus to seat you, you always get the best seat in the house.
(Mr. City Bus Wheelchair Rider)
Those aren’t the people we’re talking about in this thread. I may have misunderstood, but I thought we were talking about single young women who make no efforts to not have babies and then continually ask for special consideration because now they have children.
I commiserated with a co-worker as she mourned her daughter’s nose job which she felt was a rejection of the family and race. And all the time I kept thinking, “what did you expect? you’ve got fake boobs, fake hair, and have had more plastic surgery vacations than I can count”
