I put ketchup on my hot dogs. Why? Because, if I’m having a hot dog, I’m having it because it is the only thing available for me to eat. I strongly dislike hot dogs, and I WANT to disguise the flavor.
Other than that, I only have two rules:
1.) No mustard. I don’t like mustard.
2.) Sandwiches must be made on REAL bread. No Wonder Bread. There must be a discernable crust. It should preferably be store-made bread. The only exception to this is PB&J sandwiches, which taste better with minimal bread.
Sandwiches should preferably be made on homemade or bakery bread. I bake my own. PBJ - Strawberry preserves ONLY. Peanut butter (crunchy is best). Spread to the ends of the bread. Not too thick, not too thin. Potato chips may be put between the slices to give the sandwich a salty/sweet/crunchy/soft consistancy.
Sandwiches with meat - mustard (preferable deli or brown mustard) MUST be on the meat side only. Mayo on the cheese side. Cheeses of choice for most meat sandwiches - swiss or provolone. Crunchy dill pickle spear on the side. Tuna must be made with tuna, mayo, garlic salt, chopped green olives and chopped onions. No pickles, no eggs. Cheese on tuna sandwiches only if it’s toasted.
Cheese and chicken do not ever go together. I don’t care if it’s cheddar, brie or philadelphia cream, it does NOT go with chicken.
PBJ is a weak imitation of the true peanut butter (crunchy only) with seville orange marmalade (preferably made by me) on cape seed bread - which for those of you not blessed with the Bakers Delight chain is a very dark brown whole grain loaf with masses of sesame and poppy seeds. I accept rye bread and a good strong bitey eucalyptus honey as allowable second bests.
A salad sandwich must be made with SALAD. Options allowable are wide and may vary in detail according to taste - select from lettuce, tomato, cucumber, grated carrot, alfalfa (yuk, but YMMV), snow pea sprouts, beetroot, avocado, onion, capsicum (bell pepper), rocket, baby spinach, celery etc etc. A chicken salad sandwich contains chicken and at least 3 of the above. It does not contain mushed up bits of chicken and celery glued together with dubious mayonnaise.
This has already been mentioned twice, but that’s a Sandwich Law that was passed down from my father: Mustard must be on the meat side of the sandwich.
Spam®-salad sandwiches must be made with Miracle Whip® and must be eaten on soft white bread.
Turkey or balogna may be eaten with Miracle Whip®, but mayonaise is preferred. Sliced, pressed beef may be eaten with Miracle Whip® or mayonaise, preferably on wheat toast. Any other sandwich with a white spread must be eaten with mayonaise and not Miracle Whip®.
Mayonaise is perfectly acceptable on hot dogs, but not strictly necessary. Hot dogs may be eaten without any condiments if desired.
Vegemite or cucumber sandwiches are to be eaten on white bread with butter.
Grilled cheese sandwiches are to be made with American cheese or Velveeta®.
You have not lived until you have eaten a muffuletta, preferably hot.
OK, I don’t understand the big deal about putting ketchup on a hot dog. Evenb the author of this column says it is the wrong thing to do. Personally, I can go the rest of my life without eating yellow mustard. If everyone was like me, French’s would go out of business.
OK>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Hot Dogs-KETCHUP, sweet pickel relish, and chopped onion. If you want to eat something real good, put the dog in the microwave for about 1 1/2 minutes.
Hamburger-Mayonaisse, SWEET pickels, onion, lettuce and cheese. NO TOMATO OR MUSTARD. Try to toast the bread.
Peanut butter and margarine (or butter) No toast.
Ham Sandwich-Toast wheat bread, sandwich ham meat, cheese, sweet pickel and mayonnaise. Stick in mcrowave for 1 1/2 minutes.
Friday after Thanksgiving-Mayonnaise, turkey meat, lettuce, wheat bread.
SUBWAY sandwiches-No oil, pepper, salt, or olives. For some reason a girl did this to my sandwich one day, and I made her do another one.
And he makes a pretty good case, too. I certainly agree; in my hot dog bun goes the sausage (never Ball Park), deli mustard, and absolutely nothing else.
I am agnostic on the Way of the Hot Dog. I’m not sure we even get the right type of hot dogs here anyway. Most people here seem to put tomato sauce on them, but then they are usually of a quality of sausage that needs all the disguise it can get.
However, the classic Sausage Sizzle Sanger MUST be laden with ketchup. Or to be precise, tomato sauce.
Mayo is a poor substitute for Miracle Whip (but it can work in a pinch).
Lettuce generally puts me in a bad mood.
Roast beef must be shredded. I don’t know why but a shredded roast beef sandwich is SO much tastier than a slice of roast beef on the same sandwich.
Lightly toast the bread…mmmmmm.
Have you ever fried up those thick, breaded turkey steaks? They make one HELL of a fine sandwich. And they’re square! It bugs me to put round meat like bologne on square bread.
Rye bread needs mustard. White bread can accept mustard or mayo/salad dressing. Rye bread also needs provolone or Swiss cheese. Again, white bread can accept a broader variety of meats and cheeses.
I cannot eat raw onions. This means that I don’t put raw onions on my sandwiches. I can and do eat grilled onions just fine, though.
I don’t like cheese with turkey or chicken sandwiches. Poultry sandwiches must be made on white bread, with mayo and possibly lettuce and tomato.
I don’t like most prepackaged lunch meats. They’re generally too salty and too fatty for my taste. Give me something from the deli!
Leftovers make very comforting sandwiches. In fact, there’s nothing so deeply satisfying as having a good supply of home roasted turkey in the fridge. My cat agrees with me here.
Creamy peanut butter ONLY, no crunchy. On white bread ONLY. I prefer strawberry “fruit spread”, but will take grape if that’s all we have. All PBJ sandwiches must be accompanied by a tall glass of ice cold milk.
Protect the bread from mushyness by a later of fat. This fat may be mayo, or occasionally butter. Mustard may also be used for this purpose.
Wet fillings such as tomato should be insulated from the bread using a secondary salad ingredient such as shredded lettuce.
If you’re using mustard, the mustard should adhere to the thing that’s being mustarded - e.g. the meat.
Here’s my wife’s favourite sandwich - called the “Jep’s”, since it was at Jep’s restaurant in Thailand that we discovered it:
Toast one slice of bread. Arrange cheese all over it and put under the grill until the cheese is melted. Next, arrange hot streaky bacon over the cheese. Then add sliced tomato and shredded lettuce. Meanwhile toast another slice. Spread this thickly with American mustard and place on top, cramming down all the ingredients. Cut DIAGONALLY and enjoy.
There are so many different kinds of mustard, with a broad spectrum of bite and consistency, that it’s safe to say that mustard of some sort may always take the place of mayo and ketchup and such. And should, if America is to live up to its full potential!!!
You guys need to be expanding your spread options – Tiger Sauce. mild and spicy salsa (the non-runny kind), and the like.
None of these suggestions applies to Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches, however.
The filling to the edge of the bread, Mum, the edge please, the EDGE!
(And my mother’s sandwich fillings were never bunched up in the middle either - cheapskate…)
OK, now for a BRIT to educate you about what a real sandwich is:
a) Bacon butty. Bacon fried until it is crozzly, rind on or off (I like my rind cut off and fried even more crozzly, on the side) and laid thickly on a thick slice of white Bed Bread. (You know the stuff - looks like a mattress.) Then luciously drizzled with HP sauce, the top slice of bread dipped in the hot bacon fat in the pan and then smushed down on top of the bacon. Then cut in quarters and eaten crust edge first. Ummmm.
b) Chip butty. That is proper English chippy chips. (Proper “french fries” made from real potatoes.) Layered onto thickly buttered (fresh slightly salted butter, never marg!) white Bed Bread and liberally salted and MALT vinegared until it is soaking into the bread. Then another slice of bread smushed down and eaten whole with hands wrapped round it to keep the chips in. And a cup of milky tea with sugar to wash it all down.
c) Crisp sandwich. Similar to the above but this time made with “chips”. Crisps can be any flavour but my favourite is salt and vinegar. Must be lots of crisps, and the bread must be smushed down quickly (take care to savour the crrrrrunch! under your palms) and then eaten whole so as not to lose any crumbs.
Oh oh oh! I have made myself soooo homesick. No salt and vinegar crisps here, no HP sauce in the shops (though my friend gave me some for my birthday whooo hoooo!), sweet bread, and yukky wet rindless bacon that just shrivels in the pan. Sob. I need a trip home now!
Hot dogs that aren’t chili dogs always must have kethcup and mustard. The thought of a hot dog without ketchup just makes me feel empty, though the hot dog is the only food besides hamburgers that I’ll put either ketchup or mustard on.
My girlfriend puts slaw on chili dogs. Ugh. Those durn mountain folk and their bizarre culinary habits.
No mayonnaise on anything, unless it’s mixed in with tuna.
All beef sandwiches must have cheese. Cheese is optional for chicken or turkey, in which case it should be Swiss.
Mustard is recommended for beef sandwiches but is not a requirement.
Meat sandwiches should have a greater proportion of meat over the vegetables (lettuce, tomatoes, etc.) If I want more vegetables I’ll eat a salad instead.
The ingredients should be placed on the sandwich in such a way that biting into it will not eject the contents out of the bread and onto the wrapper or the table, or worse yet, my shirt.
Why is Horseradish missing from all of these posts?
Most sandwiches should contain bread that is slightly toasted. “Plain” bread tends to get soggy with condiments, and doesn’t taste much different than a wet paper towel.
Anything with cheese and mushrooms on it must be shallow-fried. The mushrooms must be sauteed beforehand in butter, oregano, and basil, with a pinch of salt.
When making a fried sandwich, you must coat the outside of the sandwich with a thin layer of butter, instead of greasing the pan.