There’s no such thing a ringworm
I honestly thought that they ran an orphanage or something. I could not imagine any other situation where there would be two adults and 400 kids. Thinking about it now, he could have had the 400 kids work the field without lifting a finger himself.
I don’t know if I posted this already.
Spirit In The Night
Lyrics: It’s a mile down on the dark side of Route 88
Misheard: It’s a mile on the dark side of Rudy the 8th
At my workplace, the “music in the air” is modern country, so I end up with a lot of “countrified” mondegreens. In the interest of honoring copyrights, I leave finding the real lyrics as an exercise for the student. Here are a few of my “warped” ones:
“Keepin’ you forever in the hallways…” (Shania Twain)
“All the 8-tracks in the world ain’t gonna clean your dirty laundry.” (Unknown; she’s a more recent artist)
“If everybody everywhere had a lion or a bear…” (Unknown, again; sounded like Travis Tritt to me)
And lastly, from musical turf closer to my own, here’s one that puzzled me for years before I finally got hold of the real lyric:
“Come, let out the baby…” (David Bowie)
Enjoy! Giggles are good for you! 
Just happened to me today … heard a very catchy tune by Sweets —
“That don’t look like Mommy, Mommy, Mommy doesn’t have a sweater like that …”
Looked it up …
“That don’t look like my man, my man, my man doesn’t have a swagger like that …”
I like my version better
Justin Timberlake’s Can’t Stop The Feeling.
Heard: “Nowhere to hide when I’m gettin’ new clothes”
Actual lyric: “Nowhere to hide when I’m gettin’ you close.”
And an oldie - in Dinah Washington’s rendition of We’ll take Manhattan, the last line is “We’ll turn Manhattan into an isle of joy”. But with her accent it sounds like she’s singing “We’ll turn Manhattan into an Olive Joy”, which I’ve always visualized as a disgusting variant on an Almond Joy.
I asked in May, 2010, about a lyric from Dalai Lama, by Clambake.
Dalai Lama, with no hair
Soul vibrations in the air
There’s a question I’ve got for you
Why are you named after a beast of burden with an Aunt Beru?
Two months later, I realized it was:
… living in Peru?
My son insists that Carrie Underwood sings “carved my name into your legacy”. It’s “carved my name into your leather seats” I mean the whole song is about effing up the guys car lol his girlfriend and I still laugh at him.
and “sugar bear” term of endearment in England?
I’ve been an Elton fan since the early 70’s. I know all the words to the songs…or do I? :dubious:
guess I should have tried to edit…
Anyway, I thought I was the only one in the world that cant hear the correct words
Most all of the ones in here that people have messed up, I’ve always gotten right. So many others I have screwed up!
Isnt it
later on, we’ll perspire while we wait by the fire?? I thought it was conspire
I have yet to get Hotel California right
I need to get Stayin Alive right.
I love Jive Talkin! I think it helps a lot to see the videos of the songs to know what the lyrics are
From David Bowie’s Changes This is pretty commonly misheard, or actually purposely misheard in the St Louis area:
Turn and face the strange, Chaannges. . . Don’t tell them to grow up in Olivette [a municipality in west St Louis County]
I finally looked it up recently, it is Don’t tell them to grow up, and out of it
Used to wonder if the Thompson Twins regret writing that line in the third stanza of “Lies”: “The bigger, the better / Some nip from Old Saigon…”
But no, the actual line is: “Some nicked from Old Saigon”
Jim Croce’s “I Got a Name”:
Being a birder, I was deeply surprised (after I DLed it last week) to go to several lyric sites to see that they all had this line as
Like the whippoorwill and the baby’s cry
When to me it is clearly and unambiguously
Like the whippoorwill and the phoebe’s cry
I mean, he’s talking about the songs of two birds for criminy’s sake. “Baby” makes zero sense in context.
Alas, only 4 sites come up on Google for the last one (in "), 2 of them misheard lyric sites. They can go and blow me.
The first time I heard this song…
Illegal Alien - Genesis
Lyric: ‘It’s no fun being an illegal alien.’
Heard: It’s no fun being a league of aliens.’
Lisa Hannigan, “Lille”.
There’s this part where I could swear that she sings “what I read in the john”. Of course, I realized pretty much right away that this couldn’t possibly be the actual line, and some research reveals it to be “what I read it the charms”. But now I’m stuck with a mental image of Lisa Hannigan reading on the loo, which will not go away. Frankly, I could do without it. So, if anyone has any tips for purging your brain of that sort of thing, please let me know.
Too late for edit: “What I read *in *the charms.” Well, make that my misheard-misspelt lyrics.
The Cult, “Big Neon Glitter”…
All the lyric sites insist:
And drag me back, drag me back, drag me back
Through that revolution, without solution
But we all know how reliable they are.
I instead think it is:
*And drag me back, drag me back, drag me back
To the ocean, of absolution
*
Why would you want to be dragged back to an unsolvable scenario? An ocean which washes away your sins makes a lot more sense to me.
As a little’un I had a couple:
Instead of “We can work it out” (Beatles) I thought it was “Wicket, wicket, out”.
“Lookin for my last shaker o’salt” (Jimmy Buffet) - “Lookin for my last nigger assault”.
“oooooo, ooooo, witchy woman” (Eagles) - “oooooo, ooooo, windshield woman”.
“and her name was McGill” (Beatles) - “and her name was Moogie-Ill”.
“There, beneath the blue, suburban skies” (Beatles) - “There, beneath the blue, so purple skies”.
“You can get married in Gibraltar near Spain” - (Beatles) - “You can get married and then you call it a spring”.
My husband and I both heard this before we ever discussed it.
Jack Wilson Said by Van Morrison
Actual lyric :
I’m in heaven
We hear:
Drunken animal
I’ve never been able to discern “I’m in heaven” from that song.
Maybe he was drunken animal during the recording and slurred the words? 