Your most embarassing moment?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I will never forget my most embarassing moment. I was in 11th grade and standing in front of my 7th period science class, naming the bones of a human body. I had a skeleton to assist me. Well, I’d been feeling poorly all day, but right in the middle of naming the metatarsels and tarsels, I projectile vomited all over the place. I think I even sprayed some of my classmates in the front row. The strange thing is that I had no warning whatsoever, I just blew chunks.

Everyone in the room gasped and exited the area. Needless to say, I felt much better after losing my lunch. I just wish the timing could’ve been better.

What is your most embarrasing moment?

Eric

2

Getting caught in bed with my ex mother-in-law by her son-in-law, my ex brother-in-law. What can I say, it just happened.

3

Well, there was the time I was in 8th grade, I think it was, and I was sitting down to have dinner with my girlfriend and her parents. She playfully punched me in the stomach, and I farted.

I don’t remember much else about the evening. I think I left the planet for a while.

4

lol…this could be a good thread.

I thought I’d include a story that I’ll never forget…

Everyone I knew as a kid played baseball. If they didn’t play baseball, I didn’t know them. I usually played for at least one baseball and one softball team every summer as a kid, and I have some great memories from those days.

However, there is one not-so-great day in my baseball days that will forever stand out in my memory.

When I was 14 years old, I played in a local Babe Ruth league. Our town had two teams which created quite a rivalry. Ironically, most of my best friends played for the other team. Every season began and ended with a cross-town confrotation that would pit best friend against best friend…brother against brother…and, even once, brother against sister.

What a riot those years were…and I’ll never forget this particular year because our two local teams were going into the last day of the season tied for first place.

Our team had two pitchers…and we were true battery mates. We simply didn’t have any catchers, so my partner would also catch behind the plate when I pitched. He was the true ace of the staff. Being a year older than I, he had more experience. I always listened to him because he always gave good advice. I usually played second base when I wasn’t pitching because, even though I could never hit, I could field fairly well. My fastball would get ticketed on the interstate, but I couldn’t throw it farther than 60 feet. Second base was the only position for which I was suited given the short distance needed to get the ball to first…and I played second well.

The day of the season finale double-header arrived, and I was full of apprehension. Upcoming was my biggest game yet as a pitcher. I knew I was going to start one of the games, so my nerves were so shot, I was hoping to God it would be the first. When our coach posted the lineup sheet, I was both shocked and dismayed. Not only was I not pitching…he had me slated to play catcher.

I had caught maybe three innings my entire life up until that point. I can’t imagine a more psychologically brutal experience. It was 102 degrees outside. It was so humid, it started raining twice that day even though the skies were clear. It was going to be horrible work to try to make it through the day…now I had to don an extra 30 lbs. of catcher’s gear in addition.

I queried my manager about his sudden decision. He gave me some rhetoric about us facing a left handed pitcher and he just couldn’t use our other catcher’s left handed bat in the lineup. Then, as an inspirational motivation or something, he added the following words: “Plus, I just don’t think he (our other catcher) could hack 18 innings out in this heat today with all that catcher’s gear”.

Believe it or not, I hadn’t even really thought about the heat with all that catcher’s gear up until that point. Some motivational speaker, huh?

Looking for more motivation, I went searching for my battery mate who was warming up in the bullpen. I took a few pitches with him, but he wasn’t much in his game mode, so he wasn’t a whole lot of help. He did offer me one tidbit of advice, though…he said, “Don’t forget the cup.”

I did’t exactly know to what he was referring at first. I thought he was reminding me to not forget to put my cup in, for which I immediately thanked him because I had indeed forgotten.

As luck would have it, we lost a 1-0 contest where both pitchers were dominant. It was all up to the final game of the double header to decide if we would take second place or if we would force a deciding playoff game. I got to take the mound in what would ultimately be the most important game of my life as a pitcher.

We were the home team, so we got to take the field first. I took my warm up throws with our reserve catcher while my battery mate recovered from his workout in the heat. There was actually some consternation on the part of our coach on who to start since our ace pitcher/catcher had already had a full workout. In the end, I ended up seeing my old batter mate get behind the plate for the first pitch of the top of the first inning. I had never pitched in game situation to anyone else, so the choice only made sense.

However, I realized my error as soon as my first windup was halfway through. When my battery mate had said “Don’t forget the cup”, he didn’t mean “don’t forget to put it in”, he meant “don’t forget to take it out”. Boy did I feel like an idiot. My pitch barely went halfway to the plate and the batter doubled over in laughter. I guess I looked pretty well endowed for a 14-year old. However, I was torn in what to do. My catcher jogged out to the mound shaking his head with a wide grin on his face. The first words out of his mouth were, “I warned you”.

However, I just didn’t know what to do. There were at least 200 people at the game…almost everyone I knew…parents, teachers, friends…were either in the bleachers or on the bench. I was certain no one had seen what was wrong, and I didn’t want to alert anyone to the fact by reaching down my pants!

What to do…what to do… My catcher asked me that exact question. “Are you going to take it out?”

“Yeah,” I responded. “As soon as this inning is done.”

“You’re going to pitch the whole inning with it in? That’s crazy!”

"But I can’t take it out! Everyone is watching us right now. "

“Dude…sucks to be you. You think you can pitch with it?”

“I dunno. I think I better try unless you want to pitch this inning.”

So the conversation went until the umpire got involved. I guess I just wanted to prolong my embarassment as long as possible.

I guess to every cloud there is a silver lining. Even though I hate cliches, the whole cloud ended up being silver in this case. The batter had fully regained his composure by the time I got around to pitching again. I guess he was prepared this time. He lined a shot so hard, I didn’t have time to react. By one of the hardest line drives I have ever seen, I got smacked right smack dab in the middle of the cup. Amazingly enough, I was able to hold onto the ball without even using my hands…and I wasn’t harmed a bit except a bit of a bruise on a not-so-sensitive area.

However, my silver lining quickly turned back into humiliation. It seems that the contact the ball made with the hard plastic had jarred two of the buttons loose on the fly of my jersey pants. One would think there would be a rule allowing one “embarassment time out” a game for situations such as these. I was forced to pitch to two more batters with my fly gaping open. They must have been distracted or something becasue I was able to strike them both out on three pitches apiece.

Though the day ended up ending in disaster. I guess I had expended more energy than is capable from a 14 year old in an effort to fight off embarassment. Stitched pants and all, I never made it through the second inning. I got tagged pretty hard. I don’t even really remember the rest of the day that well except the fact that I wanted to crawl into a hole and hide. Looking back, I greatly admire the coach for the decision he made to let me sit on the bench the rest of the day. I guess there are times when a person just doesn’t want to play…

I can guarantee one thing, though. I always wore my cup on the mound after that day. Once I grew about six inches taller, it wasn’t even noticable anyway…

5

WHo caught when your partner pitched?

6

I’d tell you but, well, it’s just too darn embarassing…

:wink:

Barry

7

When I was in first or second grade, don’t remember which, I was back at the pencil sharpener. I sneezed and blew a jujyfruit sized booger into my hand. Being an idiot child, I started to put in into my mouth when my teacher shouts from the front of the room “WELBY! That is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen!” The entire class turned and saw me in the process of delivering said booger to my mouth.

I’ve never been the same.

8

I had a burglar break in to my apartment while I was in the shower. Since he was between me and my gun, I had no other choice than to jump on him, naked and dripping wet. In the course of our tussle, we crashed out through the front door onto the parking lot, where I knelt on him and gave him a thorough beating. At that point, I realized how things would look if the police arrived at that moment and I retreated to my apartment. Why was I embarassed?

  1. I didn’t change the locks the moment I moved in.
  2. I didn’t have the gun where I could access it.
  3. I didn’t hold the miscreant for the cops.
    IOW, I’m embarrassed at how many mistakes I made.
9

Gee, there’s just so many but I guess my MOST embarrassing moment was about 6 years ago I worked for a chain of optical shops. There was a girl (Nicole) about my age that worked at a different location than me and for a period of about 5 or 6 days, she would call my store every day for different things, and every time it just so happened that I’d be the one to answer the phone. It got to be a running joke between us and she would say silly jokes and such to me.
Well, I was closing the store one night and the phone rings…I answer it w/ the usual spiel and I hear a female with a HORRENDOUS stutter say “H-h-h-h-h-ow m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-much is an eye e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-exam?”
and I think to myself “Nicole calls hear AGAIN and I’M the one to answer the phone AGAIN!!!..and she’s trying to FOOL ME!!!..HAH I’LL SHOW HER!!”.
I’m not one to be fooled so I start laughing and say “SPIT IT OUT!!!” To which the lady replies “B-b-b-b-b-e p-p-p-p-patient with m-m-m-m-me.”
And I realize to my utter fucking horror that I’m not talking to Nicole but some poor lady with a terrible speech impediment and she was just trying to get some information. I apologized profusely but what could I say “Sorry lady, hearing you talk I just KNEW it was a JOKE!”
I was actually so mortified I was nauseous. NOT a good feeling

10

I’ll be too the point here:
Freshman year in college. Use the wrong bathroom.

11

Too quick…that should be to in the first line.
Thinking back on it, I’m lucky Campus Security didn’t get involved with the situation… That would’ve been ugly.

12

Childhood mortification incident: I was exploring the “baptistry” at the church with some friends. (Baptistry is the water tank they baptise you in) The tank was empty and as I was walking down the steps my foot slipped and I fell down the stairs into the dry ass baptistry and cut my shin. I was so mortified.

Recent mortification incident: I waltzed right into the men’s room at the local “Tinseltown” movie theater, and a gray haired man was peeing at the urinal and he turned around, weiner in hand, and saw me. It took that long for me to realize where I went wrong. I just stood there staring like a deer in the headlights.
so. very. embarassing.

13

We had a kid on our team who was about 5’6" and weight about 210 lbs. He was on the roster for the explicit purpose of being the “reserve” catcher. He also was a left-handed batter, so his bat was a welcome addition to a league that featured mostly right handed pitchers.

He was a liability on the field, though. However, he was a better catcher than anyone else on the team (except the ace pitcher).

As I understand, these days, youth baseball leagues are very hard pressed to find catchers. In fact, most Babe Ruth teams that I have seen tend to have to teach someone to play the position.

14

In ninth grade, i believe, i was sitting next to this fat but very tough kid in art class. i was a skinny assclown in those days. we were playfully making fun of each other, but i could see he was starting to get pissed. At the wrong moment i for some reason flicked a piece of paper at the side of his face.

I don’t know why, but this made the kid fucking flip-he rushed at me, grabbed my neck and pushed my head down on a side table and almost punched me. But he backed off and sat down as if nothing happened.

So i am standing there with everyone staring at me with a ‘holy shit!’ look on their faces. I think i just stood their for a minute or two in a daze. I felt like the biggest pussy dork-bag.

On a lighter note:-i was once set on fire in HS shop class! This stoner kid thought it would be funny to see if my sweater would catch fire. So, unbeknownst to me, he puts a lighter up to the back of the sweater and up it goes. Then i hear cries of danger and noise and some kid rushes over and pats me down to put the flames down. It was over before i was even fully cognisant. Most of the kids thought it was funny as hell.

i have a few more-i’ll post later

15

My first real job… Waiting outside a friend’s office (we were going to lunch), I was leaning against the wall with my hands in my front pockets. Two nice looking women walk toward me and smile, and proceed to walk past me smiling and giggling and looking back at me. I think “Hey! I’m the man! One of them likes me!”

I look down. My fly was wide open.