The two worst movies I’ve seen in theaters recently are Men in Black II and Reign of Fire.
I just watched Mulholland Drive last night- can I have my 2 1/2 hours back. But what can you expect from David Lynch? Thank goodness for the lesbian scenes to keep me going.
I watched A Walk to Remember a couple nights ago. (Hey, it wasn’t my idea…) I didn’t expect it to be good at all, but it was better than I imagined. At least until the same old boring, predictable “Oh, by the way, I realize you’re in love with me now, but I have cancer and I’m going to die” storyline surfaced.
Mandy Moore was a better actress than I expected her to be and Shane West is hot. The movie was wretched though.
I’ve got to disagree with Battlefield Earth being a bad film.
It was a fairly good implementation of a horrible book.
This means it really had no hope to begin with, and also that the horror that resulted wasn’t the fault of the director or the actors, putting it outside the general category that leads to Manos, the Knees of Fate.
It’s a nitpick, but I feel it is a significant one that removes it from consideration.
John Travolta clearly had fun doing it, it wasn’t horribly over budget, and it didn’t have randomly improvised and/or rescripted bits that were just thrown in to make the movie longer.
This movie was so bad I’ve blocked out all the info that most people think is important, like the name and the actors in it.
This guy had a girlfriend and it was discovered that she was his sister. Only the guy learned that she really wasn’t his sister. The whole movie is about him trying to get his girlfriend back. This movie was supposed to be a romantic comedy.
There was one joke in the movie-- everyone in town thinks he screwed his sister and wants to continue doing so. It was really bad and stupid.
Gods, there are so many.
When I went to Italy, the film on the way back was Crossroads – the Britney Spears movie. Blech. Horribleness. I wanted to claw the girl’s eyes out.
The Adventures of Pluto Nash
Geez, Eddie, retire already.
Not Another Teen Movie and Scary Movie 2. I like parody, and the first Scary Movie was good rauncy fun. But these pale clones were just gross and tired. Eww.
I had the same reaction until checking out ArchiveGuy’s post here. He also provides a link to a site which makes step-by-step sense of the movie. It’s actually pretty interesting, IMO.
Say It Isn’t So, with Heather Graham & Chris Klein from American Pie
Vanilla Sky , to be sure. And K19-The Widowmaker was one big boat full o’ cliches.
The Time Machine. I loved the book, but this deplorable pile of tripe made me want to put a gun in my mouth. The only thing cool in the whole thing was seeing the Moon shattered into pieces… about three seconds of worthwhile viewing in a 90-minute movie. And the Star Trek wannabe technobabble ending… what the fuck?
You actually watched the whole thing? After an hour or so of sheer mind-numbing awfulness, I put it back in its case and returned it to the video store. I wonder if anyone has ever done a study to find out the correlation between the # of people who highly praise the movie, and the #of people who do so solely because they liked the aforementioned lesbian scenes…it’s got to be high. I keep hoping I’ll find a Lynch film I can stand <shakes head>
The most recent bad movie I saw was Mindstorm I vaguely remembered hearing something about it, and decided that it was worth a $1 to take the risk and rent it. Well, it definitely had an unusual plot, not one that made a lot of sense mind you, but unusual. The best thing about it is that William B Davis is in it.
You remembered the title and the actors! You are a better person than I am.
Personally I thought Goldmember sucked. We walked out when it got to the “Haddock and a cigar” bit with the Dutch guy or whatever it was.
Lord of the Rings. What a drawn out piece of crap that movie was! I read the books when I was younger and enjoyed them, I even liked the Ralph Bakshi versions, so I was really excited when this movie came out, only to be horribly disappointed at what I saw on screen. Plus, the movie made things obvious that I hadn’t thought about when I read the books.
(Uh, okay, so you’ve just fought this horrific battle and won it solely by a stroke of luck, so you go to destroy the thing that could cause it to all happen again, only the guy who’s in possession of it doesn’t want to do it, so your response is to let him walk away!?! Not me, mo-fo, if you won’t cast the ring into the Crack of Doom, I’ll just toss you and it into it and be done with you all!)
Another vote for feardotcom.
The Jason Biggs character finally gets a chance to have sex with the Nadia, who is quite enthusiastic about the meeting. He realizes that he’s in love with Alyson Hannigan (the band camp girl), rejects Nadia, and gets it on with Ms. Hannigan. Nadia sleeps with “The Sherminator”.
One Word.
Glitter
Worst of this year? Easily, Goldmember.
It’s not even out yet, and I can say with certainty that it is Swimfan. How do I know? Freddy Prinze Jr. is the victim of an obsessive fan.