As I mentioned here, I will be in need of some Halloween recipes pretty soon.
So I thought to myself, “Self, who do you know that knows how to cook but has a truly demented sense of humor? Ah! THE DOPE!” 
Any festive ideas welcome, whether dorky, funny, or scary. I would say these are the only requirements: nothing fishy (we’re going for mass appeal here), nothing that will spoil too quickly (whatever it is will be sitting out for a few hours while it is picked at by a bunch of parents), and no alcohol.
So. . . any ideas?
Tint cheese spread with blue food coloring until it’s gruesomely green.
Dip miniature pretzel sticks into the cheesy stuff and taadaa, boogers on a stick!
Oh I love it! Any particular cheese spread you recommend? Do you buy it premade or make it yourself?
Get a big heart jello mold. Make up some red Jello (red is a flavor, right?) and after it is done cooking, mix it with enough whip cream so that it becomes opaque.
Pour the mix into the mold.
Immediately after, get a small baggie and fill it with corn syrup and red food dye so that it looks dark like blood. Ensure the baggie is very full/tight with no air (or as little as possible). As the jello cools and starts to become hard, insert the bag into the middle of the jello, ensuring none of the bag shows.
After it has finished setting, serve it on an elegant white plate in front of all your friends and coworkers. With a very sharp knife and an evil look in your eye, slice deep into the mold, breaking open the bag. Spread the ‘blood’ all about the jello as you maniacally cut through it until you are locked away for exorcism.
(Thanks Penn and Teller!)