I’ve been thinking about getting one. I can’t take any kind of BC pill because of another medication I’m on. I’ve been using over the counter stuff (gel), but it’s exspensive and irritating. We usually just do without, which isn’t a good idea at my age (40).
Thanks for all the feedback!
I am absolutely sure I never want to give birth - watching the Miracle of Life video killed that desire in me permanently.
As for my husband getting snipped; he’s a wuss, ‘nuff said there.
I have another reason for wanting to go for the surgery myself. When I was young, I had appendicitis for 2 years :eek: (yes, 2- the doctors’ thought I was acting). I have scar tissue on the right side, and it makes ovulation very painful. I’m thinking with the tubal they can go in and get rid of the some of the scar tissue.
Or would that possibly make the procedure more difficult?
** HQ **, what type of meds are you on? My meds (the ones that make pregnancy virtually impossible) won’t allow me to take BC pills either
Not trying to be contradictory here, but I’m puzzled as to why a woman in a long-term relationship, would put herself at risk with this surgical procedure, unless other surgery were going on in the same area of the body, at the same time. Possible side effects include infection and bleeding… death may occur as a complication of general anesthesia if a major blood vessel is cut. The death rate following tubal ligation is about four per 100,000 sterilizations http://www.healthatoz.com/healthatoz/Atoz/ency/tubal_ligation.html, whereas risks with vasectomy are few. No death has ever been attributed to (vasectomy) http://www.emedicinehealth.com/articles/25921-2.asp.
Many times in my life I’ve heard women explain that they are having major surgery done to spare their male partner from a vasectomy (band-aid surgery). This just doesn’t seem right to me.
Well, not to sound snippy Ripley, but since they’re not your fallopian tubes, what seems right or wrong to you doesn’t really factor in.
It doesn’t seem right to me to expect my husband to undergo surgery when I’m the one who’s hard-core about the no-kids thing. Of course, it also doesn’t seem particularly right that I’m the one who assumes all the risk with other forms of birth control. With the combined-hormone stuff, I’m the one who has an increased risk of stroke. With Depo, I’m the one who risks being on an emotional rollercoaster ride from hell with no way to get off. With an IUD, I’m the one who risks bleeding to death from a perforated uterus. If whatever form we use fails, I’m the one who either takes the risks of pregnancy and childbirth, or the risks of having an abortion.
Frankly, women are used to having most of the responsibility and all the risk of contraception placed squarely on our shoulders. Is it fun? Hell, no. Is it right? Maybe not. Is it just the way life is? I’m afraid so. Railing about how it’s just not right won’t change that. Is there a risk associated with having one’s tubes tied? Of course there is. It’s about the same risk as any other type of laparascopic abdominal surgery.
I respect any woman’s right to choose what she does with her body.
However, women have been ‘railing’, as you put it, for many years. That’s how we got the right to vote, choices in birth control, etc.
I don’t believe in shutting up and settling for the status quo because I do believe speaking up can change things.
As mentioned before, I had the Essure procedure done. There have been no deaths with this procedure either. Very few complications. Usually there is no general anaesthesia with all its associated risks. Statistically, it was much safer than a vasectomy.
That said, if a traditional ligation was my only option, I would’ve had that done instead. Why ? Because I wanted to be sterile. What if my husband died, or we divorced ? Then I’d have to go through the whole birth control drama again. What about my nightmares about falling pregnant ? What about the annoying fear that niggled at the back of my head EVERY DAMN TIME I made love to my husband, wondering if this’d be the time when my life ended. I feel so much more at peace, relaxed and free without the worry of pregnancy. That’s what I wanted, and that’s why I chose to get sterilised.
It may be a case of “well we’ve had all the kids we want to have, one of us should look at a permanent solution. The statistically best choice is vasectomy, so that’s what we’ll do” with some people. With me, it was a burning desire to safeguard myself from ever falling pregnant.
Don’t presume to know the details behind anyone’s choice, and which choice would’ve been better. I would’ve gotten sterilised even if my husband got a vasectomy. I did it for myself.
[aside]Dammit, I love the word ‘spayed’! I’m going to refer to myself that way anyway !
[/aside]
I’m not presuming to understand why a younger woman uses terminology about her life ending if she became pregnant, if that’s what you mean.
Everything I’ve said is about women in general and it is in answer to what ‘my opinion on tubal ligation’ is. Or do I only get to have an opinion if I agree with everyone?
They’ve come out with some amazing contraception devices lately… the shot, patch, ring, a rainbow of pills… none of these work for me because the hormones in them mess me up (I’ve posted some of the side effects in other threads) Also I have high bloodpressure so the stroke risk is a lot higher for me.
I’ve had 2 C Sections. There isn’t a sane person on the planet who would risk using an IUD after that.
I’m 30 with two little kids. Condoms for the next 20+ years does not sound like fun to me.
If I wasn’t having surgery anyway my husband would have gotten a vasectomy. We had discussed this before I even got pregnant with the second munchkin.
I am at a point where a third pregnancy would kill me. Literally. The doctors said I was insane to have two children. My nephrologist said “People with your condition do not have children - at all!” So I guess I am one for the record books. And I like to think of myself as a younger woman still 
So for some people their life could end with a pregnancy. I know it would rip my heart apart to have to abort a child to save my life so we took the most permanent method we could to ensure that won’t happen. (They asked me about aborting my son and I refused… I had seen him on the ultrasound screen and there was no way I could make that choice then but after the hell that was my pregnancy with him I am fully aware that I can’t take that risk again)
The woman is the one who has to bear the pregnancy or make the decision to end the pregnancy. There is no amount of railing that will change that fact… we can’t legislate that men carry half/all/any of the children concieved in the relationship… Because of that many women are very passionate about making sure they have the control over wether or not they become pregnant - especially when pregnancy is dangerous or when they are vehement about remaining childless. I think this is why a woman would prefer the riskier procedure of a tubal to a vasectomy.
One other thing about tubals V vasectomies… Tubal is effective immediately… vasectomies need to be tested a bit of time later to be sure the pipes are clean. Maybe this makes people leery too?
You can have and speak any opinion you like, not that you need my permission.
But when you say things like:
“I’m puzzled as to why a woman in a long-term relationship, would put herself at risk with this surgical procedure”
you are going to have people responding, to explain why they made the choice they did, since you stated you were puzzled.
Another reason for my opting to have the surgery instead of my husband is the fact that I have the medical problem. Since the reason we are not having kids is mostly due to my end, it’s only right that I have the procedure done.
I’m in 100% agreement with Goo. I did it for me - for my own peace of mind.
My life wouldn’t end if I became pregnant. It would be an awful thing to go through, however, and I don’t think abortion is a good first choice for birth control. It is a last resort.
I had another option, since I knew I didn’t ever want kids. I got fixed.
You said:
Being ‘puzzled as to why…’ is not an opinion. Several people have explained their reasons and now you know why.
You are entitled to agree or disagree. That is an opinion.
You also said:
Railing will never change the fact that men don’t get pregnant. I didn’t have a tubal to spare my SO the pain of a vasectomy. I had a tubal to spare myself any concerns about becoming pregnant.
Only I can ensure that I will never become pregnant. Long term relationships end, new loves are discovered. I am happy and comfortable with my decision. That is all that matters to me.
I had a tubal 3.5 years ago. My husband absolutely refused to even discuss a vasectomy. It was funny really. He was irrational about it.
Anyway, something they don’t tell you is that menstrual bleeding might get heaver after a tubal. I’m not sure if this is a scientific fact or anecdotal information. I have recently had another procedure done called endometrial ablation to stop the very heavy bleeding.
After the tubal the worst part was taking off the bandaids, which were some kind of hospital issue that cause my skin to turn bright red. Other than that, it was really a breeze.
The other procedure has surprisingly caused no pain whatsoever, but I had a lot of trouble getting over the anesthetic.
It was just over a week ago and I still feel a little queazy (queezy?).
I had a tubal ligation when I was 22.
Your reasons sound good to me, I’d say go for it. I had my vasectomy at 23 for similar reasons.
You are right. I was trying to tippietoe around my real feelings about some women, not necessarily anyone on this board, that have gone through major surgery to spare ther husbands going through a vasectomy. They feel pity for their men and put themselves through what used to be a much more major procedure, than it is now.
Sometimes, I feel very discouraged that women seem to be making many more personal sacrifices than men, because we are physically able to bear children. What I failed to keep in mind is the great diversity of situations that can lead to a woman choosing sterilization. I appreciate those of you kind enough to share your personal experiences, providing me with a more informed vantage point.
I’m sorry if I came across as insulting or insensitve. That was not my intention.