I am a 30 year old woman considering tubal ligation. I am considering this for many reasons. The first reason is medical - if I stay on my meds, then the baby will be messed up; if I come off my meds, then I may be messed up and hence mess up the baby. Secondly, I don’t want kids. I don’t want them for many reasons; I’m a middle school teacher (automatic birth control), and my husband has 4 sisters who all have 2 kids each. If I want contact with younger kids, I can play with them and then send them back to their parents.
I figure if my husband and I change our minds, there are plenty of kids out there that need good homes.
I’m just about to turn 30, and have no desire for children, either.
I’m not so sure at this point I’m going to bother looking into tubal ligation. One of the reasons being I’d probably be hard pressed to find a doctor that would do it. I’d probably get the “you’ll change your mind” speech.
I just had a tubal 6 weeks ago. Similarly to the OP I take medications that are not pregnancy safe. I did come off my meds twice though for two beautiful kids. Of course pregnancy was hard and my body simply can’t handle it a third time so we went for the tubal.
My doctor was really good about handling it. He presented the failure rate (exceedingly small - don’t remember the exact number) and simply wanted to know I was sure this was what I really wanted since reversing one is pretty much impossible. I was told that most failures result in ectopic pregnancy so I am aware of that risk too.
I had them do mine before they sewed me up from the C section so I don’t know how recovery from a tubal alone would be. Obviously it would be easier than the 4 days in hospital and few weeks of no lifting or driving that I had.
If you want an alternative there is a procedure called Essure that is less invasive and inserts coils into the tubes that then form scar tissue and block the tubes. There have been some threads about that fairly recently. I considered this but since they had to have me opened up anyway the tubal was easier. Tubal is also effective immediately but Essure takes a few months? IIRC
You’ll probably get the ‘you’ll change your mind speech’ but if you are persistent and state your reasons clearly you should be able to find someone who will take you seriously. I think the doctors are afraid of lawsuits later down the line to the effect of ‘I can’t have kids now because he didn’t explain just how permanent ‘permanent’ really is!’ Leave it to a few to muck things up for the rest of the population. There have been some threads on that issue too. Good luck
Good for you. I’m impressed that you made such a huge decision without letting anyone else sway you one way or the other. At least one doctor is going to ask you “what if something happens to your child/husband, what then? You’ll want a(nother) child!”
I had a tubal when I was 27. To this day I’m ecstatic that I had the procedure done. My response to the (female) doctor who asked the above question was: “They aren’t appliances. I can’t replace them by getting another one.” It’s what finally convinced her after 1/2 hour of arguing that this was not a whim…I really meant to have the procedure done.
I did end up encountering difficulties. Fibroids and menorrhagia. I’m not sure if the tubal had anything to do with it, but two other women I’ve spoken with about it have had the same problem. I got a hysterectomy just before I turned 30. Which is what I wanted instead of the tubal in the first place. They left my ovaries. My mood swings calmed dramatically (my poor husband-he deserves a medal). I gained weight, but I’m taking it off. The biggest hassle was the insurance company. Of course. They made me get 5 different opinions. My original OB/Gyn finally told them that if they didn’t allow the procedure, he was going to have to continually give me injections every 3 weeks to control the menorrhagia. The injection cost was $500 at that time, no mark down. They finally caved.
I had mine after 3 kids- last two are twins. We are happy with the size of our family- and even if “something” happened, I could never replace them just by giving birth.
Congratulations on your decision and safe recovery from your procedure!!
I wanted to have it done in my early 20s, but some chauvinist Doctor with a “don’t worry your pretty little head about it” attitude told me that "oh, we don’t perform those for women as young as you.
Unfortunately, I was sufficiently both in awe of doctors, and naive to believe him.
I had it done when I was 31, just a few months after the birth of my son, who was an “ooops” baby.
I’ve never had any bad side effects, and after a good nap upon arriving home from the hospital, I was fine, not even much more than a slight soreness, similar to doing a strenuous set of crunches or something.
I’m very glad I did it.
On a side note, I haven’t once had any second thoughts about “maybe I’ll want other kids”. I think that for a lot of us, we pretty much just “know”.
If you are ABSOLUTELY SURE that you will NEVER want to give birth, have it done. I managed to get pregnant three times in two years (once on the Pill, once using foam and condoms together, and once with an IUD in place)(two miscarriages and one live birth, if you must know) and I had wanted a tubal BEFORE I’d ever been pregnant. After the tubal, I was much happier. Even tubal ligations are not 100% effective, but they’re very, very close to it. You’ll save a lot of money and a lot of worry if you have it done.
Honestly, your opinion is the only one that counts, but here’s my two cents worth:
Think about it long and hard. Then sit on the decision for a little while. Then revisit it and think about it long and hard again.
If it’s something you truly want to do, knowing it’s permanent, then go ahead and get it. Do not be put off by patronising doctors. If you keep searching, are articulate, mature and well-prepared you’ll be joining the ranks of the spayed in no time
I recently had the Essure procedure, which is a little different from a traditional ligation, but the results are similar in that the tubes are no longer open for business. I was 24 and the first doctor I saw agreed to do it. I’ve heard it’s a little harder to convince doctors in the US at a young age, but I’ve heard from many who’ve done it with perserverance and the right attitude.
If you decide to go ahead with it, I have a handful of stats I’ve found online regarding post-sterilisation regret, and I also asked my doctor afterwards what I did that convinced him to sterilise a 24 year old childfree woman, and he gave me some interesting feedback.
Vasectomies aren’t easily reversed … no method of surgical sterilization done correctly is. We looked into that too since we decided no more children and made the decision that if I had the baby vaginally hubby would get a vasectomy but if he was a section I’d get the tubal.
Why not a vasectomy? Well, different women have different reasons. Sometimes, like in Tanookie’s case, they’re already digging around in there anyway, so it makes more sense to add five minutes to her surgery than to make them each go under the knife. Other women have husbands who are unwilling to have someone cutting in their nad regions. Other women are afraid of the risk of pregnancy if they’re raped. Other women know they don’t want any kids, even though they’re not in a stable, long-term relationship yet, and don’t see the point of waiting around to get it done. For still others, it’s an issue of wanting to be in control of your own birth control.
That being said, if ease of reversal (or even the possibility of reversal) is a factor in your decision between vasectomy and tubal, you shouldn’t be considering either procedure. Just my couple pennies, though.
[nitpick] Goo, you’re not spayed, you’re just occluded. Spayed means they’ve yanked all that useless crap out of there.[/nitpick]
I had my Essure procedure done around the same time Goo did, a few months ago. I’m 29, almost 30, and no one ever tried to talk me out of it, since I don’t have children either.
The left occlusion didn’t take, and I may be looking at a tubal on that side. The doctor was going to talk with the Essure people, since it’s been 5 1/2 months since my surgery, but he’s on vacation right now, and won’t be back until next week. I can’t have another Essure done, because the damn micro-insert is just in there far enough that pulling it out could cause hemorrhaging (sp?), but isn’t in far enough to do anything.
Despite my problems, I definitely recommend looking into the Essure procedure before considering a tubal. It’s less invasive.
My doctor is willing to do a tubal on me, 32 years old, married, with no children, but I’m unwilling to go off Depo. It’d be nice to have something permanent, but I have no intention of doing the whole menstruation crap again that was ruining my life.
I had a tubal at the age of 27 right after the birth of my second child. That was 22 years ago and I have never regretted it. Got a little bit of grief from the doctor about how I was too young, and the what if something happens to your other two kids questions (what are they thinking???). But he agreed with little argumentt.
Not worrying about birth control was probably the best side effect, it’s amazing how that improves your sex life.
My husband volunteered to get a vasectomy. My reasoning for getting the tubal, which was kind of a pain because I did natural child birth and then had to be put under the next day for the surgery went as follows: If he got run over by a truck and I remarried I knew I would not want to get pregnant again. However, if I got run over by a truck he would probably remarry (he’s a real catch) and he and his new wife (who would probably be younger) might want kids.
My OB/GYN said no more babies for me and my husband would have to have a vasectomy. At my next monthly visit, he said he’d been thinking and my husband wasn’t the one who shouldn’t get pregnant, it wasn’t his body that shouldn’t go through another pregnancy, it was mine, and that life was long and the unforseen happens.
I was divorced 5 years later and remarried 7 years after that and so glad I had the tubal when I did that I celebrate its anniversary with what has become known as the tubal dance. Last time I was luckily circulating in a tubal surgery and got to do the tubal dance with tubes. The patient was delighted and the OB/GYNs still talk about it.
I don’t know why I’m sharing this with strangers…but FWIW:
My wife had had a tubal before we met, married and discussed the possibility of a family. She had her tubal reversed, and we now have two beautiful children–after the second of which, I had a vasectomy. And then a few years after that, she had a hysterectomy (fibroids).
So between the two of us, we’ve been sterilized 3 times. That ought to do it.
Had mine done at 23. Miraculously I was able to find a doctor that believed that I knew my own mind well enough to make this decision, in spite of never having married and never having kids. If I coulda had a hysterectomy, I would’ve done that instead. No babies, no thank you. Best opereation ever.
I say, you’re 30 years old, you know your own mind. Go for it. It’ll pay for itself in a few years with what you sace on birth control.
However, my mom tried to have it done when she was 26 with four (yes, 4) children, with the eldest in kindergarten. The doc told her that unless her age multiplied by the number of kids equalled 120, no go. :eek: Ditto with two of my sisters and my best friend. Had that been me, I’d have found another doctor. Backwards Indiana doc… :rolleyes:
That Essure thing sounds scary, though. Sounds awfully similar to an IUD, to me. Doesn’t it involve a higher risk of complications than a traditional tubal?
My story is the same as singular1’s, except I was 22. I’ve never regretted it.
I also loved the look on my Uncle’s face when he said to me condescendingly (he’s a really great guy, BTW, just this one issue sticks in my craw…) ‘You don’t want kids? Oh, you’ll change your mind someday.’
