After an extended-but-not-pathetic period of singlehood you embark upon a new love affair. The person in question is smart, hot, funny, financially-stable, and everything else you’re looking for in a partner. But, except for bed (where the sex in great), the new lover refuses to as much as hold your hand, whether in public or in private; and kissing is entirely off the table.
Are you bothered? How much, and why?
Poll in a moment. I would offer cheesecake to those who comment in the thread but then there would be less cheesecake for me, and I am very selfish.
Kissing and things of the sort are not REQUIRED to adequately show affection. Indeed, they are the most common methods, but if you have things that work for you then who cares what convention says?
If he/she makes you happy in every other way, then I don’t see why either would be a requirement.
I do plenty of both with my girlfriend, but that’s only because we both enjoy it and it makes us feel close to one another.
Are you a guy? Because if you are, the answer is clearly that, when you lean in for a the first kiss, she smiles, draws back slightly, and moves a hand to your privates.
Suppose that’s not an issue? That is, suppose he makes no bones about introducing you to people as his new squeeze; he invites you to both work and family events and walks you around to show you off, saying, “Hi, guys. This is sandra_nz, my new honey. She rocks beyond the telling of it, and her only flaw is that I didn’t meet her ten years ago.”
I’m a woman, and public smooching/caressing/PDA is pretty low on my preferences list for partners – but if someone refuses to touch in any way in public, EVER, there is something that I consider very severely wrong with them (or the relationship), and I dump them. They are taking a very extreme position.
I mean, unless I’ve misunderstood the OP you can’t even sit overly close to one another, lest your legs make contact, or loop arms on the street? Lean against their shoulder on a long train trip? Offer a goodbye kiss when being dropped off at the airport?
I picked “it would seriously bother me”, but I doubt we’d even get to the point of the hot monkey sex in the first place. This is a complete deal-breaker for me.
I am a physically affectionate person; I like to touch, kiss, snuggle, hug, hold hands, etc. Not in a “dude, get a room” way, but in a way that reaffirms our connection.
If my partner won’t happily do any of that, or doesn’t like it when I do the same, I will feel rejected and unloved. I’ve been in relationships like that, and I was absolutely miserable.
Yep. My last GF and I made a deal pretty early on that whenever we were together we were touching in some way. That sort of faded out towards the end of the relationship, and was, in fact, part of the reason the relationship ended.
I picked somewhat taken aback. I’m not a touchy-feely person, and I’d actually be fine with him “rarely” or “only occasionally” touching in public but never ever is a little troubling.