Oy.
Bless us, St. M.K.: Patron Saint of initials. Also Patron Saint of Paperclips.
Bless us, St. QuickSilver: Patron Saint of 100 post anniversaries. Conversely, Patron Saint of Thermometers.
Bless us, St. Sealemon: Patron Saint of UserNames That Swimmy Can’t See Without Hearing Harry Belafonte Say Them Out Loud. Also Patron Saint of Shrubberies.
Bless us, St. Chrisbar: Patron Saint of Newbies who have already caught on to the fact that nothing else matters, as long as your post count is high.
Bless us, St. Billdo: Patron Saint of Doperfests, and sexually suggestive usernames.
Bless us, St. Jeannie: Patron Saint of People in Bottles. Also Patron Saint of Dopers Nice Enought to Ask Politely For Sainthood.
Bless us, St. I.M.: Patron Saint of Dopers with Usernames that Swimmy Doesn’t Even Try And Pronounce, Much Less Understand. (if that is really your name, though, you are the Patron Saint of Ice Cream.)
Bless us, St. Ultress: Patron Saint of Haircare Products and Dirty E-mails. 
Bless us, Mr. Cynical: Patron Saint of Cannons. (I had to throw that one in there, somewhere, right?)
“I go on guilt trips a couple of time a year. Mom books them for me.” A custom made Wally .sig!
My iguana's sick.
He's all floppy. Could he have
Reptile dysfunction?
-Chef Troy, Haiku Master
)