Of What Would You be the Patron Saint?

In My Humble Opinion
1

So let’s say you’re being canonized by the Church (posthumously, of course). Of what do you think you would be the patron saint ? And what would you LIKE to be patron saint of? And what miracles would you perform to get the honor?

I’d probably be made the patron saint of glory. But I’d like to be the patron of proper grammar and syntax. My miracle would be causing all the internet posting in the world to be reasonable and well-informed for a full day.

2

Monster movies

Especially the King Kong/Beast from 20,000 Fathoms/ Godzilla variety where its a big galumphing thing destroying a city.

3

Spare Tires. Of both the rubber and stomach kind.

4

Subject-Verb Agreement

5

Patron Saint of Muddling Through.

6

I’m a mercurial fellow…

7

Patron Saints

8

Recommendation Letters. My miracles would be getting really wonderful kids with weaker applications into schools that were good matches.

9

Procrastination.

10

Nail biters.

11

Could it be voodoo instead of catholic? (pretty much the same idea)

We were in NOLA, checking out a voodoo shop. At the time I had a cannabis garden that my gf found impressive. She purchased a statue of an agricultural woman who would help me with my gardening. It was $5 extra for a blessing.

12

Inertia

13

The Patron Saint of Really Bad Timing.

As in, you go though life, doing the right things, for the right reasons, and then Life repeatedly kicks you square in the nuts for your trouble(s), as if to say, “Well, then, fuck you; didn’t anyone tell you that Nice Guys finish last?”

Is that a thing? Or is it just Monday?

14

Patron saint of:

  • terrible singing
  • having a song for everything
  • ballad meter
15

Parallel Series

16

I would be St. Indolensus, the patron saint of not doing any more than you really have to.

17

For that your name would have to actually be Indolensus.

I’d like to either steal the crews of nuclear-powered ships (in any medium) from my own naming patron, or join my birth-day patron in protecting wiseasses and protecting other people from being wiseassed to death. If we’re going to be serious, I’d like to be one of the patrons of communication, with emphasis in avoiding miscommunications.

18

Patron Saint of Metal, which is great because that’s what I’d want to be patron saint of. And my miracles would all involve helping things to totally fucking rock!

19

Whining.

20

Patron saint of laziness. I’d actually be okay with that.

Don’t really feel like doing any miracles though.