Your Patron Saint Designation by . . . Swimming Riddles

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
141

::snicker:: a list? A LIST? Are you mad, man? I’m lucky I have a date book that has the correct year in it. Organization is not Swiddles middle name. Karen is. But if you would like to be the official List Keeper of the Patron Saints, I’ll tack that on to your title.

As for the rest of you, I have three exams in the next two days, I fear your titles will have to wait. Sorry. I’ll get around to them. (it helps if you give me something to use as a canonization. Otherwise you get stuck with Lighters or something. [see above])

142

// is there such a thing as a semi-on-topic hijack? :confused: //

next one who says “Fates a bitch” gets whacked with my measuring stick.

**Bless us, St. lachesis: Patron Saint of Those Who Are Hereby Commanded to Go Forth And Learn How Apostrophes Should Be Properly Utilized In Their Signature. And Patron Saint of Remote Controls. **

hmph!!! au contraire, ma chere. i spent enough time as a secretary to have a pretty good grasp on punctuation. i debated long and hard where and if that apostrophe should appear. the sig was a clue and an explanation of itself and my ID. in those circumstances, to say “Fate’s” is incorrect–the Fates are plural.

you have, so to speak, rather struck a nerve.

on the other claw, the Remote Control reference is a positive HOOT, particularly since the hubby and i are feuding over the fact that he can’t roust himself to reprogram the #&^% thing, and i’m tired of doing it for him. obviously Divinely Inspired! :smiley:

143

Swimmy -

I know you’re busy, what with verifying miracles and all on top of taking finals, but could I please be sainted?

As I don’t want to be stuck being the patron saint only of some inanimate object (although I wouldn’t mind one of those double canonizations you’ve been dolling out), here is some info on me:

  1. Kepi is the Hawaiian translation of my real name (Jeff).
  2. I worked in a movie theater in high school and college, and I have a kickass collection of movie posters from the 1980s to prove it.
  3. I’ve driven almost all of the old Route 66.
  4. I’ve been known to eat half a package of Oreo cookies in one sitting.

Hope this gives you something to work with.

Thanks.

144

Alright, I might start something in great debates over this, but in the phrase “Fates a bitch” isn’t “fates” a conjunction of “fate” and “is,” therefore, wouldn’t it deserve an apostrophe? Even if you are referring to the mythological Fates, the phrase should be “The Fates are all bitches.” or “Fates’ are bitches” if you want to show possession. While I have no doubt that you know what you’re doing, I don’t understand your sig, and therefore, the canonization sticks. For now. Explain the logic in your grammer, and I might recant it, and give you a more appropriate one.

Kepi: I can’t be creative now, I’m sorry. I hit the board a couple of times a day for sanity breaks between writing long portions of my case studies. However, if you want to bribe me with movie posters, your canonization might appear a bit faster.

In my thread, absolution equals bribery.

145

Alright, I might start something in great debates over this, but in the phrase “Fates a bitch” isn’t “fates” a conjunction of “fate” and “is,” therefore, wouldn’t it deserve an apostrophe? Even if you are referring to the mythological Fates, the phrase should be “The Fates are all bitches.” or “Fates’ are bitches” if you want to show possession. While I have no doubt that you know what you’re doing, I don’t understand your sig, and therefore, the canonization sticks. For now. Explain the logic in your grammer, and I might recant it, and give you a more appropriate one.

Kepi: I can’t be creative now, I’m sorry. I hit the board a couple of times a day for sanity breaks between writing long portions of my case studies. However, if you want to bribe me with movie posters, your canonization might appear a bit faster.

In my thread, absolution equals bribery.

146

No rush, sweetie–I fully understand finals psychosis, being in the midst of it myself. I really should be writing a paper about the history of the Mariner (Mars) program right now, but of course I’m here. Oh well–Back to work!

147

No rush, sweetie–I fully understand finals psychosis, being in the midst of it myself. I really should be writing a paper about the history of the Mariner (Mars) program right now, but of course I’m here. Oh well–Back to work!

148

That’s OK, Swimmy. Probably the only posters I would be willing to give up are for some 80s dreck like Rhinestone, Jaws 3-D, or Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. Somehow I doubt that these would work in my favor.

I’ll just wait. After all, patience is a virtue.

149

I’m Athiestic, Apathetic and unemployed…but I still have to jump at a chance to be Cononized. Do I have to be Martyred or perform some miracle, Swiddles?

150

Is it too late for a small fry?

151

You know, I should be studying right now, too…

Whenever you get the time, SR.

152

Whenever you’re not busy, Swimmles, do you have a saint designation for a Latter-day Saint? One named after a god of the underworld? (No, I mean an icy planet – no, wait, a lovable Disney character – that’s it!)

153

I know I don’t post very often, and no one probably knows a whole lot about me, and that you’re busy, but. . .

::Breaks into song::

Saint me baby one more time!

::Ducks::

(No, you haven’t already sainted me, so I guess you can’t REALLY “saint me one more time”, but you know what I meant. Apologies if the above song line has already been used. . .I scanned the thread, but it is pretty long. No, I do not like Britney Spears. That is all.)

154

ok, i’m back again.

Swimming Riddles, on my questioned Sainthood:

**Alright, I might start something in great debates over this, but in the phrase “Fates a bitch” isn’t “fates” a conjunction of “fate” and “is,” therefore, wouldn’t it deserve an apostrophe? Even if you are referring to the mythological Fates, the phrase should be “The Fates are all bitches.” or “Fates’ are bitches” if you want to show possession. While I have no doubt that you know what you’re doing, I don’t understand your sig, and therefore, the canonization sticks. For now. Explain the logic in your grammer, and I might recant it, and give you a more appropriate one. **

ahh, and you were sooo close there! [by-the-by…no, “fates” is not a conjunction of “fate” and “is”; there’s a possibility it might be a contraction, but i don’t see the two of them aligning anytime soon. and shouldn’t there be a comma after the first usage of “Fates a bitch”? :stuck_out_tongue: ]

yes, i am referring to the allegedly-mythological Fates. but who do you ever hear saying ‘The Fates are bitches’, or other more accurate renditions along those lines? nooooo, everyone goes for the easy slur. they can’t even bother to remember that We’re a plural! my Sisters and i have been maligned enough, i say, and i for one will no longer tolerate it! (and just who are these idiots, anyway, who apparently think things are going to start getting better for them after they go and insult us? :confused: )

would you feel better about it if i italicized “Fates” in my sig line? :wink:

155

can i be the saint of small mom+pop mexican restaraunts in southern california which don’t get a good rating but serve such great food we all love them anyway?

156

ALRIGHTY. Exams are over, life is fine. If I could just get rid of this painful stress-induced knot in my neck, I’d be golden. Not Eve Golden, but golden none-the-less. But hey, enough banter.

Bless us, St. singlefile: Patron Saint of Playing Well With Others, Running with Scissors, Participates Well In Class, and Other Esteemed Attributes of the Third Grade. (get it? cause he/she is singlefile? like standing in line? Eh, forget it.) Also the Patron Saint of Root Beer.

Bless us, St. evilbeth: Patron Saint of Procrastinators. (can I get that scholarship now?)

Bless us, St. Geobabe: Patron Saint of Tic Tacks.

Bless us, St. Scarlet Pimpernel: Patron Saint of Danishes. (as in "mmm…this Danish and coffee combo is yummy!)

Bless us, St. Michi: Patron Saint of Duct Tape. (and contractors everywhere light tributes to you…)

Bless us, St. Nightingale: Patron Saint of Colored Hilighters. (I can color-code!!!)

Bless us, St. ssskuggiii: Patron Saint of Non Sequitirs. Consider it an upgrade.

Bless us, St. Rosethorn: Patron Saint of Prickly Flowers

Bless us, St. Sue Duhnym: Patron Saint of Funky Hawiian shirts. (Swiddles broke out the summer wardrobe today…)

Bless us, St. wierddave: Patron Saint of Wierdness. (oooh, lucky…)

Bless us, St. Lexicon: Patron Saint of Eagerly Appreciative Voyeurs of Catfights. Also Patron Saint of Double Sided Tape.

Bless us, St. pipefitter: Patron Saint of Plumbers and Male Porn Stars. (Wally already got Porn Actresses, I checked. Sorry.)

Bless us, St. Kepi: Patron Saint of the Film Stylings of Corey Feldman. (do you have a poster for Rock and Roll High School? THAT would be a find. :wink: )

Bless us, St. Occam: Patron Saint of the Apathetic. Conversely, Patron Saint of Alternative Rock.

Bless us, St. saucy potato: Patron Saint of Tubers.

Bless us, St. TheUnforgiven: Patron Saint of Those Who Put Off Studying In Order To Surf The Boards. (I invoked you a couple times this week, myself.)

Bless us, St. pluto: Patron Saint of Goofy Disney Dogs That Don’t Look Like Goofy, THE Disney Dog, Gods of The Netherworlds, but Not the Netherlands, And Rinky Dink Plantets That Are Essentially Giganic Balls Of Rock And Ice. But Not Shrinky Dinks.

Bless us, St. Garfield: Patron Saint of Blond Teenage No-Talents With Breast Implants. Also Patron Saint of Candy Corn.

Bless us, St. Brock: Patron Saint of Mexican Resturants in General. (more than you asked for!)

As for the Fates thing, there are two definitions of “fate”. One is of the traditional mythological definition: three goddesses that determine the course of your life. The other is a concept. To quote Merrium Webster:

As a principle, it is singular. Therefore the use of “a bitch” is correct when referring to it as a priciple, ie: Fate is a bitch, or compounded (you were right on that, my brain fart) Fate’s a bitch. The “is” is a third singular verb.

As the goddesses, “Fates” is plural. Therefore, “a” as a preposition is incorrect, as the proper preposition for plural usage is “are,” as that is the plural form of “be.” Therefore, the correct usage would be “The Fates are bitches.”

I, unfortunately, took Latin for a long while, and also edited a paper. As a result of those two things, I am the most anal retentive grammar chick in the world, especially when it comes to plurality and singularity matching in a sentance structure. Therefore, the canonization stays.

Along those lines, may I submit my favorite fate related quote, courtesy of one of my favorite guilty pleasures, Kenneth Branagh’s * Dead Again *. “Fate: The only cosmic force with a tragic sense of humor.”

157

Additions:

Bless us, St. JohnLarrigan: Patron Saint of Sorely Missed Expatriate Dopers. Also the Patron Saint of the oft-mentioned Guinness (Caith siar e agus na lig anair e), and Those Yummy Shamrock Marshmellows in Lucky Charms.

And some needed upgrades:

And Bless us, St. Coldfire, Patron Saint of Rock and Roll (everything excepting Alternative Rock, I already gave that out.) Also the Patron Saint of Statisics Students.

Bless us, St. Wally. Patron Saint of Putzes, and Porno Actresses, Strippers, and (conversely) Heart Medication. Also Patron Saint of Dopers Who Get Stuck Thinking Up Arcane Titles and Stuff for Other Dopers. (wasn’t the sig thread the first of its kind?)

There you are. Did I forget anyone? Is anyone unhappy with their canonization? (no guaruntees I’ll change it, though…)

158

Thanks Swimmy!

If you get a chance and feel like it, I would love to be double-canonized.

159

I know this is a bit late, Ms. Riddles, but how often does one get a chance at instant canonization ? So, if you could overlook the somewhat delayed appplication and spare a moment ? I can’t help but thinking that a framed certificate of sainthood on the wallwould impress the hell out of my colleagues…

160

I know this is a bit late, Ms. Riddles, but how often does one get a chance at instant canonization ? So, if you could overlook the somewhat delayed appplication and spare a moment ? I can’t help but thinking that a framed certificate of sainthood on the wall would impress the hell out of my colleagues…