Your plans for world domination

I have observed that nobody is able to resist poping bubble wrap. I don’t know if it is inherent in our DNA, but everyone I’ve ever seen just cannot help but pop this amazing stuff. So I figure it would be the perfect substance to aid in my quest for world domination.

Here is how it would work:

First, buy enough stock in companies that produce bubble wrap… enough so that you can take direct control of supervision and production.

Then, buy out only the top medical research facilities in the world. Use them to create the ultimate genetic altering bacteria strain that would cause people to follow you, and only you, unconditionally.

Introduce said bacteria strain into each bubble in the bubble wrap at all of your bubble wrap production facilities. Sell the bubble wrap to all of your major companies that require packaging material, and you now have the your mind-controling bu bubble wrap distributed around the world. Since people everywhere cannot resist popping the stuff, you are now in the position of becoming the next world leader.

So tell me what your so called plans for world domination are… no matter how ludicrous. Include all of the juicy details and whether or not it involves lime green jello.

PS. No lime green jello is harmed or involved in this plan.

My plan for world domination is to start with 3-4 cities, establishing strongpoints at key geographic points. I’ll sign treaties with neighboring empires, bribing them if need be, and then switching to an economic mode with spies at key positions to bribe attacking units, thereby freeing production away from military units and towards building.

I’ll build the Colossus early in my best city, then build Copernicus’s Observatory and Newton’s College in the same city, giving me a 300% knowledge boost in that city, plus the trade benefit with the Colossus, so I’ll hold off on discovering flight to keep the Colossus going. In another city I’ll nab King Richard’s Crusade and use it to create caravans to pump more resour5ces into Wonder production, including Leonardo’s Workshop in a third city. Once that happens I’ll be sitting pretty in technology, so I’ll just drive ahead with the discoveries until I get Mobile Warfare and Fission, and then I can “nuke-n-tank” enemy cities to my heart’s delight.

Huh?

Oh, sorry, you meant the REAL world? I was talking about the world in “Civilization II.” :slight_smile: No Jell-O involved.

World domination is so easy. All you have to do is earn a lot of money. You could do this is many ways. Probably the easiest way is to carefully monitor Alan Greenspan’s health. Every time that he is about to cough, you sell short on all your stocks, and when the market tumbles, you rake in the profits.

Once you have enough money, you buy a controlling interest in every television station that runs “The Simpsons” in syndication. You then place subliminal messages in every episode, and the entire Simpsons-viewing population is soon under your command.

After that, you start a holy war between Simpsons viewers and everybody else. Simpsons viewers will clearly have an advantage, since they know a great deal of information, such as how to knock someone unconscious with a can of beer and a paint mixer. Once the Simpsons viewers have killed off everybody else, you order them to start worshiping you, and then you’re the supreme ruler of the universe.

Well if I was a giraffe this is how I’d rule the world. I’d wake up before all the other giraffes really early in the morning. While I’m awake I will eat all the leaves of the trees. When the other giraffes wake up they will have no food and they will die. Then when most of the giraffes die I will take all the leaves off the trees and hold them hostage. They must do as I wish or they will die because of starvation. Then I will be king giraffe and they will all bow to me!

**They all mocked my genius! BUT I’LL SHOW THEM ALL! Equipped with my Esoteric Radio Death Ray, my Secret Society-- The Radio League Of Evil-- shall CONQUER THE WORLD!!!

BWAAHH-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!**

I got my Bachleors in Mad Science. :slight_smile:

Who wants to be my Igor? My Masked Minions? The jobs are open. No pay, but when I succeed, those who follow me shall rule over all!

My plans for world domination are coming along just fine, thank you.

BTW, apologies in advance for that little dust-up coming in Holland. It’s part of a trade-off I had to make with the Illuminati. On the plus side, everybody’s gonna looove the end result-glow in the dark tulips!

It’s just this kind of thread that reminds me how much of my life I’ve wasted. I mean, here I am, 24 years old, and beyone perfecting an evil laugh (mwahahaha), my plans for world domination are seriously underdeveloped. I really must knuckle down and work out how to take over the world if I want to have an opportunity to use that evil laugh I’ve worked on so long. Mwahahahaha.

I’m a discredit to meglomaniacs everywhere. [hangs head in shame].

cough sorry, but I’ve already started on the bubblewrap/world domination angle.

See my World Domination Headquarters http://opalcat.com/index.html
and my bubblewrap page
http://opalcat.com/bubblewrap.html

So you’ll have to think of something else.

Are you pondering what I’m pondering?

Dragwyr: Fenris, are you pondering what I’m pondering?
Fenris: Durrr…I think so, Dragwyr, but won’t the Mods get mad if you short-sheet them all?
Dragwyr: <slaps forehead> No, you dunderhead.
Fenris: Oh. So, anyway, whadda you wanna do tonight, Dragwyr?
Dragwyr: The same thing we do every night! Try to take over the world

<song>
They’re Fenris and Dragwyr, Fenris and Dragwyr
One is kinda loopey, the other drinks beer
To prove their Doper worth
They’ll overthrow the Earth
They’re Fenris, they’re Fenris and Dragwyr
</end song>

Fenris

“It’s so hard to hire a good Mad Scientist any more.”

LOL, Fenris. I just about choked on my drink I laughed so hard.

One thing, though. You forgot to say, “Narf!”

Domination by Jello would be a cinch, all right. Just a touch of opium in each box, to make everyone lethargic. They would eat dinner, eat dessert, and wake up under a new regime, to be immediately called up for duty. Of course, you would do this one province at a time, to avoid spreading your armies to thinly over the planet.

Personally, I’m a big fan of Bill Gates’ plan to take over the Earth. And no, he hasn’t done it quite yet.

He actually stumbled onto the idea by accident. I mean, hey, he only started out trying to be richest man on Earth. Once that was out of the way he got pretty board. Then, one day, while skinning raccoons to feed his school of piranhas (what else are you gonna do with all that money?), one of his gardeners happened to mention that he’d heard a rumor that every Windows machine in the world was silently flashing subliminal messages at the masses, bending toward the control of Bill himself.

In his usual fashion, Bill calls an Emergency Meeting of the board (any board, I don’t know) and reveals this plan. After he’s beaten the scoffers to death with a baseball bat (because he can, that’s why), the remainder of the board agreed.

Unfortunately, since video rendering and monitor technology has improved so much in the last few years, the flickering that initially seemed to doom the plan has vanished and now we are all completely unaware that this is happening, even now.

The one detail which hasn’t yet leaked out is the exact date that he plans to “turn on his followers” and proceed with the actual domination/worship thing.

It is widely believed by schoolchildren the world over, that if you turn off the light in the bathroom, spin 8 times with your eyes closed while chanting “Bill Gates is my God”, then opening eyes in the pitch black and looking into the pitch black mirror, that you’ll actually see the badly combed hair and cheesy smile of the Great One himself.

*Note: Details may have been embellished for entertainment purposes.

Dammit.

What he actually got was bored, not board.

I hate when that happens.