Your spouse gets a late-night call from a coworker genuine needing rescue. Do you want them to go?

Having read only the hypothetical, and not the responses, I’m posting to say “hell yes, we’re going to get Amy, her children, and whatever else Amy needs.” Been there, done that, and the reason we both go is that one of us can provide security for the spouse helping carry babies out of that hellhole.

In the situation I’m referring to, it was my co-worker, and I had seen the black eyes and bruises. I’d heard the pleading phone calls “we’re short today, so I’ll be an hour late, please don’t be mad.” I had been there myself, had made all of the excuses about walking into a door frame. And my husband is a cop. He’s heard it too. The only reason I didn’t go alone was that Tony knew I’d be foolhardy if I had to be, plus Tony used to work in that county and could call in favors if needed. When Jen was really ready to leave, I’d have died or killed before I’d have let anyone stop her.

As for jealousy, being afraid that the situation was ripe for my husband might cheat? If he wants to, he will. If I can’t trust him, that has nothing to do with whether his colleague or mine is in a crappy situation.

I know it makes me sound like a judgmental asshole, but I don’t care. When the DV victim in my home made my sister and me DV victims by association, my sympathy for initial victims dried up completely. It’s like that part of my brain is broken, and I don’t care enough to fix it.

Either get the fuck out or don’t, I can’t change you. But I won’t associate with you if you don’t.

My partner and I would go together, but we’d be crazy to take her to a private home. Perhaps the police or a shelter.

Maybe that would be part of the discussion with Amy - we’ll come help you, but we will be calling the cops as part of this scenario - as I said earlier, crimes have been committed, and I will call the police. You can’t drop that kind of bomb on relative strangers then dictate how they will respond to help you.