Your Super Ultimate Sci Fi and Fantasy Showdown

So we’ve all seen (and participated in) the discussions and arguments of one character/ship/weapon/magic wand against another and which fictional character/weapon/vehicle/snack treat would win in a showdown between the two. The two popular ones I can think of offhand are The Enterprise versus a Star Destroyer and Batman versus anyone.

This week I had (what I thought was) an interesting thought: What if a Weeping Angel fought against I Dream of Jeannie? Who would win this one? It could easily go either way. What is the upper limit of Jeannie’s power? Could she blink an Angel into the middle of the sun? Is the speed of her blink faster than the speed that the Angel can move? If there is anyone else there, I would say that there is no contest – Jeannie would win – but what if the two were alone? Could she wink? Would the law of diminishing returns that turned a creepy and interesting new antagonist into a goofy joke about the Statue of Liberty keep the Angel from being effective? Would there, could there be a draw?

My take: With enough distance between the two, Jeannie can blink the Weeping Angel into the center of the Earth or blink up a mirror and show it to the Angel. Jeannie wins.

OK, what’s your yours? It can be fascinating, dramatic, funny, or ridiculous. I just want to hear a good match up, who would win, and why.

I don’t watch Doctor Who so I’m not up on Weeping Angels. But let’s not forget that Jeannie has a critical weakness. Her bottle. So any fight against a teleporter is going to result in a win for the teleporter.

Ex: Jeannie vs. Tabitha Stevens. One wrinkled nose later and Jeannie is out of the game.

Let’s also not forget that both are partially protected by the power of comedy. If Jennie does manage to teleport Samantha into the sun…Samantha is just going to reappear with singed hair while she holds for a laugh track.

Quick rundown: They’re creatures who are “quantum locked,” which means that they turn to stone when observed by any other living creature. But when you’re not looking at them – if you even blink – they’re incredibly fast. They usually cover their own eyes to avoid seeing, and thus paralyzing, one another, giving them the appearance of weeping statues. Hence the name.

The point of the OP is that Jeannie can easily blink them away – but when she closes her eyes, they move like lightning.

Dean Martin (Rio Bravo) vs. Robert Mitchum (El Dorado.)

Bonus round: James Caan vs. Ricky Nelson.

Extra bonus round: Angie Dickinson vs. Charlene Holt.

In a different genre, the “Hogan’s Heroes” team vs. “The Rat Patrol” team. (This one is much like Captain America vs. Batman: everything depends on the venue. Open combat, Rat Patrol guns the Heroes down dead: sneaking around in the woods at night, the Heroes befuddle the Rats with tricks and traps and Carter impersonating Sgt. Troy’s voice.)

ETA: Oops, not sf or fantasy. Sorry. Gonna leave these here anyway 'cause I think they’re fun.

Kolchak vs. Mike Hammer.

Who will monologue each other to death first.

“It was a cold day in the windy city, the PI who had been hounding me all day was getting under my skin. I was just about to confront him when…something got under his skin”

“I never liked Chicago, it definitely wasn’t my kind of town. And the bum reporter I was trying to collect from wasn’t making my appreciation any greater. And to top it all off, it looked like the hack had sicced some members of the Goon Squad on me. I don’t know who these Halloween rejects were supposed to be, but Mrs. Hammer’s son doesn’t scare easy.”

Probably too obvious, but John Carter of Mars. vs. Tarzan.

Dynamite Comics explored a charming crossover showdown in “Vampirella vs. Fluffy the Vampire Killer,” which, although having to go the name-change route for want of licensing approval, actually handled the showdown quite well. Some damn funny lines.

And how about Bram Stoker vs. Mary Shelley? No, I mean the authors!


E E. Smiths’ Lensmen vs. the Green Lantern Corps. I’m not sure how it would come out but it would be fun to watch.

Ian Banks’ Interesting Times Gang vs. Cthulhu and the other Old Ones. I think the Interesting Times Gang hold a decisive edge, being about a million times smarter than Cthulhu and more powerful … but once again, fun to watch.

Evil Captor: Once the Lensmen figure out the “color yellow” vulnerability, things go bad for the Lanterns… (You’d think, by now, half the DC universe should know that trick. Just paint your spaceships yellow!)

In terms of described power levels, weren’t the Lensmen out there shoving entire galaxies around? Or am I misremembering how powerful they were?

Like you say, fun to watch…um…from a very safe distance!

I’m not sure, it’s been a very long time since I read a Lensman story. I just remember them constantly “levelling up” along with the bad guys and eventually getting ridiculously powerful … very DragonballZ. Frankly, I always thought the Green Lanterns were an obvious copycat of the Lensmen.

Well, just don’t say that near Arisia.

The original Lensmen (i.e. in the stories by Doc Smith - I haven’t read any of the later additions by other authors) didn’t have that kind of power. There were battles waged by flinging planets at one another, but that was done by good old fashioned science, not by the Lensmen themselves.

And the Green Lanterns were originally conceived as a “tribute” to the Lensmen - that is, they wanted to do a Lensmen comic book, but couldn’t get the rights, so they changed it slightly.

Jeannie shouldn’t have any problem with a Weeping Angel: Just call out for someone else to come give her a hand, so the other person can watch the Angel for the millisecond needed for Jeannie to blink.