Your toothless, 61-times pregnant sister-momma slurps it from Army boots, orcenio

[VinylTurnip]

I nominate Gyrate for the silver lining to this exploding dye-pack of shit.

[Crotalus]

@VinylTurnip

I nominate Gyrate for the silver lining to this exploding dye-pack of shit.

I agree. Great post.

[SmellMyWort]

@ambushed

…mocking such an infantile rant from orcenio makes me look like an idiot…

Quoted for truth.

Also, the 1990s called and they want your insult via comparison to Appalachian people back. You could have at least called orcenio the retarded baby of a former Alaskan Governor. Get with the times.

[Gyrate]

Thank you all; you’re too kind.

I should add, in case there’s any doubt, that I don’t think ambushed is stupid or “faking smarts” or using vocabulary he (?) doesn’t normally use. I’m sure he (? again) is quite intelligent and well-educated. It was never about that.

[FoieGrasIsEvil]

@magellan01

ambushed,

You 're really coming off poorly, here. And I don’t think it’s true that you always write this way. My recollection of your posts in the past is that as wrong as you might have been (;)), your writing wasn’t so painfully affectatious. It reeks of effort, and hurts to read. It’s like listening to one of those American Idols first-round cuts who is just absolutely convinced he can sing but couldn’t carry a tune if it had shoulder straps and was dipped in crazy glue. It’s as if you’re really eager to talk smart but smart isn’t your first language. I don’t think you’re a dope, but you’re coming off as a schmuck. I think the problem might be that you just don’t do well arguing emotionally and incorporating snark.

I think the snark was well-incorporated (and sometimes funny!), but the whole rant is just too over the top, too…forced. Uncalled for, even.

But what do I know, I’m just a big dummy-head.

[Enderw24]

Question: will using six dollar words in a refutation of a minor point which completely blows the entire argument out of proportion endear me to Internet users?

Research: the internets appear to be filled with scruffy nerf-herders

Hypothesis: my intelligence will so overwhelm the hoi polloi that rants on such a topic will be met with a sense of awe reserved for dignitaries and/or Egyptian gods.

Test: I argue on the interwebs. Then start a pit thread on said argumento

Analysis: the retards appear to be rising up against the brilliant shine of my intelligence and wit.

Conclusion: I’ve made a terrible mistake.

[Ace309]

I was taught a useful epistemological heuristic to be applied during debates.

@ambushed

Clearly you did not sufficiently comprehend my remark, then. Consider re-reading it.

If someone says this, it’s more likely than not that person is an asshole.

[Gyrate]

@Enderw24

Question: will using six dollar words in a refutation of a minor point which completely blows the entire argument out of proportion endear me to Internet users?

Research: the internets appear to be filled with scruffy nerf-herders

Hypothesis: my intelligence will so overwhelm the hoi polloi that rants on such a topic will be met with a sense of awe reserved for dignitaries and/or Egyptian gods.

Test: I argue on the interwebs. Then start a pit thread on said argumento

Analysis: the retards appear to be rising up against the brilliant shine of my intelligence and wit.

Conclusion: I’ve made a terrible mistake.

Yours,

Ignatius J Reilly

[Pedant] And it’s just “hoi polloi”, not “the hoi polloi”) [/pedant]

[overlyverbose]

@Gyrate

Right. The more erudite approach didn’t work. Let’s try a more earthy metaphor, since that seems to be another popular form of expression for you.

Ambushed, you seem to think that you’re engaged in an intellectual dick-measuring contest and you’ve flopped yours out on the bar. The problem is that the rest of the room is looking at the guy with his dick on the bar and is edging away in disgust, while you think everyone is just jealous or afraid to compete.

Put it away, please.

I have absolutely no skin in this game, and this just made my day.

To the OP: People who attempt to demonstrate their intelligence by using a pompous writing style often find that instead of showing an impressive wit, they’ve proven their lack of intelligence and, frequently a lion’s share of insecurity. They also come off as arrogant assholes. If you truly do write this way, good luck swaying anyone to your side. In the meantime, please remove your head from your ass. I’ll sit back and wait for the pop as it comes out. It’s gotta be nice and snug in there.

[Crotalus]

@Enderw24

Question: will using six dollar words in a refutation of a minor point which completely blows the entire argument out of proportion endear me to Internet users?

Research: the internets appear to be filled with scruffy nerf-herders

Hypothesis: my intelligence will so overwhelm the hoi polloi that rants on such a topic will be met with a sense of awe reserved for dignitaries and/or Egyptian gods.

Test: I argue on the interwebs. Then start a pit thread on said argumento

Analysis: the retards appear to be rising up against the brilliant shine of my intelligence and wit.

Conclusion: I’ve made a terrible mistake.

You have conclusively demonstrated that you are not a scientist. Only someone with a grammar school understanding of science would reason like that.

I also have a feeling that our OP works in academia, might even have one of them PhDs.

[Cat_Whisperer]

@Gyrate

<snip>
you seem to think that you’re engaged in an intellectual dick-measuring contest and you’ve flopped yours out on the bar. The problem is that the rest of the room is looking at the guy with his dick on the bar and is edging away in disgust, while you think everyone is just jealous or afraid to compete.

Put it away, please.

Is this too long for a sig line?

[Crotalus]

@Cat_Whisperer

Is this too long for a sig line?

Just use “Put it away, please.” The cool kids will know what you mean.

[elucidator]

“Well, I’ll be darned, I didn’t know you were Japanese!”

[The_Weird_One]

announcer-voice And it’s Enderw24 against Gyrate in a close battle to win the thread! Meanwhile, ambushed is running in the opposite direction and yelling at everyone else for going the wrong way!

[magellan01]

@Crotalus

I also have a feeling that our OP works in academia, might even have one of them PhDs.

No friggin’ way.

[Rysdad]

@Gyrate

Ambushed, you seem to think that you’re engaged in an intellectual dick-measuring contest and you’ve flopped yours out on the bar. The problem is that the rest of the room is looking at the guy with his dick on the bar and is edging away in disgust, while you think everyone is just jealous or afraid to compete.

Put it away, please.

This post needs a name…The Parable of the Ambushed, maybe. Or, possibly, The Epistle of Gyrate to the Ambushians.

Learn it. Live it. Love it.

[Rysdad]

[sub](missed edit window)[/sub]

…or maybe the Ambushed Peter Principle?

[Malthus]

@Rysdad

[sub](missed edit window)[/sub]

…or maybe the Ambushed Peter Principle?

I dunno exactly what this thread’s about, but it is still full of win.

[Crotalus]

@Rysdad

[sub](missed edit window)[/sub]

…or maybe the Ambushed Peter Principle?

I like this one a lot.

[bucketybuck]

@ambushed

Ooops! I meant to ask you, oh sage, if you would enlighten me, please, on what forensic basis, exactly, do you contend I employed but “bluff, bluster and sesquipedalian abuse” to challenge orcenio’s fifth-grade EEE-ZEE Cookbook view of working science? I’d really like for you to explain it to me, in the littlest words you can for a dumb-shit philosopher like myself.

Alice?

Perhaps not.