After reading Opal’s pit thread about a pop ad from heck it reminded of my
Most Embarrassing Errection.
All of us guys have had them, now here is mine.
Tenth Grade. English Class. We were having The Scarlett Letter inflicted on us for the fall semester. Yes, that’s right, one book in the entire semester. The school I attended was fairly old and in the winter rooms were either boiling hot from the steam heat or freezing cold. (from the lack of steam heat) Or there was a third condition that my english class fell into and that was a room with boiling hot zones and freezing cold areas. I sat in a cold zone by one of the windows.
So I’m sitting there pretending to read along looking out the window and I hear my friend Bruce snickering. I look over at him and I can tell that something is cracking him up. I wonder if the teachers blouse has become unbottoned again but it has not. Dana is sitting behind him and she had the strangest look on her face. A look I had never seen on a woman’s face befor so I did not recognize it. She looked amazed and something seemed both funny and I’m not sure but maybe shocking as well. I looked back at Bruce and with a slight glance of his eyes at my lap (how tough that must have been for him) I discovered the source of the humor. I swear I wasn’t even thinking about girls but there it was in (almost) all it glory. My MEE I covered with my coat and fortunatly it was gone befor I had to leave my desk.
Of course when we went home that day my older brother said to me. “I heard you had a bonner in english class today.” Such are the joys of going to a small school.
So guys, what is the story of you MEE?
Long boring sermon, a day dream about my SO (not helped at all by her resting her hand on my thigh while we sat there in church), and then having to get up and go take communion. To quote my SO upon getting back to our pew “You do realize you’re going to go to Hell for that, don’t you?”
I was on vacation in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. Tons of hot girls everywhere and in skimpy bikinis so imagine being 16 and seeing more boobage than ever though possible. I figured as long as i’m in the ocean waiting for a wave to body surf in I’ll be fine. A wave came that had my name all over it, I caught it, rode it damn far in to shore–a rough ride all the way in too. I stood up with my trunks around my ankles and several moms with their toddlers catch a blimpse of my MEE.
Twelfth grade: Hard as Chinese arithmetic while being fitted for a costume by the parent of a classmate. The part when she knelt before me to take my inseam was, you should pardon the expression, the hardest part.
I had this 9th grade English teacher that was a total BABE. Honestly, one of the most beautiful women I have ever known, and she wore tight sweaters. I left that class every day with a MEE, every day.
Once in eight grade I had a rager and we had a test, my pencil broke and I asked my nerd buddy to loan me one of his extras and he gave me that “you should come to class better prepared, blah blah” and I had to walk to the sharpener with a very visible MEE.
I was in a high school English class, fantasizing about that hot little Anna P. who sat in the next row. Man, she was cute…yeah…she had long brown hair, and green eyes, a perfect ass and perky…
Um. Anyway.
I had something like cargo pants on, so it was easy to “hang” on one side. I’m sitting there fantasizing, and unknowingly playing Circus Roadie (raising the canvas into the beginnings of the tent stage). Sometime between second and third base with Anna, I get called on to read something to the class. Of course, I’m asked to stand up in front of the class.
I stood up, and it must have looked like I strained my back. Erections are supposed to point up, not be lodged in your pants leg. “Are you OK?”, the teacher asked.
The one lesson where we get to use the diveboard, I developed my MEE whilst standing in line on the stairs of the diveboard. As long as you’re on the stairs, you’re sort of fine. By placing one leg on the next step of the ladder, you can conceal it for the most part. All the while, you’re mentally trying to get your disobedient li’l member to cease and desist its unwanted and socially unaccepted stance.
Any guy worth his salt knows this doesn’t work. In fact, the li’l member is only going to be more persistant in its fight against gravity.
When it was my turn to dive, I must have broken the speed record from setting foot on the diveboard to ending up in the water. I do remember getting very poor ratings for the execution of the dive, and I also remember that my attempts to hide my MEE had been in vain.
On the whole, I’d have to speak in favour of my penis: it’s delivered me far more pleasure than embarrassment, so far. But I’m not even thirty yet, so who knows what’s in store for me.
For the first 20 years of your life, the damn thing is alway poppin’ up at the worst times. Then, like some cruel hoax, when you finally could use the bastard, it lets you down!
I once had a rager on a tour bus in Mazatlan. I was wearing shorts at the time, and had no way to hide it. I still recall the horrid feeling that caused. That son-of-a-bitch would not go away!!
Had I known a little better, I would have proudly stood up and done something to call attention to myself. Maybe would have got a little action from some of the 30-something housewives on board.
I wish I knew then what I knew now, and vice-versa.
What worries me is that half the world’s population is below average
7th grade…riding home on the bus…a warm day…drowsy boy has thoughts of lacivious nature…bus stops at corner where boy should get off. Boy stays on bus. Goes to end of line. Exits bus with coat held carefully over front of pants.
When I was 12 I went to visit my friend who had moved away, and slept over at his house in my boxers. In the morning his mother came to my sleeping bag in the living room, and told me to get out of bed. I had a huge boner in my boxer shorts and that was the last thing I wanted to do…she stood there watching me, puzzled as to why I was being so stubborn about getting up. I couldn’t even reach down to try to fix it. I stayed there in my sleeping bag for about 5 minutes, with the whole family now gathered in the living room waiting for me to get up. I finally ended up just jumping out of my sleeping bag and rolling it up as fast as possible, placing it in front of myself and running to the bathroom.
Spontaneous erections are still a problem for me at age 27. Every time I ride a bus I get one, making it almost impossible for me to go to the bathroom when I get off the bus, since I can’t seem to get rid of erections when my bladder is full, and I can’t urinate without incredible effort and pain. I would get erections in the middle of math tests, sitting down in church, etc.—usually without thinking any sexual thoughts whatsoever.
Does anyone else wear briefs solely to hide their more “spontaneous moments”? I usually do, even though I actually prefer boxers.
One of my greatest fears was that I’d get an erection during the annual school physicals–luckily, I was spared. No one showered after gym at my school, thank God!
The only one I can think of was during life saving drills while I was in US Navy boot camp. All any of us had on were thin white cotton gym shorts that became almost transparent when wet. The only thing that save me was the pair of dungarees I used to make a sailor life preserver. We had to jump in the pool with the dungarees, tie knots in the bottoms of each leg, fill the pants with air and float for 10 minutes. I felt myself getting hard just before we got out of the pool. A combination of wringing out the wet pants while smashing willie down worked.
When I was sixteen I discovered that this is actually nothing to worry about, due to the cold-war nature of several young males showering together. You see, even if one of them noticed you had a boner, he wouldn’t dare say anything, since then everyone would know that he’s the guy who looks at dicks in the shower.
one way to drop a boner is to thump yourself (not too hard) at the base down near your balls. don’t know why, but it works. you can just use a one finger karate chop motion as well. it has to be on the underside, not on top to work.
