embarrassing naked moments

i’m a high school senior, and normally i never shower after gym class, but yesterday i was leaving school early, and decided that since nobody would be there with me, i could (besides we just ran two miles, so i was sweaty!). now the fact was, i usually “set” my locker so i don’t need to rememeber the combonation. well i was butt-naked, seeing as i had even left a towel in my locker (our school issues towels). well after a refreshing shower, i went to change, but i realized I HAD MOVED THE DIAL AND DIDN’T REMEMBER THE COMBO! clearly i had a problem. to make the story short. i had to wait for the class to come back and beg one of my friends(while still totally naked) to get a janitor to unlock it. then a smirking janitor came and after what seemed like forever unlocked my locker and let me finally get something on. needless to say, this was embarrassing. (oh yeah, i missed my appointment!!!)

so anyone else have their most embarrassing naked moment to share??

You call THAT embarrassing? Two years ago at the Buick Open beer tent (a huge social event for the little burg of Michigan in which I live), this fiasco takes place: midway through the evening, obviously having been drinking tons of beer, I have to pee. So I go to the COMMUNAL round area of about 25 port-a-potties off to the side. Mid-stream, squatting (of course) over the vile mess of a toilet with my wallet hanging from my mouth (I didn’t THINK about setting it down in there), it dawns on me that in my muddled haze I did not lock the door correctly. This thought hits me ONLY because the door flies open and about forty people waiting for an open john get a nice little picture, as the door-opener sees fit to scream “Holy Shit!”, thus forcing all eyes my way. Lovely. I never have, and I’m certain, never will again, want to finish out the night in a port-a-potty. Hopefully.

ahhh, fond memories of Jr. High. It was eighth grade, taking one of those forced showers after gym class. For some reason, the floor in the girls’ locker room was smooth cement, and when wet, was as slick as an ice rink. Returning to my locker, I slipped and whacked my head on the floor, and must have been out cold for about 2 or 3 minutes. When I came to, my chubby, 15 year old naked body was surrounded by a bunch of laughing prom-queen-wannabes.
I’ve never wanted so badly to be Carrie than at that particular moment.

Growing up my dad used to come down to my room in the morning to wake me, pull open the curtains, sing the soonie boonie good morning song, flick on the lights and tell me the temperature outside and to get my butt up for school… when i was about 16 i had been up all nite yakking with my friend on the phone… dad came in and did the morning routine, left the room as usual and i went back to sleep… about 20 minutes later he came back in…told me to get up and whipped the blankets off me… much to dear ole dad’s surprise… soonie boonie had taken to sleeping in the nude LOL… im not sure who was more embarassed… but for a long time after he called to me from the top of the stairs to get up…

We are, each of us angels with only one wing;
and we can only fly by
embracing one another

oh man!
I am 16,I come home from work 5 o’clock in the afternoon,16 years old and all the lights are off in the house.What is this? I think.
Go through the house no one is watching t.v.
Dad is not at the kitchen table? Strange,ahh… the parents bedroom door is closed ,are they sick?,dying( they are over 40 by this time)what is up? I open the door and when my eyes adjust to the light my mom is… errr… mmm…pleasuring my dad orally!!! AAAAAAGGGGHHHHH… Run from the houde screaming do not come home for 3 days do not look parents in the face for 6 months

4th grade: I’m smitten by this cute little gal, so I call her up and ask her if she’ll be my girlfriend. Polite no. So I wait ~30 minutes to see if she’ll change her mind. No.

This goes on for a couple of weeks. I have to go see the pediatrician we all see. His office has a hallway off of which are several examining rooms. The hallway ends in a T-intersection where, if you continue on a straight course, you wind up going through the lab door. So this day I had to have some kind of lab work that involved sticking something up my rear. It’s drop trou and stare at the door between my legs, which I can deal with. Until somebody exits the lab and swings the door open mid my test and guess who’s walking down the hallway?

There’s a coup de grace here. The next day the object of my affection had chance to retrieve a dictionary that called for her passage down my aisle. She conveniently dropped her pencil by my desk and had the opportunity, in the course of retrieving it, to whisper in my ear, “beatle, I didn’t see you.”

Considering I’d kept my mouth shut, her comment gave the lie to the experience.

One of my friends has a party at her house to celebrate our graduation from high school. In the course of the party, I had to use the restroom. As I was standing at the toilet, looking down and watching the amazing color change that was occuring in the bowl, I felt my glasses slipping off my face. Panic lent superhuman speed to my reflexes as I swung my right hand down to bat the glasses out of the path of the bowl. They clattered against the wall and down to the floor. Probably not the best thing for them, but a lot better (for them and me) than landing in a bowl of fresh urine. As I finished up, the humor of the situation struck me full force. I walked out of the bathroom, tears rolling down my face, still chuckling and buckling my belt. The guy in line after me did a double take before entering.
Not really an embarrassing “naked” story, but I feel it was pretty amusing regardless.

hrm. in response to the OP i don’t think being naked in a locker room should be all that embarrassing.

honestly though, maybe i’m just not too uptight for my own good, but nudity has never been an issue for me. i’ve never really thought one way or another about my state of dress, through most of my life. i have a roomate, and half the time i’m naked, half the time i’m not. friends have come over and the same holds true… maybe i’m not normal :slight_smile:

none of my friends over the years have commented on whether i am nude or not… i just never really thought about it much.

heh. perhaps i am out of the mainstream in my nudity policy… what about the rest of you?

oh, and to the OP, i’ve never really had a naked embarrassing moment. i guess i’ve never been embarrassed about being nude.

Hey, you sweaty lot, what’s wrong with showering after gym class ? Just think about the guy sitting next to you in the follwoing period !

As for me, no naked embarrassing moments here. And I’m nude a lot. As a matter of fact, I’m sitting here butt naked typing this ! Gotta get dressed soon thoug, I’ve got my girlfriend and her parents coming over for coffee in a few minutes.

Huh ?? Is that a key I hear in the lock ??

Ohhhh Fuc________________


“You know how complex women are”

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

jeez cold you just had to tell us you were sitting there naked didnt you…

We are, each of us angels with only one wing;
and we can only fly by
embracing one another

Since I pretty much don’t like the restrictive nature of clothes, I don’t wear them often. Makes for some interesting door answering… infact it is a great way to get rid of those pesky sales ppl or religious fanatics…hard for them to make a pitch when they are stuttering so badly…but hey that is another thread. Can’t really remember it ever being embarrassing for me… but then again I love being a bit outrageous.

“Only when he no longer knows what he is doing, does the painter do good
things.” --Edgar Degas

So maybe three years ago, I was in Iowa City visiting some of my friends from college. A group of 6 of us (just happened to be 3 girls and 3 guys) were at my friend Eric’s apartment when someone suggested playing strip poker. Well, we didn’t have cards, so instead we played naked trivial pursuit. It wasn’t a huge deal to me, I forgot that I was naked pretty quickly and I was winning the game.

At some point I got up to get a soda out of the kitchen. I walked back to the living room and (because I was looking down at the floor or something) walked directly INTO Eric’s fully-clothed roommate and his new girlfriend, whom none of us had ever met. They must have come in while I was in the kitchen, but all I know is that nothing can ruin a perfectly innocent game of naked trivial pursuit like two uptight clothed people. I sat right down after that and one of my girlfriends told me that not only was I blushing, but my ENTIRE body had turned beet red.

The roommate started having some sort of fit, so he and Eric went into the kitchen to “talk” without the rest of us hearing, and the girlfriend just stood there and stared at the remaining 5 of us. Actually, now that I think of it it might have been just as embarrassing for her.

I don’t quite remember how Eric and the other guy resolved their arguement in the kitchen, but I think at some point punches were thrown. We didn’t get to finish the game, I know that.

My most embarrassing naked moment was not from being naked, but from being naked and a klutz at the same time.

I was at party–in full kilt, military No. 2 dress–for an advertising firm that had hired the bagpipe band I played with to do a job for them. A woman came up to me and asked if I would like to pose nude for her daughter, who was in the process of putting together a series of “Ladies’ Home Companion” calendars, datebooks, and address books filled with photos of naked men. Well, being flattered by the attention, I said yes.

A few days later I drove out into the country to a farm where they were doing a photoshoot in the foothills behind a farm owned by a female friend of the photographer’s mother. It had rained the night before, but it wasn’t too cold. They wanted to shoot me playing my pipes on some rock outcroppings up the hill, so we hiked up a slick, steep dirt road, and then across some scrub to get there. (Parenthetically, while I was naked and barefoot, I did notice that the farmer was wearing snake chaps, and swinging a stick as she went up the hill. Hmmm.) The pictures were taken, and then we headed back down. Once on the dirt, well, mud road, I lost my footing, and slid 15 yards down the hill, leaving a big, muddy wake as I grasped my pipes to my chest to protect them. Fortunately I hadn’t gone over any big, sharp rocks, so I was relatively intact, but I was truly covered head to foot in mud.

So the embarrassing part was being hosed down next to the chicken coop by the snickering 14-yr-old daughter of the farmer.

I’m normally rather modest about nudity, so I don’t have all that many, except for this particular moment, when I wished I could just explode…

I was stuck living on campus over the break between spring and summer semesters this year. They stuck me in a basement double-occupancy dorm room. Anyway, after a couple of days, no roommate had materialized, so I thought I had the room to myself. So, one night, I was feeling very much in the mood, so I went down to the Circle K, bought some inspirational literature (if you catch my drift), got out a couple of my favorite toys, and proceeded to get down with my own bad self. I had just about ascended Mt. Orgasm, when suddenly, I heard a key turning in the lock. With the kind of reflexes I had previously only read about in books, I threw the magazine in a drawer, withdrew the toys, and jumped across the room to hide in the closet just in time to hear the door open. Trying to keep the panting to a minimum, I heard a voice say “Oh, for fuck’s sake, the bitch still isn’t in…”, even though my clothes were strewn about the floor, the toys were still lying on the bed, the drawer with the magazine was still open, and the whole place must have smelled like sex ‘n’ candy. Anyway, after she left, I cleaned everything up, and an hour later, she came back, explained that she was my new roommate, that she had been visiting relatives back east for the past week, and she would be moving her shit in tomorrow, just letting you know so that there won’t be any surprises… In any event, the remainder of our (mercifully short) time together went uneventfully, except for a couple of oblique references to masturbation in closets.

Anyway, that’s my embarassing naked moment. Rest assured, it will not happen again.

Modest? You bet I’m modest! I am the queen of modesty!

I’ve not had any awkward naked moments myself, but I used to have a flatmate who spent plenty of time in the alltogether, watching TV, cleaning up, reading, anything at all. Even when people came by I had to drop hints that he might like to put some damn clothes on, it was not a pretty sight. It all stopped the night we had ordered in some Italian food and a video, and he dropped his little metal tray of lasagne. It had just about enough room to turn over, and landed right in his buck nekkid lap. He gave the loudest, highest-pitched scream I have ever heard and shot into the bathroom to hose himself down with ice-cold water from the shower faucet. I know it was very uncharitable of me, but I had to laugh so hard tears were rolling down my face at the sight.

It only hurts when I laugh.

I was 13 years old. Like any 13 year old, I was completely naked in my room spanking the monkey. Out of nowhere my parents walked into my room and saw me, masterbating, completely nude. After about 5 seconds of dead silence from both of us, my parent ran out of the room immediately.

One good thing out of this is that no one barges into my room unannounced anymore :slight_smile:

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
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Give someone an F.U.

This isn’t ** my ** most embarrassing moment, but a girl I knew. We were at my sister’s wedding. A friend of ours had brought a very attractive young lady named Carrie. Carrie was in the mood to party that night and proceeded to drink about 10 glasses of red wine. Next thing I know, Mike came up to me and asked me to check on Carrie, who had gone to the bathroom but had never come out. I went into the bathroom, and sure enough, there were her shoes. I called her name a couple times and got no response. I finally looked underneath the stall, and there she sat passed out on the toilet, her underwear and pantyhose down around her ankles, and her dress hiked up to her waist. I got to crawl underneath the stall (what a view!) and retrieve her off the toilet to the floor, while trying to maintain her modesty. Which is no easy feat with someone who is unconscious. She ended up throwing up all over herself and me. She vomited on her face, her ears, her eyelashes, her hair. And wine throw up has a distinct smell that I’ll never forget.

Let’s just say, if someone else has to wipe your crotch and pull up your underwear, you’ve got a drinking problem.

I wouldn’t say this was my most embarrassing moment, but it was a bit ackward. This summer a girlfriend and I went to a few clubs and met up with her boyfriend and his friend. At the end of the evening we decided to go back to the boyfriends friend’s house and get in the hot tub under the stars. Everyone wanted to get naked and enjoy but I reluctantly explained I had a boyfriend and felt funny about stripping in front of the guys. Of course, they thought I was more than a bit “uptight” so we went entered in underware and panties. After a few drinks, a lot of laughter and splashing, our host tells us where the shower is and tells us to make ourselves at home. At this point, my friend and her boyfriend were nearly all over themselves so I figure it’s my cue to leave. I head for the shower, turn on the radio in the room, get things hot and steamy and jump in. As I’m all lathered up, the shower door opens and in walks the host totally naked, sticking out everywhere, asking me if I minded if he shared my shower. What could I say? Quickly, I finish my shower and tell my friend it’s time to leave. BTW, the host and I have become good friends :wink:

I was bodyboarding during a particularly heavy day at the Wedge in Newport Beach. The wedge is a man made jetty that, when a north swell hits it just right, generates these monster 14-15 foot waves right on shore. I had been out for about a hourwhen this ugly wave rolls in and I take off ultra late on it. I landed in the trough and proceeded to get hammered in about 3 feet of water. As I stood up and pulled sand out of my eyes, I got a few whistles and found that shorts had been obiterated in the machine (Literally, I never found them). I had to put my board in front of me and run about 100 feet through a laughing crowd in order to wrap myself in a towel.