I did a variation of that at the same age. I was in tee-ball practice and we were playing some variation of the game of H-O-R-S-E (where you get a letter if you miss a catch, or something like that).
Anyway, one of the other little kids got his third letter and I loudly yelled out, “Hey, you’re a HOR now! Ha ha.”
Now I had no idea that “HOR” had a homophone that was not too nice, nor did I have any idea what that word meant.
I got benched for the rest of the practice, and had no idea why the coach was so mad at me. When my mom came to pick me up from practice, she asked me why I was on the bench. I told her, “All I did was call this other kid a HOR!” I actually expected her to defend me. :smack:
If I had to go though all of them I coulnd’t do it without a bottle of prozac…or cyanide.
So I just go for one from when I was 6 or so. My first time at stay-away camp. My first time with alot of…well…black people. Just weren’t any in my kindergarten. Met a kid (black) hit it off. Ran into another black kid. Started up a conversation based on or former conversation.
Different kid.
I was doing the “they all look alike thing” :o The worst thing was the other kid knew it. Sent me a stare that by all rights should have burned a hole right through me.
I slumped off feeling like I’d burned a kindergarten sized cross in her yard.
Oh my god, I just did the same thing, except I’m 22, WAY old enough to know better. I’m a very shy person and I have trouble making friends.
There’s a girl in one of my classes who I’ve been trying to build up a friendship with, and it’s been going well until today. She came in the classroom and sat next to me, in the seat of another girl who usually sits there. Without really looking at her, I greeted her and struck up a conversation based on the assumption that she was the other girl who usually sits next to me.
They are both Chinese (I’m white), and I’m sure she thinks I didn’t bother to tell them apart when in reality it’s my nervousness and shyness preventing me from looking people in the face when I talk to them I’m still not quite sure how I could have been so stupid, since I’ve know the first girl for a full semester and I only met the other one two days ago. :smack:
Oh God, your story makes me burn with hot shame . . .
20+ years ago I worked with a woman, “Donna,” whose mother was dying of a particularly horrible brain cancer. My co-workers circulated a “Thinking of You” card to express support and care for Donna; I didn’t look at the front of the card and blithely signed “Happy, happy birthday! Don’t get too drunk tonight!” and drew a little winky-smiley face. I was the last signee and handed it to her.
Believe it or not (and I don’t blame you if you don’t), I told this exact joke to a man whose daughter had her arm amputated shortly after birth. And I knew this to be true. And I was much older than 10.
Here is one I missed committing by a whisker:
Years ago I worked for a hospice. I would see the patients periodically. One man, named George, came in one day. I came very close to saying, “Hey, George! I thought you had died!”
mmm
At a former job I vented to a coworker about another coworker and accidentally included the one I was complaining about on the email. That one is *not *funny. I didn’t say anything too terrible - I really cared for and respected this person and she was just frustrating me but I got called into the bosses office and we had to hash it out and it ended with me in tears.
I’ve shared this one before: when I met my former (English) boyfriend, he dubbed one of my cats “The Minge”. I was not familiar with the term - I thoughy he was referring to the way she always howled and whined. One Sunday we went to a popular British restaurant so he could introduce me to all his British friends. I got to talking to a couple about their cat, who was a stray they’d taken in. I too had an adopted stray and, being so excited that we had something in common, I SQUEALED *loudly *" Oh, that’s how I got my minge!" (minge is a very filthy term for. . . unsavory lady bits).
Shortly after Desert Storm broke out, I went to get my hair cut at Fantastic Sam’s. The stylist took a phone call and was speaking some language I didn’t recognize; for some reason I was eager to make chit-chat, so I asked her what language it was.
She smiled and said, “Farsi. You know Iraq?”
Me: “Yeah, I’ve heard of Iraq. Didn’t we bomb the crap out of them a few days ago?”
…I don’t make small talk with barbers anymore. :smack:
I remember being a very young boy. I had made a new female friend. My dad and mom was giving us a ride home from school. On the way home, I asked my new female friend if she would like to spend the night…
Everyone in the car laughed (including my new friend). I had no idea at the time what was so funny. Boy did I feel dumb.
Hey, I can relate to that one. I can’t tell you how many weddings I’ve been in or attended where I didn’t bring a gift. I thought my presence was plenty sufficient. (I know, right).
Multitudes of other faux-pases I could count. Getting waaaay too drunk for circumstances. Actually that’s the only one I can count. There are probably others that proceed from that.
I’m not sure how I missed this zombie the first time around. Did anyone else notice the ratio of banned to current members? It might be an all time high for a thread…
I checked the list of people who have posted to this thread and I’m not on it, although I don’t know how I could have passed it up the first time.
Also, there are at least two people in the world who, if they read this, will know who I am. Please don’t give me away.
Anyway, many years ago a co-worker invited me and a bunch of other co-workers to a party at his apartment. Being socially challenged, I drank too much (to make up for not talking to anyone, I guess). I soon began to feel queasy, and I couldn’t get into the one bathroom. I went outside where it was cooler, and I felt just enough better that I couldn’t be sick but I was still nauseated. After a while I had to go back inside because it was too cold. I started feeling dizzy and sicker. Like a sick cat I went into someplace where no-one else was (the closet in the bedroom where the coats were) and (only half-conscious) left a small-ish surprise for our host in the middle of the closet floor. I then staggered to the bed and passed out on top of the coats. That would be bad but not epic. What made it memorable was that my boss, who came in later looking for her coat, was the first one to find my little surprise by stepping in it. Of course, if I hadn’t been passed out on the bed they would not have been able to tell who was the culprit, but there I was in all my limp glory.
I think everyone had a better sense of humor about it than I did, including the host and my boss. People did not throw this incident in my face more than once or twice in 30 years since then. I’m not sure how I have deserved their forbearance.
I was at a party and several of us, including the hostess were having a conversation about people who like to collect things.
I made a remark about the type of things people collect and how I don’t understand why people (especially women) would collect those ugly ass Precious Moments figurines. They are not hard to find, aren’t worth much and whoever likes them has the worst taste I’ve ever heard of. Strangely no one nodded with agreement and the conversation came to a stop.
I excused myself to go to the bathroom. What do I see in the bathroom? Several shelves with Precious Moments figurines proudly on display.
Years ago I rented a place from an older woman who lived up the road with her son, who was my age (40 or so).
I stopped at her house a few days after xmas to pay January’s rent. Her son answered the door dressed to the nines in a nice suit. I’d never seen him in anything but jeans.
So, I complimented his outfit, really going overboard, and asked if he was heading out to strut his stuff at a holiday party. He replied, “I guess you haven’t heard, my mom died”.
I handed him the money, mumbled something and split.
I’m still not quite sure how I could have been so stupid, since I’ve know the first girl for a full semester and I only met the other one two days ago. :smack:
