Amen, sister!
There seem to be two different recommendations in this thread: A: Every adult should keep an eye on every kid in the community so they don’t get hurt, but B: No adult should correct aberrant behavior. That’s no way to teach kids to live in society! You cleared up the confusion quite nicely!
Certainly, four years old is too young to be toddling around the neighborhood. And another point that hasn’t been raised is the necessity of checking in periodically.
When I was 14, and newly arrived in a suburb after being born and raised in a rural community, a girl who would have been in my class and school went missing, then turned up in a field. Well, I didn’t have to have pictures drawn for me. I always made sure to, and did not have to be nagged into, inform my parents where I was going, who with, and approximately when I would return. I also called to let them know if I was leaving one house to go to another, or to the store or something. (I once asked a friend’s dad for use of the phone, and he almost fell off his chair when he found I was informing my mom that his daughter and I were going to get ice cream. Why didn’t she do that? he wondered aloud.)
But of course, nothing was good enough for my mom. I got hell if I was late by five damn minutes. And she also thought that if I told her where I was, telling her what I’d been doing should automatically follow. But the incident that still burns my ass went as follows.
In the fall of my senior year, I flew to another part of the country to visit a prospective college. When the visit was over, I had to go to a hotel to get the shuttle to the airport. In the parking lot, some clown in a pickup truck tried to engage me in conversation. I ignored him, then reported him to hotel security. My parents were so proud of me! Sensible and mature, that was me!
Sort of.
In the spring of the same year, I went out for a walk after dinner. All of a sudden, my dad cruises up behind me in the car. My mom had seen a van drive past right after I left. “Oh, you always hear of kids being abducted in vans!” True, you do. But I was 18, not 5. And I’d already proven, during my out-of-state trip, that I didn’t have rocks in my head. So WTF? Is 18 not old enough to cut the cord?
I have considered this, but there are (at least) three problems:
-We live next door; our houses face out onto a public green where the kids play - my neighbours, being in a mid-terrace house (I am in the end-terrace) have almost no garden, so the kids play on the green (which is what it’s for); I’d have to keep mine in our garden or specifically forbid them contact with the other kids, which might cause problems (see point 3).
-They share a common set of other friends; there are families who have said that their kids must not play with my neighbours’ kids and this leads to awful “I can only play with you if you stop playing with her” situations.
-There is the (apparent)issue of race; my neighbours are of different ethnic origin to me; this isn’t a problem (and in fact I go out of my way to make sure it isn’t), but (sad to say) refusal to associate with them is very likely to be interpreted as being rooted in racial prejudice, both by them and by third party observers.
Everything is now smoothed over in the most unusual way; I had to bring my kids indoors from playing out on the green tonight as some older lads (aged 10 to 12ish) turned up and started playing a little rough. Anyway, their play gradually developed into a sustained agressive barrage of offensive racial insults and obscene language and gesturing; It eventually looked very much as though it might be about to escalate into some sort of physical violence or damage to property so I intervened by telling the lads to clear off, which worked for a while but they returned twice later for another go. The police were called and I volunteered a witness statement, so we’re friends and allies again.
Frankly though, I’m shocked that such a thing could happen in this place.
I completely omitted to mention that the abuse was directed at my neighbours’ children.
::eek::
Well, that’s quite the duex ex machine ending to this tawdry little tale, isn’t it? I’m glad everything’s been smoothed over, Mangetout*. I hope it sticks! 
bella