You're going to fight a duel- what weapon do you choose?

You were challenged to a duel, and circumstances compelled you to accept. In the hypothetical reality where this happens duels are legal and you are able-bodied, not elderly, nor ill. Duels in this world work like this: The challenger issues the challenge, the other party accepts. The person who accepted chooses the weapons both parties will use. The challenger then chooses the terms of the duel, to blood, to wounding (meaning a wound severe enough to prevent one from continuing the fight), or to death. The duelists fight the next day in level, grassy square 20 feet to a side. There is a fence surrounding the dueling grounds that is locked until the fight is over. Going beyond the terms of the duel will result in stiff penalties, including fines and likely jail time. Neither fighter is allowed to wear armor of any kind and medical personnel are nearby for when the fight is over.

You have no way of knowing which condition your opponent will choose, and the two of you are roughly equal when it comes to physical strength and endurance. You may choose any weapon that can be carried and used by a single person* from automatic rifles to pointed sticks. With all this in mind, what weapons will you choose?

For myself, I’d fight with spears. They’re good weapons for novices (which I am) and I think it would be relatively easy to strike in a way that would only draw blood or injure without killing, while also being able to kill if need be.
*No explosives, incendiaries, chemical agents, biological agents, animals, sci-fi weapons, or fantasy weapons.

Seems like a name change might be in order there, Reg.

I think I’ll go for boxing gloves. I’ve got long arms and a low tolerance for mortal danger.

Fencing sword. I took fencing in college, and spent several years doing theatrical sword combat.

My words.

I bet I could bore my opponent to death.


The Sword of Godric Gryffindor, along with the Invisibility Cloak of Ignotus Peverell.

Hey, it’s a hypothetical reality.

I don’t know what the best choice is, but one of the worst choices ever is bullwhips (or any kind of whip really). There is a scene in one of the Underworld movies (the second one, I think) which looks cool as hell cinematically, but defies all logic. In the scene, one of the vampires has a whip in each hand and he is fending off a lycan attack. So basically his plan is to make them as angry as possible before they run in and eat his face off?? Great plan dude.

Most hardcore choice? - normal carpenty hammers.

I’ve thought about this, not in a dueling situation, but as in an apocalyptic one, wherein you must cross hostile territory.

Baseball bat, actually. I have used a firearm since I was in the military, and would probably be a lousy shot. Knives scare the crap out of me, and spears would probably require both hands


Secret weapon:Viagra. Outlast the bastard.

Gloves or bare hands. I’ve taken quite a bit of martial arts. (Though I haven’t in a decade or so.)

Take another look at the footnote in the OP.

You’re in for a long fight, then, even if it’s just to first blood.

Cannibal Corpse would be proud!

It would be tough to draw blood with causing a more severe injury with a bat. The same goes for guns. What’s wrong with using both hands?

:smiley: I like the way you think!

The main factor in winning is who gets the first blow.

Nerf guns. If he chooses to fight to the death, too bad for him it’s not happening.

It’s surprisingly easy to get a nose to spew blood, even with gloves. I’d want the smaller MMA style gloves though. Meant more to protect your hand than their face.

Spear was my first thought as well. It’s capable of lots of different ways of fighting and I’ve done a little bit of quarter staff work. A glaive might be a good alternative as well.

I’ve done knife fighting as well and everyone walks away bloody so even the winner lose. About the only alternative to the spear would be a hatchet you can mostly use it like a hammer but at least with it sharp you’ve got an easier way to s to get to first blood.

This being the Dope, I’m surprised that nobody has yet suggested a pair of sausages.

But I won’t either. I choose a chess set. I’ve got a decent chance of winning, and even if I lose, I probably won’t lose all the way to the death.

I say you win.

You could ram all the pieces into the breathing holes.

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised…