You're the producer/director of a comic book movie: make the fans angry!

Time for a new game: It’s common these days for people to voice their frustrations about various comic book movie adaptations—the ones that failed spectacularly, anyway.

Now, a lot of people have said how they could do better. But I’ve got a little turnabout in mind: how could you do worse?

The setup: You’ve become the head of the motion picture studio arm/licensee of the comic book company of your choice. Greenlighting projects, hiring writers/directors/producers, and all creative control is in your grubby hands. You’re basically the god, now.

So, your assignment: piss the fans off. Break the characters, drive the plotlines before you, and hear the lamentations of the canon. Recklessly retcon, reboot, revanche. Stop short of completely driving the company out of business. If you can.

Do this either by A) Starting films, or making changes to the franchise that you, personally, would actually like to see, but know would never float with the critics and view base (Deliberately botching a potential good idea works, too, if you say how you’d do it), or B) doing something stupid or awful on purpose. I’ll leave the details of that to your imaginations.

The only major limitation, for this project? Whatever you make, it has to be something you can at least semi-plausibly release to theaters in the United States. So you can’t just release a four-hour snuff film “starring” a kid in a Robin costume, while racial epithets are screamed over bullhorns in six different languages. (You have a little more leeway with deliberately filming stuff for the unrated DVD cut, but major felonies still aren’t going to cut it)

Extra points to whoever can do the most damage with the subtlest amount of changes. Try me.

Clark Kent seeks to avenge his parents’ murder…

Hasn’t Zack Snider already won the threat?

In my case, I’d do Batman exactly as he appeared in the 40s and 50s: well-adjusted, smart, showing off his detective skills, and fighting the Tweed brothers with a giant penny involved. We could go with a chubby Alfred, and, of course, Bat-Mite. So that would massively piss off the fans without a single change from the original.

Well, if that’s the standard: Wonder Woman gets tied up a lot, never gets naked.

How about an absolutely faithful adaptation of Eisner’s great run on THE SPIRIT, complete with Ebony White? “No suh, boss, but ah sho is de fastest!”

I would revive Superman Lives, starring Nicholas Cage.

Too late to add: When you hear Kevin Smith talk about his involvement with the project, you’ll find it pretty hard to top. :smiley:

I’d base the Batman/Superman movie on the silver age era comics. At this point, why not right?

You’d have great elements like Supes becoming a hobo, Batman spouting homosexual innuendos to Robin, Wonder Woman marrying an alien, and Lex Luthor creating an antidote for Kryptonite poisoning!

It’d be a bonafide hoot.

Any of them as an evangelical fundamentalist. Have Pat Robertson direct.

I’d make Deadpool a mild-mannered, well-adjusted ladies’ man.

Fans would go out of their minds.

They already made him a mute teleporter in the first Wolverine movie-kind of hard to top that.

Wonder Woman and Bat Girl in a lesbo-love affair.
ETA: wait a sec, I might want to watch that.

Nicholas Cage as The Punisher.

A 90 minute live action version of the entire Cerburus saga, staring Jason Alexander.

How about a Batman movie where his recurring arch-enemy, The Joker, Is just killed off at the end of the movie?

While it doesn’t quite fit the reqs of the OP, I was strongly reminded of this: Saturday Morning Watchmen

That would be Batman '89.

Yep. :smiley:


My next X-Men film would have Wolverine killed off.

After five movies of ridiculously making him the leader, that’d be a fun twist.

My dark-and-gritty reboot of Sugar and Spike might just work here…

Or just an Ambush Bug film,. Doesn’t matter if we got a young Jim Carrey to play Irwin, nothing would work on screen.

At the end of the movie, the camera pulls back and reveals that the action has all been happening inside a mental hospital.